As always, thanks to BlueFishCake.
Part 3: Crumb
Chapter 21: No Bars
Isaac sat at the big table, glaring at the flat brick of glass before him. If his father could see him with a phone inside his own house… He grimaced. This was one of the costs of keeping his little community free and unmolested. Another, far worse price was dealing with the other party of the conversation.
“My dear lady,” he had no idea if the speaker was a man or a woman, but given they were Shil’vati, it was easy to assume, “it’s not a matter of whether I have the product or not, or even if I want to give it to your people. I am telling you, quite simply, that you cannot have it tomorrow. I need time to prepare it for transfer. Do you really think I leave it sitting around on pallets waiting to be shipped out?” The truth was, of course, he did keep it on pallets, and it would take very little time to ship it out, but that wasn’t the point. Give in to an unreasonable demand, just once, and that became the new expectation, and next time she’d make a new unreasonable demand. Besides, he wanted all traces of their visitors long gone before he let any of her scum into his valley. He waited.
“You misunderstand.” The neutral tone of the translation program grated on his ears. It was bad enough talking to an object like it was a person. Having some soulless automaton relay his words and the response back and forth, converting to and from the alien tongue, was almost more than he could stand. “I only need a sample of the product. Enough to fit in one small Human transport. I swear on the throne of the Empress, you will have ample warning before I require the bulk transferred.”
“And I am telling you it is impossible. We do not like outsiders here and my people are especially distrustful after the last incident with your… employees. When we are ready for you, I will let you know, and you will be on your way before anyone even knows you were here. But mark my words, your friends will be killed if they arrive without warning.”
“Oh, Isaac, but what about the warm welcome you gave to the man and woman, and my sister Shil’vati today?”
Isaac swallowed hard. Of course the alien would know, somehow. He kept his voice level, just in case emotion might come through on the translation. “They’re dead. As I just told you, my people don’t like outsiders, especially outsiders who arri
... keep reading on reddit ➡Here's a list of hiking areas I've checked out lately via public transit, ordered from west to east. May it inspire my fellow carless neighbors to hit the trails! If you know of a trail worth busing/railing to, add it to the list.
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Malibu - Escondido Canyon & Falls
Transit stop: PCH / Paradise Cove
Walk: ½ mile east on PCH to Winding Way, ¾ mile north on Winding Way
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Malibu - Solstice Canyon
Transit stop: PCH / Corral Canyon
Walk: ¼ mile north on Corral Canyon and Solstice Canyon
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Malibu - Corral Canyon
Transit stop: PCH / Corral Creek Bridge
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Topanga - Backbone Trail east - Trippett Ranch / Musch Camp / Eagle Rock
Transit stop northbound: Pine Tree Circle
Transit stop southbound: General Store
Walk: ½ mi north on Topanga Canyon Bl to Entrada
Note: Topanga Beach Bus schedule. Santa Monica bus stop locations on the schedule are unclear. There are two stops: on [4th between
... keep reading on reddit ➡Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Buenosdillas
They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
[Removed]
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
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French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
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Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
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Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Bob
When I got home, they were still there.
There hasn't been a post all year!
