The funeral director was asking us what we think Mum should wear in her casket.
Mum always loved to wear sarongs (fabric wraps that go around the torso and drape downward a bit like a long skirt would), so my uncle suggested that she wear a sarong in there.
The funeral director looked a bit confused, as did some of our family members, to which my uncle added:
"What's sarong with that?"
I started laughing like an idiot. He was proud of it too. The funeral director was rather shocked. We assured her, and our more proper relatives, that Mum would've absolutely loved the joke (which is very true).
His delivery was perfect. I'll never forget the risk he took. We sometimes recall the moment as a way help cushion the blows of the grieving process.
--Edit-- I appreciate the condolences. I'm doing well and the worst is behind me and my family. But thanks :)
--Edit-- Massive thanks for all the awards and kind words. And the puns! Love 'em.
I would have a daughter
But Bill kept the Windows
True story; it even happened last night. My 5-year-old son walks up behind me and out of the blue says, "hey."
I turn to him and say, "yeah, kiddo? What's up?"
He responds, "it's dead grass."
I'm really confused and trying to figure out what's wrong and what he wants from me. "What? There's dead grass? What's wrong with that?"
.
.
.
He says, totally straight-faced, "hay is dead grass," and runs off.
You officially hit rock bottom
And then you will all be sorry.
Now it’s syncing.
Hello! To celebrate the new year I have decided to do the annual tradition of attempting to predict the movies coming out this year for consideration of the oscars in the following year. This list includes films that have finished filming/current post-production, currently filming, or starting to film in 2021. I'm almost certain that some of these movies will not be released in 2021 or will be delayed to 2022 and so on, but this is just a bit of fun to see how wrong this prediction will be. Here we go...
Best Picture:
1. Killers of the Flower Moon
2. Babylon
3. Nightmare Alley
4. Untitled Paul Thomas Anderson Project
5. The Tragedy of Macbeth
6. Amsterdam
7. Dune
8. The French Dispatch
9. Elvis
10. West Side Story
11. Gucci
12. Don’t Look Up
13. Annette
14. Untitled Noah Baumbach Film
15. The Power of The Dog
16. Armageddon Time
17. Maestro
18. Next Goal Wins
19. Blonde
20. Three Thousand Years of Longing
21. Sunset Boulevard
22. The Last Duel
23. In the Heights
24. The Northman
25. King Richard
26. Stillwater
27. C'mon C'mon
28. The Card Counter
29. Spencer
30. The Way of the Wind
31. The Harder They Fall
32. Don't Worry, Darling
33. Old
34. Ruin
35. Parallel Mothers
36. Benedetta
37. The Nightingale
38. After Yang
39. Those Who Wish Me Dead
40. Red, White and Water
41. Journal for Jordan
42. Cyrano
43. Untitled Nora Fingscheidt Project
44. Dear Evan Hansen
45. Respect
46. Belfast
47. Tick, Tick... Boom
48. A Hero
49. Mothering Sunday
50. Swan Song
51. Decision to Leave
52. The Lost Daughter
53. Munich
54. Untitled Tom George Film
55. Official Competition
56. Triangle of Sadness
57. Harry Haft
58. The Big Goodbye
59. Bergman Island
60. Memoria
61. Born to Be Murdered
62. 12 Mighty Orphans
63. Passing
64. Every Note Played
65. Luca
66. Last Night in Soho
67. Pinocchio
68. The Eyes of Tammy Faye
69. The Humans
70. Untitled Peter Farrelly Movie
Best Director:
1. Martin Scorsese - Killers of the Flower Moon
2. Damien Chazelle - Babylon
3. Guillermo Del Toro – Nightmare Alley
4. *Paul Thomas Anderson -
... keep reading on reddit ➡He replied, "Well, stop going to those places then!"
I will find you. You have my Word.
She said how do you know he was headed to work?
“thank you for your cervix.”
...sails are going through the roof.
Made me smile
Mods said I'm a cereal reposter...
A taxi
But now I stand corrected.
Wait. Sorry, wrong sub.
Wookie mistake.
Theoretical Fizz-ics
Because you can’t ‘C’ in the dark
I said, “That makes two of us.”
so I had to ground him.
He's doing better currently.
And conducting himself properly.
An assassin
