A list of puns related to "Schoolgirl Detectives"
If so, please share it with me. Looking forward to read it.
https://news.sky.com/story/caroline-glachan-death-three-people-charged-with-murder-of-teenage-girl-whose-body-was-found-in-river-leven-in-1996-12478455
Three people have been charged with the murder of a schoolgirl in Scotland 25 years ago.
Caroline Glachan, 14, from Bonhill, was last seen at about 12.15am on Sunday 25 August 1996, when she walked down Dillichip Loan towards Dillichip Bridge, in West Dunbartonshire, before then going on to a towpath.
Her body was discovered at about 4.10pm later that day in the River Leven, about a mile from her home and on what was her mother Margaret McKeich's 40th birthday.
Detective Chief Inspector Stuart Grainger, of Police Scotland's Major Investigations Teams, has now said they arrested and charged two men and a woman in connection with the death.
He said: "I would like to thank the members of the public who have assisted with our investigation and those who have come forward with important information surrounding Caroline's death."
Having attended the same school as Caroline and taught by the same teachers this has always been a haunting case for everyone in the area, I can only imagine how much more so for her loved ones.
Hopefully this is the start of justice for Caroline.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies π
It really does, I swear!
So I want to say it was a possibly a Marvel series on Netflix but basically the mob boss/villain is eating lunch with his daughters at a restaurant, the girl pretending to be a waitress to get to him gives him a message than runs away, in order to avoid detection she takes off her wig and her skirt rolls around to match school girls coming out of school so the villains henchmen canβt identify her.
Meet the Milsburyβs
Miller Marcus Milsbury grabbed his rucksack and threw it onto the conveyor belt in front of him. The pack of luggage and essentials rolled down the belt, joining the dozens of other bags at the spaceport checkpoint. He watched as the sack full of all his survival essentials trundled across the machine and rolled through the scanner. He then put on a different item, using much more care than before.
Gently, he set on a large, black case, meticulously labeled with βfragileβ stickers. The word was spelled out in several of the most well known and spoken languages in the Shilβvati empire, but with English and Shilβ being the largest and most prevalent. Sweat began to bead his brow as he watched it progress down, his hands trembling. The Shilβ guard manning the security checkpoint grabbed the case off the conveyor, and began inspecting it with a discerning eye.
What you got in here?β Her universal translator garbled out as she glanced it over. Miller let out a deep breath.
βPersonal items, mostly. Nothing special.β He said as confidently as he could. The Shilβ guard raised her eyebrow, looking over the item.
βThen you wonβt mind if I open it, right?β She said more as a statement than a question. Miller felt unease form in his stomach.
βActually, I would very much mind that.β He said matter-of-factly to her. The Shilβ guard rolled her eyes.
"Sir, this is a routine inspection for your safety and the safety of others." she droned out in a monotone voice.
βI just donβt want you rummaging through my stuff.β He said with a huff. The Shilβ guard glared at him.
"Sir. I assure you I am a trained professional. Nothing untoward will be happening with your boxers, and I'll even be wearing gloves." She stated irritatedly, holding up a loose pair of blue nitrile gloves.
Miller shook his head no.βWell I just donβt like it, do you have to do it?β He asked.
A strong hand with long nails clasped down onto his shoulder firmly, gripping it. Miller turned and looked up behind him, craning his neck to see up.
And there she was.
Tall, imposing, towering over him and casting a shadow. Even among Shil, she was large. Broader, taller, and more muscular. Anyone could recognize her military bearing, and the service jacket she wore over her plainclothes showed off her marine battalionβs name proudly.
A Shilβ marine.
Enough to make nearly anyone piss their pants.
βWhatβre you so nervous about? Itβs just a routine inspec
... keep reading on reddit β‘Buenosdillas
Theyβre on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Original Post 6 October
This post has been spurred by the latest slaughter of Australian children by someone who was improperly driving their car, only to have the offender let off without seeing the inside of a prison cell.
Australia has a problem with our relationship with the private car, and a problem with properly assigning blame with the trauma that motorists cause.
Cars are heavy, fast, dangerous machines. Cars kill people. Motorists kill people.
Casual or reckless misuse of a car can have exactly the same consequences as casual or reckless misuse of a gun:
If you are a little bit careless, cocky, generally negligent with a gun, you can kill people, or cause them to suffer life changing injuries.
If you are a little bit careless, cocky, generally negligent with a car, you can kill people, or cause them to suffer life changing injuries.
So when a motorist does something a little bit careless, cocky, or is generally negligent, resulting in the death of someone else, we treat them the same as a negligent gun user right? Lol no.
How do we respond to gun violence?
25 years ago, Australia witnessed a gun massacre we're all familiar with. 35 people died, 24 injured. What did we do? We locked up the gunman for life, and we placed severe restrictions on the sale and use of guns for all Australians to prevent something similar happening again. This was the right response and Australia is now famous for it.
What are the consequences of road trauma?
In the last 25 years, more than 37,000 Australians have been killed by people driving cars. Over 1,000x more people have died from road trauma in Australia since the Port Arthur massacre, than died in the Port Arthur massacre. That's 12x more Australian's killed by cars since 1996, than Americans killed in the world trade centre attacks. Life changing injury rates are typically 5 times higher than death rates, so in the last 25 years, nearly 200,000 Australians have suffered life changing injuries thanks to people driving cars, 8,000x more than were injured at Port Arthur. That's just life c
... keep reading on reddit β‘Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
You take away their little brooms
[Removed]
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
Why
Itβs pronounced βNoel.β
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
French/Finnish art
Country/Canadian rap
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
This is my first post, and I have to say, this is also the first time I've felt that odd sense of attachment and grief that I'm sure you have all experienced after looking into an unresolved murder or disappearance.
Information on this case is strangely complicated while being vague at the same time.
Background:
Michaela Godau was born in Germany on 15 April 1967. She migrated to Australia in November 1981 with her mother, Emmi, her step-father, Herwarth, and brother Adel. Another brother, Jack, was alive at the time of Michaela's disappearance, I'm assuming he was born in Australia.
They lived at Walpole Street, Davoren Park, and Michaela and Adel attended Fremont High School. Michaela was 14 years old at the time of her disappearance in December 1982.
Emmi Godau has said of her daughter, βShe was certainly challenging as a teenager, she was headstrong. She liked her sport and music, but she didnβt like going to school".
Emmi left Adelaide in July 1982 to return to Germany after struggling to find work as a nurse. While Michaela remained in Adelaide with her stepfather Herwarth and her brother, they were planning to return to Germany aswell. While Mrs Godau was in Germany, the decision was made to sell the family home and a contract had been signed.
Michaela Vanishes:
In early December 1982, a prospective buyer had come to inspect the house and negotiate the purchase of furniture. While there, they reported having a conversation with Michaela, noticing she had an injury to her eye. It remains unclear as to how that injury occurred.
The last known sighting of Michaela was at around 10pm on Sunday, 19 December 1982, as she was going to bed. Herwarth noticed she was missing the following morning and reported it to police between 5:30 and 6am on Monday, 20 December. He claimed that Michaela had taken $460 in cash, toiletries, her passport and some sleeping pills.
The investigation:
During the investigation, one of Michaelaβs friends told authorities that she'd had a troublesome relationship with her stepfather. However, Michaela' s mother has stated that, βThey got on quite well. When she wanted something, she would always go to him instead of me. She knew she would get her way".
AΒ formal approach was made to Herwarth Godau to assist in the inquiry, and he initially cooperated. However, he didnβt reveal to them that child-welfare authorities had intervened several months prior to this, responding to concerns about his relationship with
... keep reading on reddit β‘Nothing, it just waved
When I got home, they were still there.
There hasn't been a post all year!
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