What do Red Lobster shrimp and a car dealership have in common?

They’ve both been detailed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flowersforfrogs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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Red Lobster with my dad.

So after 10 minutes of us receiving or food, the waitress asks "Did everything come out okay?" And my dad replies with this:

"You're asking that so early! We've barely even eaten and we're supposed to know how it came out?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Modesties
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2016
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"Why do people like working at the Red Lobster?"

It helps them get out of their shell.

Dad dropped this exquisite cringe as we drove by.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/machoman101
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2016
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One of CNN's headline writers is obviously a dad

I sea what you did there!

http://i.imgur.com/tEp5yIh.png

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sparklekitteh
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2014
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Accidental dad-joke on my first day of being married

My wife and I ate at red lobster last night after our marriage ceremony (we're having a reception in a few weeks when all of our family and friends are actually available).

Well, my wife accidentally choked on whatever she was eating.

After she got done coughing..

> Me: Are you alright?

> Her: Yes. Fine! It just scared me. I'll be back. I'm going to run to the restroom.

> Me: Okey-Dokey-Arti-Chokey!

> Her: groans and rolls eyes

I was confused until she got a few steps away and then I said under my breath

> Me: "heh.. Arti-chokey"

I laughed silently to myself and reminded her of what I said when she got back to the table.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dforderp
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2015
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A torch was passed from my father to me last weekend.

I grew up in Northern California and have visited the Monterey Bay Aquarium a few times as a kid.

Every. Goddam. Time. My dad would pause in front of the jellyfish tank and say "You kids think these are cool, wait till you see the peanut butter fish. Maybe they will make you a sandwich."

So on saturday my mom and dad accompanied me and my family there for the first time in years. When we got to the jellyfish I was ready, and beat my dad to the punch. My three year old thought I was serious of course, but my five year old daughter is pretty sharp and she called me out.

My dad leaned down and congratulated her for not being duped. He then said "Let's go check out the tuna tank." My daughter got excited and said "They have TUNA?!"

Grinning, my dad said "Yes sweetheart, and just like at Red Lobster, you get to pick which one you want and they will make you a sandwich."

The old man has still got it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/robinson217
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2015
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my husband laid this one on me yesterday:

Me: Red Lobster is kind of expensive. Him: Yea most seafood is. I don't know why though, I see food everywhere!

smh lol.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrsSarahHarvey
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2013
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