For the life of me, I couldn’t remember the dress that ballerinas wear.
Then I put tu and tu together.
I remember that teacher asking me to name something that starts with the letter N that I was not very good at.
I remember my dad giving me some sage advice......
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and I'll give you something to cry about you pansy!!
I remember standing in solitude, at the end of the long landing overlooking the Pacific Ocean - this disembodied voice was urging me to jump, so I did...
I never could stand up to pier pressure.
Do you remember when you were a kid and whenever you cried, your parents would say, “I’ll give you a reason to cry!?" I always thought they were going to hit me...
...not that they were going to destroy the housing market 20 years later.
I remember when I left home for the first time, my mum said to me, "Don't forget to write!"
I thought to myself, 'That's unlikely,Its a basic skill, why should I?"
I can't remember the name of this African river in front of me.
I must be going see Nile.
I never remember what people tell me at New Year's parties
It goes in one year and out the other.
Dad told me, "Remember these 3 little words: Don't Argue."
I said, "That's only two words," and he yelled "You're starting already!"
My son and I were waiting at a train crossing. He tells me "that train looks bigger than I remember"
So I say, "It's been training"
My wife told me today that when I got her food order, that I need to remember to ask for cheese or they wouldn’t add it.
I told her if they forgot the cheese again, it wouldn’t end very Gouda for them!
Will you remember me...
Son: Dad, Will you remember me in one second?
Dad: Yes.
Son: Dad, will you remember me in one minute?
Dad: Yes.
Son: Dad, will you remember me in one hour?
Dad: Yes.
Son: Dad, will you remember me in one day?
Dad: Yes.
Son: Dad, will you remember me in one week?
Dad: Yes.
Son: Dad, will you remember me in one month?
Dad: Yes.
Son: Dad, will you remember me in one year?
Dad: Yes.
Son: Knock Knock!
Dad: Who's there?
Son: DAD! YOU ALREADY FORGOT ME!
I remember having rocks thrown at me because I was a nerd in high school.
As they hit me, I thought, “that’s not gneiss.”
I had a great childhood, I remember my dad would put me in a tire & roll me down the hill all summer.
I have a boomerang joke I can’t seem to remember it maybe it will come back to me
I do seem to remover it went over people’s heads
I remember the last words my grandfather ever said to me. He said ‘You selfish boy!’
Not long after that, I became a fishmonger.
I remember when the kids used to tease me for my abilities as a tailor. I also had the same retort:
My great grandfather told me he remembers Mount Rushmore before it was carved
He said its beauty was unpresidented
I'll always remember what my grandfather said to me just before he kicked the bucket.
He said, "Grandson...How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
Me: Remember that cooking class we took a few months ago?
Wife: Sure, that was fun.
Me: Thyme flies.
I remember, when i was a teacher, a student came up and said 'hello teacher, tell me what's my lesson?'
I just looked right through him. Mad world innit.
Will you remember me joke. Needs 2 people to work.
"Will you remember me in a day?"
"Yes I will"
"Will you remember me in a week?"
"Yes I will"
"Will you remember me in a year?"
"Yes I will"
"Ok let me tell you a joke...knock knock..."
I remember my father giving me some sound advice on his deathbed.
He said "It's worth spending money on a good set of speakers."
I remember when I made a joke about a kid dying. My dad sat me down on the couch and told me in a serious voice "jokes about kids dying young...
I remember when I once had a friends named Eni. We were best friends until one day, she gossiped about me and stopped hanging out with me. The following day, a teacher asked me if a had any friends,
I responded with “No, not Eni.”
My mother told me that my father couldn't remember the word for ninja stars.
"Sure he can" I told her.
Hey Dad, remember you told me when you were young you used to love blowing bubbles?
Yes son I do.
Me: Well he's back in town and he's looking for you
When I was young, I remember my dad asked me what the plural of "tank" is. I said "tanks."
He said "you're welcome."
I'll always remember the best joke my dad ever told me:
"Hey kiddo, I'm heading to the store for cigarettes, I'll be back in a minute."
I’ll always remember what my grandpa told me on his deathbed—He said, “Always make sure you’re not part of the problem...”
“..Try your best to be the whole problem.”
I remember what my dad told me right before he kicked the bucket
"Hey, son. Watch me kick this bucket!"
I went to high school with a Buzzfeed writer, and I remember him offering me $20 to hang out with him and his friends.
Turns out it was Clique bait.
Help me remember the pun I had. For a RPG game I was planning an encounter with a walking brothel/whore house (like howl's moving castle)and the whorehouse had a really punny name.
I can only think of "The bone wanderer", but what I had was better than that and I cant remember it. please make suggestions, and maybe it'll be close enough to spark my memory
My wife told me she couldn’t remember whether she took her anti-anxiety medication or not.
I asked, “Are you worried about it?”
I still remember fondly the first time my Dad took me to a wonderful seafood restaurant.
I’ll never forget it. A great mussel memory.
I fondly remember my college buddies who were with me during my darkest times.
They didn’t pay their electric bills either.
Hey dad, remember when Adam tried to punch me and accidentally punched the window out?
Dad- "Yeah, that was a pane to fix."
I still remember the moment when my dad told me the definition of the word plethora.
My doctor asked me if I had ever had amnesia. I told him I can’t remember.
This is getting silly, but help me remember the name of the movie with Ellen Page where she got pregnant in high school...
...it had a certain Juno se qua
I don't understand why people expect me to remember what fraternity or sorority they're in. It's all Greek to me
In the car yesterday, my dad told a really dumb pun. For the life of me, I couldn't remember it, so I asked him again this morning.
Me: "What was that really bad joke you told me in the car?"
Dad: "It couldn't have been me"
Me: "It was definitely you, Dad"
Dad: "Nope. I know it wasn't me because I don't tell bad jokes"
Goddammit Dad
I still remember what my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket:
“How far do you think I can kick that bucket?”
I still remember the last thing my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket
"How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
I remember the last thing my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket.
He said, "watch me kick this bucket"
I still remember the last thing my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket
"How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
I will always remember the last thing my grandmother said to me before she kicked the bucket.
She said ‘look how far I can kick this bucket’.
I can always remember the last words my Father said to me before he kicked the bucket
"Son, how far do you think I can kick that bucket?"
Ill always remember the last words my dad told me before he kicked the bucket...
Dad: "son, look how far I can kick this bucket."
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