I told him four wheels, a seat and an engine
He was a good Padre
A guy was walking down the beach, eating a frozen waffle, and he dropped it.
They've been charged with crimes against huge manatee.
There's a sign declaring it The Avocado Highway. My wife asked me why it was called that.
I said: "Because it's the pits."
....by conducting a Junior Seance.....
While taking the Tram Tour around the Africa enclosure at the Safari Park we passed a group of Wildebeest.
I turned to my wife and said "I don't remember this group of Wildebeest, they must be Gnu."
...a dirty waffle.
Credit goes to my friend who dropped that earlier today haha
...San Diego.
And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.
San Diego
"They moved to LA" I replied.
(We live in San Diego.)
On the way to the beach I asked him if he thought we were going to a sandy beach, or a rocky beach. He replied with, " A sandy beach, that's why it's called San Diego!"
I was making whipped creams tonight. Since we make our own, we have these little CO2 cartridges that we use to “charge" the whipped cream. These are conveniently called chargers.
I was looking for these charges, even I asked my shift, “Where'd we put the freaking chargers?!" To which he replies, “In a San Diego."
For context, the Chargers are an American football team located in San Diego, California.
What's the opposite of an Okapi?
An Original.
(My buddy who's not even a dad yet made that one up at the Okapi enclosure at San Diego zoo)
Girlfriends Dad to wife : honey we need to take your car charger to the Del Mar races
Wife: why, don't you have one ?
GFD: yeah , but didn't you buy yours in San Diego?
Wife: yeah?
GFD: Then we have to take it, it's a San Diego Charger !
I'm the only one that got it and laughed !
This morning my friend and I were exchanging conversation about what our dad's usually do to prank us on April 1st. My dad always calls and says he was in a horrible car accident and broke a limb. It's never funny, but he laughs and laughs so I go with it. My friends Dad however is a classic Dad-joke type of Dad. This year, my friend tells me: >Friend: My dad said Mr. Lion called for me
>Me: Mr. Lion eh?
>Friend: Yea he gave me a number to call, but I haven't called it yet.
>Me: I'll call!
I get the number from him, and the automated message service for the San Diego Zoo clicks on. It's pun-tastic, a fun, and non aggravating April Fools joke.
... He went to the San Diego Pod Race.
Backstory: We live near a place that makes amazing pulled pork sandwiches. In addition, to having an amazing sandwiches they have a really cool cashier named Diego who we built up a friendly relationship with. Unfortunately, we haven't gone to this sandwich place a while and during this lull Diego left his job.
Me: We really need to get a pulled pork sandwich one of these days.
Fiancee: I don't know. I just wouldn't be the same without Diego there.
Me: So what you're saying is you wouldn't go... Sans Diego?
We don't live in San Diego or anything but we do live in Southern California and I thought it was hilarious.
OK, I'm, the dad, but we were near the San Diego mission and looking for a restaurant. Now, that's a problem since I have some food allergies. After checking about 8 restaurants, the inlaws were starting to get a little bit concerned. I said, "Nope. We'll find one." They said, "What makes you think so?" "I'm a man on a Mission."
Dad: what movie should i order tonight
Mum: well i want to watch the pianist
Dad: that sounds boring
Mum: it won best film at the Cannes film festival
Dad: yeah well how did it go at the bottles film festival?
You have a sandy eggo in San Diego.
san diego
And a lifetime ban at the San Diego Zoo.
A San Diego
And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.
Or you'll have a sandy Eggo in San Diego
And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo
San Diego
