Did you hear about the anti-abortion potato named Richard?

They call him Dick tater for life.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jester57
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
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Did you hear about Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend breaking into an animal shelter and releasing a bunch of huskies into the wild??

Turns out it was The Who that let the dogs out

πŸ‘︎ 85
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πŸ‘€︎ u/No-Dane-No-Gain
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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my friend richard bought a new house today

if you ask me its kinda a dick move

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/epicgamer927
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
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What Is Roger Federer's Favorite Time Of The Day?

Around 10ish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EDMHouseNetwork
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
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Did you hear the one about Austin Richard Post? Oh, of course have.

This is a Re-Post Malone joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iMakeCrap
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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How do you get 'Dick' from Richard?

You ask nicely

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πŸ‘€︎ u/multiplefroggs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
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Siri just said β€œI am serious, and don’t call me Shirley.”

Turns out I’d left my phone in Airplane mode.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eternal_Punshine
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
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Hello, my name is Richard, and I have a bad knee..

You can call me Limp Dick

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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Wok
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spinnaker190
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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What did Richard say to his friend Ted?

I'm addicted.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sergeantsexxy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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What is Richard Simmons doing in my house?

I didn't in-vitamin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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Richard Osman with an absolute peach imgur.com/esZMaHi
πŸ‘︎ 150
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VisualShock1991
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
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My son asked, β€œHow do you get Dick from Richard?”

I said, β€œWell, you gotta go to dinner first.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yankeefan00
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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Exactly 50% of Roger Federer’s name is β€˜er’!

That’s it, that’s the joke! ;)

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheIndrajitKar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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I'm thinking of entering a talent show. I have two ideas for my act. Either a Blues Traveler cover band, or an impression of Richard Nixon.

I'm hoping to win, by Hook or by Crook.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/epitomizer1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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What do you call awesome guys named Richard?

Fabrics

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MadLoathe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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Why did Kenny Rogers go to the hair salon?

He just dropped in to see what condition his conditioner was in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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Can you believe California is having an electric shortage? Richard Ricity should run for governor

This way the people can elect Ricity.

The campaign would be "Elect Rick".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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I have lots of Kenny Rogers jokes, but in light of his recent passing, I won't tell them.

You gottta know when to hold 'em.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/REVDR
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
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Robert hated his nickname and longed to be discombobulated.
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsCreepMeowt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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For Frick sakes Richard
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/please_be-gentle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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Roger Daltrey must be very proud

The whole world is talking about The WHO.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mickets
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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How do we know Richard Pryor wasn’t a virgin birth?

His mom had Dick Pryor.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brainsonastick
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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I caught my friend Richard hitting on my wife.

It was a real Dick move.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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GF- β€œWhy do we need walkie-talkies? Our relationship is over.”

BF- β€œ Our relationship is what? Over.”

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/syniss
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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VIAGRA....It won't make you James Bond....

.....but, it would make you Roger Moore.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
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To be honest I don’t like cocaine

I just like the smell of it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rubNTugInc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
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Richard Plier
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πŸ‘€︎ u/loosecashews
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
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I once knew a guy named Richard Richards.

He was at least two times more of a Dick than anyone else I know.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaine_Raye
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
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I helped my friend Richard relocate

He said it was a Dick move

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Warriorcatv2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
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Roger roger
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sojiboji
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
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Complaining about someone to Richard

That guy sucks Dick!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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How do you get Dick from Richard, anyway? (You ask him nicely, that's how.)
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PG4044
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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Did you hear that Mick Jagger and Keith Richards had a huge falling out because Mick wouldn't stop speaking in broken Spanish?

When asked about it in an interview, Mick confirmed that "The Rolling Stones gather no mas"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_robototoro
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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*This is a literal Dad Joke my father used to tell when I was a kid about 30 years ago. He's almost 80 now and it still makes him laugh.* - So, there was this man named James Fart. Everybody made fun of him since he was very young. "James Fart! James Fart" the bullies used to make him cry...

He came of age among this suffering and at 21 was finally able to legally change his name. He arrived at the government office where he presented himself:

-I'm James Fart and I want to legally change my name!

Of course they laughed at him (everybody did) but eventually they all settled and came around to the situation.

-Ok, so... your current name is.. Β·chucklesΒ· James Fart... I'm sorry, I just...

-I know, everybody has been laughing at my name since as long as I can remember.

After a long and tedious process, everything is ready.

-Very well, sorry for the delays but you know how hard this protocols are. The good news: you are no longer "James Fart", what name do you want instead?

-Charles Fart.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gone11gone11
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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Picture Perfect Puns

Ancient Scot Richard's Warriors: Dick's Picts

Loki - Trick pics (from my brother)

Pictures of an Adam Sandler movie: "Click" pics.

Pictures of a Kaitlin Olson character: The Mick's pics

Screenahots of these comments: Wit pics

Leaky faucet: drip pics

X1 Cumberbatch photos: Benedict pics

X2 Pope photos: Benedict pics (also works)

X3 Turncoat snaps: Benedict pics

X4 "Wong" image: Benedict pics

Legal command: Writ pics

Pictures of twigs: Stick pics

A Christmas Story scene: lick pics

Pictures of a Winter Saint: Nick pics

Syringe photos: prick pics (from a friend)

Sporting goods store images: Dick's pics.

Dan Harmon cartoon character: Rick's pics.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndySkibba
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
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All credit to Norville Rogers aka Shaggy
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πŸ‘€︎ u/livelifehf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
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Why do pirates always end up buying the Jolly Roger for their ships instead of choosing other designs?

It’s the only one that’s always on sail....

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sethbacca
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
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I don't think Jeremy Clarkson or Richard Hammond know what they're doing...

But James May

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Propane13
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2017
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I just found out that Bill Nye is just a stage name.

His real name is William New Year’s Eve.

πŸ‘︎ 177
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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What is Roger Federer’s favorite time of day?

About Ten-ish

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/indebut96
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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How do you get β€œDick” from Richard?

Buy him dinner first!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/becarefulprincess
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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