Elsa (05L - Northern Atlantic): Preparations Discussion

Overview


Thursday, 8 July β€” 2:00 AM Eastern Daylight Time

As Tropical Storm Elsa makes its final approach to southern Cuba this morning, a lot of people have had questions about how the storm will affect their travel to Florida in the coming days. Please use this discussion thread for these questions.

Current situation


Tropical Storm Elsa is moving northward along the western coast of Florida. As the storm approaches landfall on Wednesday morning, heavy rainfall is expected to spread northward across the peninsula, extending the threat of flash flooding to northern parts of the state through Wednesday.

Current advisories


The following watches and warnings are in effect:

A Tropical Storm Warning remains in effect for the following areas:

  • Little River Inlet, SC to Great Egg Inlet, NJ

  • Pamlico Sound, NC

  • Albemarle Sound, NC

  • Chesapeake Bay (south of North Beach)

  • Tidal Potomac River (south of Cobb Island)

  • Delaware Bay (south of Slaughter Beach)

A Tropical Storm Watch remains in effect for the following areas:

  • Great Egg Inlet to Sandy Hook, NJ

  • Long Island (East Rockaway to Port Jefferson Harbor) (around the eastern tip)

  • New Haven, CT to Sagamore Beach, MA

  • Cape Cod

  • Nantucket

  • Martha's Vineyard

  • Block Island

Federal resources


How to Prepare for a Hurricane (PDF)

This guide from the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) is designed to help you properly prepare for a hurricane and know how to protect yourself during and after one.

Evacuation Guidelines

FEMA's Ready.gov website can help you plan ahead for the possibility that you will have to evacuate your area on the onset of a hurricane.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/giantspeck
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2021
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SERIOUS: This subreddit needs to understand what a "dad joke" really means.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anywhereiroa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walk into a blood donation clinic.

The nurse asked the rabbit, β€œwhat is your blood type?”

β€œI am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snc8698
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2022
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TGNY 100 - Babby's first 100 miler

Race Information

Name: TGNY 100

Date: June 19-20, 2021

Distance: ~100 miles

Location: New York, NY

Smashrun: https://smashrun.com/katie.smith/run/25985387/tro3oxhh This file is better than the Strava one because of the combination issues (yay stryd)

Strava: https://www.strava.com/activities/5505142903

Website: https://www.tgny100.com/info

Time/goals: wait and see

The story of this race started 2 years ago. Amy (one of my very closest friends who I have put more than a thousand miles underfoot with) and Larry (a local training partner who is a total long distance badass) did this race together. Amy has lived in Brooklyn and was raised in Westchester so had a lot of familiarity with the course. She and Larry have so much fun doing this race and on some of our training runs they tell me about it. It sounds fun and something I’d like to do one day.

2020 rolls around, I’m not even following this race – but it understandably gets cancelled, there are a lot of deferrals, but come late 2020 there are some 33 spots left and they decide to do a lotto for those spots for 21. Amy had already deferred a 2020 spot so she’s in and I realize this might be our only chance to ever do this race together, something I knew was important to me. So I sign up for the Lotto and in late December I found out I got in. I’m elated but also terrified, as the furthest I’ve ever done up to this point is a little over 100k, about 63 and change.

The race is 100 miles all over NYC. I’ve been to NYC, like most tourists I’ve only spent time in Manhattan with occasional blips in Brooklyn. So I’m excited to see the city in a way I’d never do otherwise.

Training:

As far as training I am already a decently high mileage baseline runner, but instead of usual 65-70 mpw I worked in some 90 mile weeks. This was done mostly by making sure I got in a decently long run 20-30 on a Saturday followed by a 10-20 the next day.

My biggest concern about this race was the heat. Of course I respect the distance, but for me respecting the distance came in the form of making sure I didn’t overheat because even at a shorter distance that would’ve been a nail in a coffin for me. As we look at the forecast it’s going to be the hottest day or nearly hottest day in NY yet this year – great.

Pre-race:

I get to NYC and get to the hotel and Amy has already checked

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kt_m_smith
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2021
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I’ve got this disease where I can’t stop making airport puns.

The doctor says it terminal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xIR0NPULSE
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2022
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Just because it's a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CzarcasmRules
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
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Blind Girl Here. Give Me Your Best Blind Jokes!

Do your worst!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leckzsluthor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2022
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I heard that by law you have to turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden.

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justshtmypnts
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2022
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Puns make me numb

Mathematical puns makes me number

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tadashi4
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2022
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So my mom is getting her foot cut off today.. (really)

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slimybirch
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2022
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Petition to ban rants from this sub

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drak0ni
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2022
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.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SupremePalash
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2022
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French fries weren’t cooked in France.

They were cooked in Greece.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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This subreddit is 10 years old now.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/frexyincdude
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
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Why does Spider-Man's calendar only have 11 months?

He lost May

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toku-Nation
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2022
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You've been hit by
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mordrathe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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My 4 year oldest favourit joke, which he very proudly memorized and told all his teachers.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smoffatt34920
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
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I'm sick of you guys posting dumb wordplay in here for awards and upvotes.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/diggitygiggitycee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
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Girlfriend got me good. Never been more proud of her.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mannheimd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2022
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Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies πŸ˜‚

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vegetable-Acadia
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
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What starts with a W and ends with a T

It really does, I swear!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PsychedeIic_Sheep
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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My wife left me because I couldn’t stop doing impressions of pasta

And now I’m cannelloni

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bluestratmatt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
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Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete?

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eoussama
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2022
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Steve JOBS would have made a better President than Donald Trump

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ok-Ingenuity4838
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
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I just flew in from Chernobyl

And boy are my arms legs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JhopkinsWA
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
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So 2 trees got arrested in the town I live...

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/K1ll47h3K1n9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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No gains
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ridi86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
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I was almost upset that my coffee tasted like dirt today

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scarf_spheal
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2022
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How eggs-traordinary
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rix27_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
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What is the scariest tree?

BamBOO!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/K1ll47h3K1n9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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What is a a bisexual person doing when they’re not dating anybody?

They’re on standbi

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toby-the-Cactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2022
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Geometry sucks
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kash30
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2022
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Duckduckgo
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πŸ‘€︎ u/findmebatman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2022
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My ten-year-old daughter came up with this at dinner tonight: What do you get if put a copy of Macbeth on top of a dictionary?

A play on words.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ah1887
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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A queen size statement.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flight-less
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
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Did you know all dogs are made up of only 3 elements?

Calcium, nickel, neon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/redneckvet
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2022
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Orion's belt
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mordrathe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2022
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Geddit? No? Only me?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shampy311
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2021
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My son, Luke, loves how I named our kids after Star Wars characters...

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
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A coworker named Celcius recently retired from my company, so they hired a guy called Kelvin to replace him.

He’s the new temp.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SolicitedTitPics
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2022
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I wanna hear your best airplane puns.

Pilot on me!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paulie_Felice
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2022
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E or ß?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amazekam
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2022
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My fencing opponent laughed at me for bringing a block of cheddar to a sword fight.

Until he discovered it was extra sharp.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2022
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Which actor drives the least?

Christopher Walken

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TR1771N
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?

Nothing, he was gladiator.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rj104
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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Pun intended.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sharmaji1301
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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C, Eb, and G walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "Sorry, no minors”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlueMageTheWizard
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2022
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When I was a single man, I had loads of free time.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2022
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My 7 year old daughter just told me this one. I'm so proud. What did the duck say when he bought chapstick?

Put it on my bill

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigRedHusker_X
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2022
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What do you call a woman who’s really good at darts?

Amy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cinema_King
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2022
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