Kenny Rogers was driving along the highway and discovered his rear wobbly tire popped off his truck and rolled down the middle of the road. That's when he broke out in song...

"You picked a fine time to leave me, Loose Wheel!"

👍︎ 2
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📅︎ Jan 25 2019
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ALWAYS read the label!

Jake returns home after a long days work, finds the cupboards bare and thinks "that's strange we went shopping this week". He goes to the garbage can to find jars of peanut butter, yogurt, pill bottles, assorted food they've just bought discarded. He asks "Honey why is all the food in the garbage?" he finds her watching TV in the living room she says "Roger is dead", stunned he runs to the backyard to find their pet seal dead. He runs inside shocked and says "wow that's terrible, but why did you throw out all the food?!" she replies "They containers all said DO NOT USE IF SEAL IS BROKEN".

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👤︎ u/ph00p
📅︎ Jun 16 2020
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Texting walkie talkie lingo is confusing.

My dad texted me to remind me to turn in my rent, he thinks I'll forget something important like that I guess. I didn't respond from his initial text message so he quickly sent me another

"Please confirm. Roger over and out."

I responded saying "Thank you!" he was clearly not happy with this and said

"You're supposed to say "Roger..Over" at the end of your communication. Over"

I replied "Roger I love you. Over"

My dad responded with "My name is Dad, not Roger. What the Hell? Over" ...

I will never understand his humor.. But it makes me laugh.

👍︎ 37
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👤︎ u/LynaM
📅︎ Nov 25 2013
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Never seizes to amaze. Even over texts

Me: You sure I have to go tomorrow?

Dad: Yes. The family is expecting you. Just talk to David and he can help you out.

Me: Roger That

Dad: No his name is David

👍︎ 7
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📅︎ Jul 19 2016
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Roger Federer and Ron Paul are playing tennis

Roger Federer and Ron Paul are playing tennis. The set is close and Federer has serve. His first delivery sailed wide, but his second serve clipped the net and just barely landed on the line. The umpire called a let.

Ron Paul started arguing with the chair ump, he was positive that the serve was out, resulting in a double fault.

Needless to say, Ron Paul is vehemently against the Federer Re-serve.

👍︎ 4
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👤︎ u/kevo31415
📅︎ Mar 20 2013
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