I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
They were cooked in Greece.
Hi All,
While it's going to be hard to capture all of the most unusual and unexpected sporting upsets, here we try to show off just a few of the truly astounding. If you happened to bet the right way, you would have been in for a brilliant pay off and totally dumbfound the bookies on the other side. Many are still fresh in recent memory, while others are a blast from the past - in no particular order, let's dive in.
Leicester wins the Premier League
To paint the picture, the odds of Leicester winning the title were 5000-to-1 after just battling against relegation in the season before. In a remarkable turnaround they went on to be crowned 2016 champions.
A horse named Upset
This quirky and ironically named horse was part of the Sanford Memorial Stakes near the turn of last century. It had odds of 100-to-1 in the race, up against rivals like Man o' War who had never lost a race. The plucky little horse went on to win.
Mike Tyson vs Buster Douglas
Douglas' odds were about 50 to 1 at the bookmakers, yet he somehow managed to knock out the the heavyweight boxer Tyson in order to secure the world title.
Patriots vs the NY Giants
Back in 2008 the scene was set, New England Patriots had gotten to the game with a perfect season at 19 wins to zero losses. The Super Bowl XLII must have looked fairly secure at this point and a daunting challenge for their opponents, however with just 35 seconds on the clock the Giants snagged the touchdown they needed and snatched victory against all odds.
Greece wins the 2004 Euros
At the beginning Greece was nowhere near the favorite and had no star players of note, however they battled on through the tournament. When they defeated the defending champions France and then the Czech Republic in knockout rounds it came as a huge surprise. They finally finished off Portugal at the finals to take the trophy.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
Pilot on me!!
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
There hasn't been a post all year!
You take away their little brooms
It was about a weak back.
Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
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Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
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French/Finnish art
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Country/Canadian rap
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Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
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Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
