Round Square Puns

You cut corners

The knights that designed it were named Sir Cular and Sir Cumference. Rumor has it they were both obsessed with eating pi.

The meat industry had to cut corners

Here's one from above: ______

I said it was Oaktimus Pine...

It gives them square roots...

My teacher insists that pi r squared is how to calculate. But everyone knows that Pie are round.

Happy pi day!

They’re pointless.

My dad raises rabbit and goes through a lot of hay. As we’re getting a new bale out a truck drives by with big round bales. Me: that would keep you in hay for awhile. D: rabbits can’t eat those. Me: what? Why not? D: not good for them Me:You mean the type of hay D: nope, can’t have those big round ones. (This back and forth keeps going for like ten minute as I suggest why they can’t have them and his just saying no) Me: is there an actual reason why they can’t have that hay? D: (smirks) they won’t get a square meal Me:(floored)…did you just wind me up for like ten minutes to tell me a dad joke??! D: yeah

So the water doesn't hit you sqaure in the face.

π r ² ? Pie are not square! Pie are round-cornbread are square.

I got this joke from my dad.

• Like all cherished things in this covid-crazy world, the O.Henry Museum’s famous free, family friendly celebration of the wit-in-word will take place virtually in cyberspace this year. With an awesome live cast of lively wits and tortured tongues, the online audience will be treated to all the linguistic twists, dramatic turns, and surprise endings they’ve groan to love. Expect to witness wacky word butchers and voracious verbivores from around the globe, all worming their way into your ears. Tongues of tradition, tension and camaraderie make this the premier event for the world's competitive wordplay community
• Brought to you this year by the City of Austin, Brush Square Museums Foundation, and co- sponsored by Austin's very own Fantastic Magic Camp, as well as the internationally renowned podcast, Pun Intensive, The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition will commence Saturday, November 21, 2020
• Preliminary live rounds begin Saturday, November 21, 2020, at 11:00am CST, lasting about 2 hours. Later that evening, live competition resumes at 7:00pm CST with head-to-head prime time heats. - See Pun-Off.com for schedule details, links, and more.

[Austin, TX, November 1, 2020] - Although traditionally held outdoors on a single day in the spring, the first portion 2020 the O. Henry Museum Pun-Off competition known as Punniest of Show was conducted via video in October. Now on Saturday, November 21, 2020, PARD will bring you their most popular second segment, O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition

This free, fun, and family friendly event will take place online this year, but with special twists, turns, and surprise modifications to make it the perfect 2020 event for the world's competitive wordplay community.

The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships have been an Austin institution for 43 years. As usual, the contest will feature a cavalcade of word-class wordsmiths from across the globe, all worming their way into your art. Join and enjoy us as they compete to spontaneously spit out the most absurd words you’ve ever heard.

The event will be live streamed at PunIntensive.com.

Every time we had cornbread for dinner he would say, "pi r squared? Pie are not squared, pie are round. Cornbread are squared."

Last night while we were out running errands, we drove by this place that had a bunch of little storage sheds on display outside. Right next to this business was a karate school.

My wife says, "Why would the karate school have all of those sheds in front of it?"

I respond, "Honey, those sheds are square. If they belonged to the karate school, they would be round-houses."

We pass a farm and my dad says:

Dad: hey did you know the FDA is banning those round bails of hey!

Me: No! What? Why? (I was legitimately concerned)

Dad: Yeah! Apparently cows weren't getting a square meal....

Me: ...sighs

Backstory: I had bought a set of nice Nespresso coffee cups for my parents for Christmas (original, I know). But these aren't your standard, chunky, ceramic Christmas mugs with snowflakes or Santas, but actually something for the type of coffee fanatics that spend their money on Clooney's kind of blend, what else?

So - having dessert; cake, coffee, the whole shabang.

Me, inspecting one of said cups: "I'm glad I actually found a set that doesn't stay in the cupboard all year like literally every other mug you've ever gotten from anyone."

Mom, eating cake: "Mm-hmm."

Me: "Like, these are actually really nice. I like the pattern around the base and how they're round and square at the same time."

Mom, between bites: "They're very nice."

Suddenly, Dad, eating his cake completely silently up until this point: "You should take a picture of them. Might make for a pretty cool mugshot."

Cue me barely managing to swallow my coffee, Mom chuckling into her cup and both our subsequent groans

I grew up in Vermont. Around my town were plenty of dairy farms, inviting the always wonderful manure aroma. An aroma that nearly forced my father to inhale deeply through his nose, saying, "Ah, fresh Vermont air!"

That's an excellent Dad one liner, as are most dad jokes, but he had another great one that I'm getting to.

You see, the hay bails we saw growing up in Vermont were mostly the cube variety. Hay bailing technology at the time created cubes of hay, so that's what dotted the fields they'd graze in.

As we grew older, we starting noticing the now more common round bails of hay. Dad was not pleased.

I asked him what the problem was or, at least, what his problem was with the round bails. The best jokes are set up when you ask for them.

So, he tells me. New farming technology allowed the round bails to be created more efficiently. They used less fuel in the bailers, took less passes on the field to gather the hay. They used less twine, and even though they didn't fill a truck as well as square bails, there was still a net monetary gain from the efficiency gained elsewhere.

However, studies were done on the bails. The cows approached them differently due to the different alignment of surface area. The way the rain hit the bails and rolled off as opposed to soaking in leached nutrients out of the hay. Some cows even mistook the shape of bail for another animal, and approached them so nervously that their heart rates were known to raise significantly; such a rate that a tinge of acidity could be tasted by those in the know in their milk.

What all of this amounted to... is that with the new round bails of hay, the cows just weren't getting a good square meal.

Every time we drive past a field covered in bales of hay;

Mom- See those round bales of hay?

Kids- Yes.. ^* ^sighs ^*

Mom- They have been banned in Canada,

Kids- Orly? Why's that? ^^we ^^have ^^only ^^heard ^^it ^^a ^^thousand ^^times..

Mom- Because cows need three square meals a day! ^* ^laughs ^*

There was a boy who was the first in his family to go down the mountain to high school. After the first day, his pappy asked him what he learned. B - Well, pa, there's this subject called mathematics. D - OK, say something in mathematics for me. B - Pi r square! D - You won't be going back to high school no more. Everybody knows pie are round. Cobbler are square.

A student is in math class, and the teacher is explaining some basic geometry. The teacher says, "The relationship between a circle and its radius can be calculated by 'pi r squared'". The student raises his hand, confused. "That doesn't seem right, Ma'am." The teacher asks what he means, and he says "Pi r square? No, Pi r ROUND. Cake r square."

My wife is 30 weeks pregnant. When she got up from the couch, she winced in pain. Being the caring husband that I am, I asked what was wrong. She responds with "oh just round ligament pain". She glared when I asked how her square ligaments were doing.

A lady on the plane had a round patch behind her ear. I told my wife

Me - I think that woman has a dramamine patch on.

Wife - I think dramamine patches are square and that one is round

Me - maybe it's an off brand patch.. Maybe it's called a dramanice patch. You know like an equate brand?

She just looked at me and put her ear buds back in.

Driving around in the country

Grandpa- points to a field full of square bails of hay and says, "did you hear that farmers aren't gonna make square bails anymore?

Me- why not?

Grandpa- they're not a well rounded meal.

Me- sigh....

Anytime you drive by round bales of hay. Turn to your passenger and tell them they gov't is making them illegal.

passenger: Why?

You: Cause a cow cant get a square meal.

Today in Calc. class, we were going over a word problem, when the need for the area of a circle formula came up. My teacher asked us, "So, what's the formula?" to which we replied, "Pi r squared." She then remarked, "I think pies are rounded"

I'm sitting at work doing things and I get a text from my dad.

>" What's the area of a circle?"

Like a good son, I reply back to him. >"pi*r^2"

Without missing a beat, he sends back. >"No. Cake are squared, pie are round."

My coworkers looked at be funny after I sighed loudly and chuckled.

"Pie is round, cake is square! hahahaha". Still makes me laugh.

Professor: "What is the formula for the area of a circle?"

Student: "pi r squared."

Professor: " No, pi are round. Cornbread is square."

A kid comes home from school. His dad asks him what he was studying. "Oh, geometry. You know, 'pi r^2', that kinda thing." His dad says, "Well shucks, I gotta get you outta that school. Everyone knows pie are round; cake are squared.

Driving through hayfields and we pass a couple fields with larger round bales of hay, not the normal square ones.

dad: You know they're outlawing these round hay bales, so we should be seeing any more of them soon.

dad pauses and waits for someone to bite

victim: really, how come?

dad: They found that cows weren't getting a square meal.

love you dad, you goof.

No, cornbread are squared. Pie is round!

No, cornbread are square. Pie are round.

Be there or be square. Because you are not a round.