I ordered a multi-meat sandwich at a diner that only had one meat.

What a bunch of Balogne

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Michipotz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
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I was at a sandwich restaurant once. I got a meat and cheese sandwich, and when the waiter asked me what kind of meat I wanted, I pointed to his knee. He didn't know what I meant, so I left.

I guess he did understand that I wanted bologna.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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Why does sandwich meat always look deformed?

Because it is inbred.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PickleFart69
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
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My wife and I were talking about starting a family and all the health things you're supposed to do like not eat processed sliced meats. Unfortunately she currently eats a turkey sandwich most days for her lunch.

I told her she better start trying alternatives soon, it's going to be hard to quit eating her current lunch cold turkey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-stormageddon-
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2018
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What do you call sandwich meat if you put it on your lower leg?

Below knee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/0N3WH0KN0CK5
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2017
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The lunch meat in my sandwich was made from cow shins...

It was below knee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anyeyeball
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2017
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How do meat sandwiches tell each other they'll be back soon?

B-RB's

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hot-Scarf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
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What's Uncle Scar's favorite deli meat to put on his sandwiches?

SalaaaaaaMIIIIIIIIII!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmm10b
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2018
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Interesting breakthroughs in plant-based diets!

Researchers have discovered that when mixed with spices found in popular Hispanic dishes, ground peanuts make a great meat substitute!

It's also been found that an offshoot of the banana family, when fried, makes an awesome faux-fish sandwich!

Craving a frozen treat, but can't handle dairy? Some have found that chilled grapes and prunes can hit that sweet spot in a healthy way!

Keep experimenting with cruelty-free ideas!

TL/DR:

If you like peanut-chiladas, and getting cod from plantains, if you're not into yogurt 'cause you have lactose pains, you could make a lovely delight with some prunes and some grapes. Here's the grub that you've looked for, get that meat off your plate!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chadimus_Prime
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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Dad was in the kitchen cooking when he dropped this one.

He peeked around the corner and asked "Son, do you want an ankle meat sandwich?" to which I replied "A what?" to which he quickly retorted "You know, below-knee? (baloney)."

I don't think I have ever laughed so hard in my life.

Edit: I know the proper spelling is "bologna" but since I have seen both spellings used interchangeably and I know a lot of people DON'T know how to spell it, I used the improper spelling so more people would get the joke. Jeeze.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2014
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Bacon Puns

Why didn’t the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!


Whats green and smells like bacon? Β Kermit the Frog’s finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?


Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.


Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu? Β Kevin Bacon


If you can’t get Swine Flu from eating bacon what can you get? A1: Obesity A2: Heart Disease A3: Hardening of the Arteries


Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? A1: Frankenswine A2: Hamlet Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.


Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.


What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.


Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon. What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.


What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.


How do they get up there? In pigup trucks. What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.


What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.


What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, you’re bacon my heart melt.


What are they warned to watch out for? Pigpockets.


First Carter Page and now Betsy DeVos. Trump’s cabinet is like a game of six degrees of Kevin Bacon except with Russia.


Everything must be wrapped in bacon, including bacon.


If Kevin Bacon doesn’t whisper β€œHere comes the Baconator” before he has sex all my faith in humanity is lost


I’ll acknowledge Canada Day when they finally acknowledge that’s not bacon


If Donald Trump really KNOWS the average WORKER then where are the pics of Trump hungover in 7-Eleven buying bacon in sweat pants?


This guy ordered a vegetarian sandwich and then added bacon. It was like watching someone have a mid-life crisis and then find a cool hobby.


If we don’t build a wall on our northern border, they’ll soon be maple syrup & Canadian bacon trucks on every corner.


I signed an Executive Order to make Saturday morning bacon and eggs and pancakes with triple butter and syrup non-fattening.


My bedroom smells like maple, bacon and beaver…because I’m Canadian.


When the waitress calls you Babycakes you know you’re getting extr

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2017
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What should you use to start a food fight?

Meat brawl sandwich.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/superpond
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2012
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Grabbing some lunch the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.

"Hey dad, I'm going to head out to the store for a sandwich right quick"

"Why? We have turkey and ham in the fridge."

I open the door expecting deli meats. Nope, a 7 lb ham and two 10 lb turkeys.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/esuma10
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2015
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Help with puns for mother's day cards

I'm making Mothers day cards for my mother deli co-workers. I kind of have have an idea for one of them (http://imgur.com/3FKyto0) I want to play on deli themes.

Prima Della is one of the brands we use, others are Hormel, Charlie's Pride, Sara Lee, and Jenny O. In the deli we have a deep frier and hot case, meat/cheese slicers and make sandwiches/salads.

Any fun plays on words for any of those that would make a fun PG-PG13 card? Nothing too vulgar, I work with these ladies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SparkyDogPants
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2014
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