The Queen Mary & The Queen Elizabeth 2
Since you guys like one liners, I thought you’d live two liners.
Mary Queen of Scots. My favorite one, but She was found guilty of high treason and the Head of the Monarchy was then..
I once went to an open air Queen concert.
The performance was stopped half way through due to thunderbolts and lightning....
Very, very frightening....
If Mary is the mother of Jesus and Jesus is the lamb of God
Does that mean that Mary had a little lamb?
The Titanic II is a modern-day replica of the RMS Titanic and is scheduled to set sail in 2022. It's creators do not believe it will relive the tragedy of it's predecessor because
that was an ice-olated incident.
How does a bee annoy its queen?
Mary was 8 months pregnant when she was spotted partying at the club
Her friends saw her and asked, "Mary, what are YOU doing here??"
Mary said, "I get knocked up, but I get down again."
What's Queen Elizabeth's most hated way to have venison?
What is your favourite breakfast food?
What sound does Marie Kondo's pet frog make?
"Rid-v-it . . . Rid-v-it."
What prehistoric animal was the queen of disco?
Kids these days just aren’t familiar with Queen’s music like they used to be.
At the weekend, I like to play chess with elderly men in the park. But it's becoming increasingly harder..
..to find exactly 32 of them.
Roses are red the queen wears a crown
Never gonna give up never gonna let you down
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
-Mary, where are the kids?
-In French.
-Mary, ou sont les enfants?
(It's a classic dad joke that makes a little more sense in my language).
Mary was born without a uterus
It was immaculate contraception
If Queen Elizabeth farts during dinner, all the other guests are supposed to pretend as if nothing happened.
Noble gases have no reaction.
My aunt Marie has been keeping track of her frozen dinner purchases.
It's Marie's Marie Callender's calendar.
What's the secret of the Queen's long life?
Why is it pronounced "Bri'ish" if you're from Britain?
Because they drank the 't'
The queen liked my girlfriend so much, she immediately made her an honorary member of the royal family...
She was really empressed!
I made this She's got of lumps and bumps but I'm overall happy she's finnished kings, queens, and non-binary beans I present to you, my Les-bee-ian 😂🐝❤️🧡🤍💗
The Queen is immortal, it's not a joke
Coz a pawn would just go to the end of Britain and respawn as the Queen!
I decided I want to do some more exercise after listening to Queen.
I want to ride my bicycle.
Season 2 of the Queen’s Gambit will have Beth Harmon move to Prague.
The chess playing main character wants a Czech mate
When REM met The Queen, she held up a stamped envelope and then said...
"That's me in the corner."
How did Mary know baby Jesus was 6 lbs. 3 oz. at birth?
She gave him a weigh in a manger.
What do you call Mary J Blige’s overly accommodating Irish cousin?
What did the Queen Bee say to the worker bees who were fighting?
She asked them to bee-hive
In a beehive, after the queen bee gives birth to the little baby bees, which bees are responsible for feeding the babies?
Why is England described as being a wet country?
The Queen has reigned over it for decades
Why couldn’t Mary and Joseph attend the online conference?
There was no zoom at the inn.
what do you call a stoner queen?
I once saw a guy playing Dancing Queen on a didgeridoo.
What did the man say to the Queen when she had allergies?
I don’t think Mary and Joesph ever got a divorce
It was a pretty stable relationship
I got fired from my job at Dairy Queen
Because I refused to work on sundaes
I dreamed I met a long snake-like fish who had been knighted by the queen.
What did the queen say when a fellow threw some cheese at her?
I broke two queen CDs earlier...
...now i want to break free
Spice Puns
I'm looking to make puns for all my spice jars. Can you help fill in some of the blanks, or have any better suggestions for the ones I've already chosen?
https://preview.redd.it/zkfdnp3tas071.png?width=468&format=png&auto=webp&s=b99b69e8e6b308a8982ac99b967043c08b7cca52
https://preview.redd.it/ibq7m8opas071.png?width=468&format=png&auto=webp&s=7216c8349e46144c13a069c4f3bed59c078d39aa
If Queen Elizabeth farts during dinner, the other guests are supposed to pretend like nothing happened.
Noble gases have no reaction.
What do you call Mary J Blige’s overly accommodating Irish cousin?
Why were Mary and Joseph not able to join a conference call?
Because there was no Zoom at the Inn!
Mary gave birth to Jesus in a manger
He is reportedly in a stable condition
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