Marry her faster
πŸ‘︎ 15k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RobMash11
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Best rock puns?
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spacey-spice
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I think I'm going to open a store that sells rocks...

When we have special promotions, I can make a commercial on the radio that says "don't take this shale for granite!"

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mkay1911
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2016
🚨︎ report
Tree: Hey, Boulder, what do you think I should be when I grow up? Boulder: You would make a wonderful bedroom furniture set.

Tree: Yes. Yes I wood. Thanks Boulder, you rock.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/baconaboot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I was walking through a quarry…

I said to the foreman, β€œThat sure is a big rock!”

β€œBoulder,” he corrected me.

So I stuck out my chest andΒ shouted,Β β€œTHAT SURE IS A BIG ROCK!!”

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RobRoy333
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
The Blitz of Puns

It really grinds my gears when people say stick-shift is obsolete.

Most people like their music bass-boosted, but it seems like too much treble.

When an astronaut drinks tea, he takes a big space-sip.

The best electricity puns are live wires. Coppers really don’t know how to resist these in a coil. If you make enough of this type of pun you can really blow their fuses. You need to be smart about how you conduct these so you don’t overload your capacitors.

The only kind of rap I like is the wrapping paper on gifts.

Scissors always cut to the point.

Airplane puns always fly overhead. You have to be careful so you don’t stall out. Always use better judgement so you nose how to dive. When used correctly, this pun classification can really propel to infinity and beyond. However, if misused, the fall from grace is full of turbulence.

When working with electricity puns always make sure to be grounded to prevent shocking results.

Mr. Tea says, ”Don’t be a fool, stay in school!”

i c e i c e w a t e r

Architecture is an aspiring career path.

β€˜Pun’ puns don’t add up. The are starting to get negative receptions.

I’ll do algebra. I’ll even do calculus. But graphing is where I draw the line.

Plants should always rooted in the ground.

Never argue with people when they are right or nobody will be left hanging out with you.

Rocks make boulder moves. This means they are pelite and not jagged. Don’t take these puns for granite.

Cheese puns are grate because you don’t have to ask for parmesan to use them.

Eskimos have cold personality. It is an ice society, but some of their history chills my spine.

My dog died a few years ago. It was really ruff.

I am not a fan of wind turbines.

Life is like driftwood. You never know where you will float.

Christmas lights stick together. When one goes out, they all do.

Puns about communism are only funny if everyone gets them.

Rocket scientists cannot fuel around or something bad can happen.

A baker is someone who kneads to make baked goods.

I sometimes wear stripes to avoid being spotted.

Sponges are great at absorbing liquids.

Contrary to the name, relationships have nothing to do with boats.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zmanofdoom95
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Having a dirt yard instead of grass is a bold move...

But having a giant rock is boulder.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hailiar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Rocked this one while waiting for number to be called at DMV

Son's taking permit test today and while waiting to be called we watched some "interesting" facts they put on the tv screen.

Son points out, hey dad look Nevada's official state rock is Sandstone.

Me: I feel they could have made a boulder choice.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SFAQL
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Where did runaway teenage Medusa go?

Last seen her rocking this gorgeous outfit at that Boulder City monumental gig with a bunch of stoners around.

Man, she was just stunning.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheese_Cadavre
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Went rock climbing this weekend...

I asked the kids: Which one is braver, the big rock or the mountain?

The big rock: It's a little boulder.

The kids walked away. Sigh.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nerd_of_gods
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
🚨︎ report
What advice do you give to a rock that's dating? cc:my 20-year old girl officemate

You need to be a little boulder.

You gotta admit, that joke's rock solid, right?

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jonastheokay
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2016
🚨︎ report
I started working at a quarry

I said to the foreman, β€œThat sure is a big rock!” β€œBoulder.” So I stuck out my chest andΒ shouted,Β β€œTHAT SURE IS A BIG ROCK!!”

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MookieV
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.