Sarah Elbert Puns

aaron abbey abbie abby abdul abe abel abigail abraham abram ada adah adalberto adaline adam adan addie adela adelaida adelaide adele adelia adelina adeline adell adella adelle adena adina adolfo adolph adria adrian adriana adriane adrianna adrianne adrien adriene adrienne afton agatha agnes agnus agripina agueda agustin agustina ahmad ahmed ai aida aide aiko aileen ailene aimee aisha aja akiko akilah al alaina alaine alan alana alane alanna alayna alba albert alberta albertha albertina albertine alberto albina alda alden aldo alease alec alecia aleen aleida aleisha alejandra alejandrina alejandro alena alene alesha aleshia alesia alessandra aleta aletha alethea alethia alex alexa alexander alexandra alexandria alexia alexis alfonso alfonzo alfred alfreda alfredia alfredo ali alia alica alice alicia alida alina aline alisa alise alisha alishia alisia alison alissa alita alix aliza alla allan alleen allegra allen allena allene allie alline allison allyn allyson alma almeda almeta alona alonso alonzo alpha alphonse alphonso alta altagracia altha althea alton alva alvaro alvera alverta alvin alvina alyce alycia alysa alyse alysha alysia alyson alyssa amada amado amal amalia amanda amber amberly ambrose amee amelia america ami amie amiee amina amira ammie amos amparo amy an ana anabel analisa anamaria anastacia anastasia andera anderson andra andre andrea andreas andree andres andrew andria andy anette angel angela angele angelena angeles angelia angelic angelica angelika angelina angeline angelique angelita angella angelo angelyn angie angila angla angle anglea anh anibal anika anisa anisha anissa anita anitra anja anjanette anjelica ann anna annabel annabell annabelle annalee annalisa annamae annamaria annamarie anne anneliese annelle annemarie annett annetta annette annice annie annika annis annita annmarie anthony antione antionette antoine antoinette anton antone antonetta antonette antonia antonietta antonina antonio antony antwan anya apolonia april apryl ara araceli aracelis aracely arcelia archie ardath ardelia ardell ardella ardelle arden ardis ardith aretha argelia argentina ariana ariane arianna arianne arica arie ariel arielle arla arlean arleen arlen arlena arlene arletha arletta arlette arlie arlinda arline arlyne armand armanda armandina armando armida arminda arnetta arnette arnita arnold arnoldo arnulfo aron arron art arthur artie arturo arvilla asa asha ashanti ashely ashlea ashlee ashleigh ashley ashli ashlie ashly ashlyn ashton asia asley a

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

#Boys

• Adam
• Allan
• Alton
• Andrew
• Ashton
• Buren
• Byron
• Carl (2)
• Charles
• Cleo
• Clyde
• Cornelius
• Crawford
• Daniel
• Delbert
• Douglas
• Edgar
• Elbert
• Forest
• Frank
• George (2)
• Hartwell
• Henry
• Irvin
• James (3)
• John (5)
• Joseph (3)
• Lamar
• Leyburne
• Maitland
• Malcolm
• Marvin
• Max
• Milton
• Monroe
• Morton
• Otis
• Ottrell
• Rex
• Robert
• Samuel
• Stirman
• Thomas (2)
• William (4)
• Yewell

#Girls

• Alice (2)
• Alma (2)
• Anna
• Anne
• Bernice
• Catherine
• Corrine
• Cynthia
• Daisy
• Elizabeth (5)
• Ellen
• Emily
• Emma
• Era
• Ersa
• Florence
• Frances
• Gladys
• Guyress
• Jessie
• Josephine
• Julia
• Katherine
• Laura
• Lelia
• Leona
• Lettye
• Louise
• Lydia (2)
• Marcella
• Margaret
• Marguerite
• Marie
• Marjorie
• Martha
• Mary (3)
• Mildred
• Nancy
• Nellie
• Nina
• Olive
• Ruth (2)
• Sarah
• Virginia
• Vista
• Wileminia

Hi guys, so I came across u/CyrusNavarre's post about a Battle Royale between U.S. Senators here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/thecampaigntrail/comments/qmbrly/us_senate_battle_royale_announcement/

I thought it was a great idea, so I compiled a list of all of the most popular or distinguished politicians in every state. I limited myself to 4 of each person. For politicians whose roles were unknown, I just chose those who had been Senate Majority/Minority Leader for a decent amount of time or had a great amount of time in the Senate. Without further ado:

Fictional Senate Races

Alabama

George Wallace (D) vs John Sparkman (D) vs William R. King (D) vs Oscar Underwood (D)

Jeff Sessions (R) vs Condoleezza Rice (R) vs Richard Shelby (R) vs Tommy Tuberville (R)

Alaska

William A. Egan (D) vs Tony Knowles (D) vs Mike Gravel (D) vs Ernest Gruening (D)

Sarah Palin (R) vs Lisa Murkowski (R) vs Frank Murkowski (R) vs Sean Parnell (R)

Arizona

Mo Udall (D) vs Krysten Sinema (D) vs Ernest McFarland (D) vs Bruce Babbitt (D)

Barry Goldwater (R) vs John McCain (R) vs Evan Mecham (R) vs John Kyl (R)

Arkansas

Bill Clinton (D) vs Orval Faubus (D) vs Joseph Robinson (D) vs Wesley Clark (D)

Mike Huckabee (R) vs Tom Cotton (R) vs Winthrop Rockefeller (R) vs Asa Hutchison (R)

California

Pat Brown (D) vs Jerry Brown (D) vs Barbara Boxer (D) vs Kamala Harris (D)

Richard Nixon (R) vs Ronald Reagan (R) vs Earl Warren (R) vs John Fremont (R)

Colorado

Gary Hart (D) vs John Hickenlooper (D) vs Mark Udall (D) vs Richard Lamm (D)

Henry M. Teller (R) vs Bill Owens (R) vs John Arthur Love (R) vs Gordon Allott (R)

Connecticut

Joe Liebermann (D) vs Abraham Ribicoff (D) vs Chris Dodd (D) vs Thomas Dodd (D)

Prescott Bush (R) vs Lowell Weicker (R) vs William A. Purtell (R) vs Raymond E. Baldwin (R)

Delaware

Joe Biden (D) vs James A. Bayard Jr (D) vs Thomas F. Bayard (D) vs Thomas F. Bayard Jr (D)

Pete Du Pont (R) vs J. Caleb Boggs (R) vs John J. Williams (R) vs William Roth (R)

Florida

Reubin Askew (D) vs Bob Graham (D) vs George Smathers (D) vs Claude Pepper (D)

Rick Scott (R) vs Marco Rubio (R) vs Jeb Bush (R) vs Ron DeSantis (R)

Georgia

Jimmy Carter (D) vs Stacey Abrams (D) vs Sam Nunn (D) vs Richard Russell Jr (D)

Brian Kemp (R) vs David Perdue (R) vs Sonny Perdue (R) vs Newt Gingrich (R)

Hawaii

Daniel Inouye (D) vs Tulsi Gabbard (D) vs Spark

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

Welcome to the 2021 Colorado Election Discussion thread. Please keep the discussions civil. Below you will find information on the various races within the state. The numbers will be updated until the final ballot is counted.

Colorado Springs held their election on April 6, 2021 and the results are complete.

If you see any suspected coordinated efforts to interfere or spread misinformation regarding the election here on /r/ColoradoPolitics or elsewhere on Reddit the Admins and Moderators of Reddit want you to report it to the Admins to evaluate. Please also refer to their recent post in /r/redditsecurity for more information about how the Reddit Safety team is approaching election integrity, specifically around abuse and content manipulation. While we can’t predict what we might see in the coming days, context is important so the Reddit Safety team can take action anywhere on the site.

2021 School Board District Election

Academy School District 20 Director

Adams 12 Five Star Schools

Aurora Public Schools

Bennett School District - At Large 2 Years

Bennett School District - At Large 4 Years

**Cherry Creek School

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

FEBRUARY 24, 2008

Well, I'm still in Las Vegas. I'm going to a family ward today. I would have chosen a singles ward, but yesterday Gus Searcy expressed mild interest when I mentioned I am Mormon. He said he almost became Mormon once. So I jumped on that opportunity and invited him to come along. So one down and 2 to go on my goal this year of inviting 3 non-members to church! That makes me happy. He would have gotten baptized if it weren't for some missionary telling him he couldn't have cards. That's ridiculous! If fact, I don't know which is more ridiculous, a missionary telling him he'd have to give up his deck of cards to join the church (That's after taking most of the discussions), or Gus choosing a deck of cards over the church. I mean, if he was ready to get baptized, then that would have to mean that he knew the church is true, and if he knew that the church is true, then giving up a deck of cards., it truly required, wouldn't have been a question, no matter how much a part of his career as a magician they were. Other church members have given up far more for the church, and have sacrificed much more. But, to each their own. One day he'll hear the gospel in its fullness.

Not sure what's on the agenda for the rest of the day.

FEBRUARY 25, 2008

Well, I'm still in Las Vegas. It's been a great break from the run of the mill routine. I walked down the strip last night and got a few great photos of some beautiful architecture. Wish I could have got some of the Venetian, but I forgot. I may take some of the Hoover Dam today on my way back. I talked with Travis for a while. He wanted me to drive back last night. He makes it difficult to say no, but I stayed one more night anyway. I'll be headed over to his house later today or tonight. Most likely. We’ll see. A movie night. Sounds good, among other things :).

FEBRUARY 26, 2008

Well, not a bad start to the week. It was a long drive back from Las Vegas. Travis was being extremely impatient, but eventually he got over it. So I raced home, freshened up and headed over there with Tootsie Pops. :) He makes me want to be so naughty. And naughty we were. We went all the way again. It was different this time. He was different. He was tender and sweet and loving. He said he'd been planning and hoping for this. He said he wanted to save the moment and make it last as long as possible. He asked me if felt guilty and I said yes. Then he told me he wanted this because he wanted us to always have something

Christopher Walken

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

Why

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

It was about a weak back.