Did y’all know there no canary’s in the Canary Islands? The Virgin Islands are the same!
There aren’t any canary’s there either.
Did you know that there are no canaries in the Canary Islands? And the same thing applies to the Virgin Islands;
There are no canaries there either.
Apple Pie is a ridiculous $5 a slice in the U.S., but only $1 in Jamaica, the Bahamas, & the Virgin Islands
Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean
How does the Norse god of mischief act in his off time?
Have you heard about the street performer who does his act in the middle of a storm?
I got a bottle of organic apple juice that said “concentrate from Turkey”
Wouldn’t that make it... turkey juice?
The act of christening a ship by breaking a bottle of champagne against it should be called 'Shiptoasting'.
Been trying to organize a game of hide-n-seek for my local community
But good players are hard to find.
"I ain't afraid of no holy ghost." ~ The Virgin Murray.
What kind of wood that can sing,dance and act
What do a long-drawn-out comedy act and a bunch of thirsty partygoers have in common?
A long wait for the punch line.
What do you call the act of rummaging around in a purse by a warthog that is good at talking to women?
What do you call the act of an Italian having sex with pasta?
What did the shirt say when the man was acting suspicious.
One of my buddies asked me if I could find out what the largest organ in the human body was.
So I googled and told him exactly what I found.
Basically a skin for a friend.
If the island of Maui gets too much more rain...
It'll become the Isn'tland of Maui.
What is the organ donation center called in England?
Why couldn't the skeleton be an organ donor?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
They should make a political organization for older people who've left the workforce.
Call it the retirement party
What do you call a fish that knows a lot of organized information?
Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face"
Why is Greta Thornburg like an island off the east African coast?
What could a furniture store call examples of seats for kitchen islands or bars?
Grandma is always saying to me ' Hey what's the name of that German guy again who keeps taking my stuff '
Alzheimer, Grandma, it's Alzheimer.
Did you hear that a rock formation called Darwin's Arch collapsed in the Galapagos Islands?
Guess you could call that the work of Natural Selection!
Did you know a colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence?
For example
- I ate my friend's lunch
- I ate my friend's colon
So there’s this Spanish magician. His main trick was performing a spectacular vanishing act. He said that he’d vanish on the count of three. “Uno” “Dos”
And then he vanished, without a tres.
What do cannibals serve at the beginning of dinner party?
SpongeBob may be the main character of the show.
I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81.
The one and only acceptable way of advertising
Ah sorry i didn't read the name of the subreddit right
Everyone has heard of the historical figure, Karl Marx.
But no one remembers his sister, Onya, who invented the starting pistol.
My friend was trying to feed her baby but he was having none of it. I said "Try the Airplane."
She said, "Airplane? What is it?"
"It's a classic spoof film from the 1980s but that's not important right now."
My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor.
More on this after the break.
The CEO of IKEA was just selected as the Prime Minister of Sweden
He’s assembling his cabinet.
12 year old daughter singing her revised version of “Creep” by Radiohead...
“I’m a creek. I’m a riverrrrrrrr.”
So we all know that you find H2O inside a fire hydrant, but what do you find on the outside of a fire hydrant?
Why was the farmer given an award for acting as a living scarecrow?
Because he was simply outstanding in his field.
What is the opposite of isolate?
Whats the name of a crime series filmed on a sunny japanese island?
TIL: there are no canaries on the Canary Islands. The Virgin Islands are the same..
There are no canaries there either.
You know how the Canary islands is a misnomer, since there's no canaries? It's the same with the Virgin Islands
There's no canaries there either
What could a furniture store call examples of seats for kitchen islands or bars?
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