While getting ready to go to the beach, my daughter asked me what we can eat if we get hungry there.

And I was just too excited to even hit her with the joke. It was exactly like when Dwight said β€œwhat’s updog?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Natural-Ad-3666
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2021
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A dad and his teenage son were getting ready to go to a party...

The son comes to meet by the front door, and starts shaking his head in disbelief. "Dad, why do you have to wear stuff like that, a Hawaiian shirt, socks with sandals and that silly hat! You're always embarrassing me with your terrible fashion sense!"

The dad responds, "Well son, I have been meaning to tell you this for a long time. I think we are just very different people, because you were actually adopted."

"YOU'RE not my REAL dad??!!?"

"No son, I'm your Faux Pa"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UltraBlumpkin07
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2021
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What type of doctor is always ready to go to the hospital?

An β€œon-col”ogist

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jblackhawk7
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
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My Wife was doing Yoga and I asked her if she was ready to go.

She said Namaste

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lifesabatch
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
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As we were getting ready to go to the beach, I reluctantly said to my wife, "I hate to say this honey, but your bikini is kinda tight and revealing." She giggled and said...

"Well then, you'd better wear your own!"

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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My herbs were looking a little scuffed, but when I went to go polish them, my friend was already getting ready to help me out. This made me upset, so I grabbed a sprig out of their hands and said

This is my thyme to shine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nilaky
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the snail say to his voice activated vehicle when it asked him if he was ready to go for a drive

Yes car go

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πŸ‘€︎ u/absurd-bird-turd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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My missus spent 2 hours getting ready to go out last night. She finally came out of the bathroom and asked β€œDo I look fat in this?”

I said β€œWell yes, but to be fair, it is a small bathroom”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
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Waitress comes over to see if we are ready to order by saying "Are we good to go here?"

"No, actually we'd like to stay and eat"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptKirk004
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2017
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My friend asked me whether I’m ready to go to the nudist colony.

I was born ready.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
🚨︎ report
it's been a week since my vasectomy and ready to give it a go

unfortunately I came up empty

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hbsquatch
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2017
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Everyone is the horseback tour group was an experienced equestrian and was saddled and ready to go.

The tour would start "ride" on time

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2018
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So my dad and I stopped next to a cemetery getting ready to go on a dirtbike ride...

Me: "A cemetery... huh?"

Dad: "Yep. I guess you could say people are dying to get here."

Me: "sdjfiojsdiofajdiafjioadsjf" slowly dies inside

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MysticalAce
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2018
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What did the Mama Llama say to the Daddy Llama while they were getting ready to go on vacation?

You make sure the kids are ready and Alpaca the bags.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DidlyDeePotato
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2015
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Dad joked a lady friend today while she was getting ready to go out.

She said: "I need to find a necklace to tie these shoes together"

Me: "You should really use the laces for that"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bmatic
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2015
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Got my daughters with this one: Eldest: Dad are you ready to go yet?

Me: Digital Potato.

Youngest: WHAT!?

Eldest: What is that supposed to mean?

Me: iYam.

Bonus: Later that day eldest states she has the urge to replay Portal 2.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skarkroe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2014
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Son's mom and I were getting ready to go out

I couldn't find my other sock. I asked her to stand up in case she was sitting on it and said, "Unless you want me to go off all half-socked."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Drake_Tungsten
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2014
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