Red Rum Puns

I said to my 13 year old. He's at that age when he is starting to think he knows everything because he knows why salt makes ice melt.

He knows I'm a teetotaler.

"What do you know about making drinks?" he says sneeringly.

"I know how to make some drinks."

"Like what?"

"I know how to make rum and coke. I know how to make gin and tonic. I know how to make Shirley Temples."

There is a snort there.

"I know how to make vodka cranberries. I know how to make margaritas. I know how to make red wine."

He finishes the fries he is eating at the counter island in the kitchen and starts to head out of the room.

"Do you know how to make a red wine?" I call after him.

He turns around and looks at me, still chewing.

"How"

"Tell them about 1991."

"What?"

"That is when the Soviet Union fell, all the reds were whining."

True story.

He teaches a class where students were doing book reports. One had done one on Stephen King's Doctor Sleep, the sequel to The Shining. The student mentioned that the main character, Danny Torrence is now an alcoholic, and from the back of the room husband goes, "Does he drink red rum?"