Russell Hagg Puns

Huge shoutout to u/jaylemi for giving me his seal of approval to bring back Waiver Wire Warriors. All player ownership percentages are derived from Yahoo. Players who are less than 80% rostered are only featured and the stats are from the last 14 days.

Hey how's it going everyone, it's been a while since I've posted so I hope y'all are doing well.

For today, I'll be doing something a little different. There won't be a weekly preview from me this week but you can check out the one that u/Phan_ created by clicking here.

I know some of you nerds are in super deep leagues so instead of writing up about 25 players, I created this table to help you guys see who has been the most productive over the last 14 days. I've included categories, such as +/-, PIM, and SHO for those whose leagues are counting those categories. I've also included SH% to help you guys determine whose goal production will be sustainable.

For those who have been following me for the last year, I'm sorry. I know y'all know I'm a big believer in quality content but sacrificing quality for quantity will allow me to help out as many people as I can, whether if they're playing in a deep or shallow league. The issue with writing up 25 players is that they're usually gone by the time you open up your fantasy app. But with +200 players, you'll have a ton of options. Let me know what you think of this idea!

Other than that, I hope this will help y'all! As always, if you have any questions, reach out via the comments/PM or on Twitter @vizionsnaps. School's been really busy and I know I haven't really been active so if it's urgent, just DM me.

Thank you guys for the support, appreciate it as always! If you want to buy me a coffee and help out with my studying, feel free to do so clicking on the link below! <3

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/vizionsnaps

Skaters

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Hello all, another tournament round up from the past weekend. 2 events to talk about, one in the UK and one in Norway. Hopefully the formatting sticks around on the post this time!

Armacon: Norsehammer Open AoS 2021

1 Ole Gunnar Vatland Lumineth Realm-Lords: Zaitrec - 5-0

Allegiance: Lumineth Realm Lords

• Great Nation: Zaitrec
• Mortal Realm: Aqshy
• Grand Strategy: Prized Sorcery
• Triumphs: Indomitable

Leaders Scinari Cathallar (145)**

• General
• Command Trait: Fast Learner
• Artefact: Gift of Celennar
• Extra Spell: Total Eclipse
• Lore of Hysh: Speed of Hysh Scinari Loreseeker (170)*
• Extra Spell: Lambent Light
• Lore of Hysh: Solar Flare Hurakan Windmage (120)**
• Extra Spell: Guiding Flurries
• Lore of the Winds: Transporting Vortex

Battleline 10 x Vanari Auralan Wardens (145)*

• Lore of Hysh: Lambent Light 10 x Vanari Auralan Wardens (145)**
• Lore of Hysh: Ethereal Blessing 10 x Vanari Auralan Wardens (145)**
• Lore of Hysh: Protection of Hysh 20 x Vanari Auralan Sentinels (300)**
• Lore of Hysh: Lambent Light
• Reinforced x 1 20 x Vanari Auralan Sentinels (300)**
• Lore of Hysh: Speed of Hysh
• Reinforced x 1 20 x Vanari Auralan Sentinels (300)**
• Lore of Hysh: Protection of Hysh
• Reinforced x 1

Units 5 x Alarith Stoneguard (120)*

• Diamondpick Hammers

Endless Spells &amp;amp; Invocations Chronomantic Cogs (45) Emerald Lifeswarm (60) Shrine Luminor (0) Core Battalions *Battle Regiment **Battle Regiment

Total: 1995 / 2000 Reinforced Units: 3 / 4 Allies: 0 / 400 Wounds: 116 Drops: 2

2 Lasse Kalberg Daughters of Khaine: Hagg Nar 4-1 Top Table

Allegiance: Daughters of Khaine

• Temple: Hagg Nar
• Mortal Realm: Aqshy
• Grand Strategy: Hold the Line
• Triumphs: Bloodthirsty

Leaders Bloodwrack Medusa (120)*

• General
• Command Trait: Devoted Disciples
• Artefact: The Ulfuri
• Lore of Shadows: Mirror Dance Morathi-Khaine (330)*
• Lore of Shadows: Mindrazor The Shadow Queen (330)*

Battleline 15 x Blood Stalkers (510)*

• Reinforced x 2 5 x Blood Sisters (140)* 5 x Blood Sisters (140)* 20 x Witch Aelves (240)*
• Pairs of Sacrificial Knives
• Reinforced x 1

Units 9 x Khainite Shadowstalkers (120)*

Endless Spells &amp;amp; Invocations Soulsnare Shackles (65)

Core Battalions *Battle Regiment

Total: 1995 / 2000 Reinforced Units: 3 / 4 Allies: 0 / 400 Wounds: 103 Drops: 1

3 Thomas Berg Daughters of Khaine - 4-1

Temple: Khelt Nar

• Grand Stra

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

Last year I went with a minimum of shots but figured this year I would just post the Raw Data. Not sure why none of the advanced stat sites do this, it is easy and I think it is interesting.

For those of you who aren't sure what this is, a shot attempt includes all on target / missed / blocked shots etc. If a player attempted a shot on net that is a shot attempt. Traditional shooting percentage only uses shots on net.

Here is the link to the 2019-2020 season: https://www.reddit.com/r/hockey/comments/i2zws9/true_shooting_percentage_including_all_shot/

2020-2021 Season:

[Removed]

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

It was about a weak back.

BamBOO!

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678