Randy Thornhill Puns

The NFL Gods have blessed all the fans with two weeks of incredible games to watch at every time slot. With a handful of unexpected results, these rankings are as tumultuous as ever. 32/32 reporting, who hit the nail on the head? Who goofed? Discuss!

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

The doctor says it terminal.

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

Two draft-related notes came out this week that should interest Cowboys fans.

First was the latest Dane Brugler Top 50 prospects list from The Athletic. The second was the latest Hot Stove Report from Walter Football.

Both reports could significantly impact which direction the Cowboys take in the 2022 NFL draft.

The first news to come out was from WalterFootball regarding the talent level of the 2022 NFL draft. According to the report, evaluators are thus far disappointed with the top-level of talent, saying it’s a down year for elite prospects.

Overall, though, the rest of the draft is shaping up to be historically deep in the later rounds.

From WalterFootball: “Multiple sources from a variety of teams told WalterFootball.com that they feel the 2022 NFL Draft will be strong in terms of mid-round, third-day, and undrafted free agent talent. On the other hand, they do not believe there are a lot of elite rare prospects for the top of the first round, at least compared to other recent drafts.”

One area scout who covers the Southeast told WalterFootball that the 2022 draft will have better talent on Day 3 and will have more priority-free agents than most years. That’s because of Covid. Last year’s virus-shortened season allowed players an extra year of eligibility, so many Day 3-type of prospects chose to come back this season.

A few days later, Brugler unveiled his top 50 update, where he noted that it was heavy on offensive tackles and pass rushers. Brugler has nine pass rushers in his top 50 (the Jake Rigdon-Fanspeak big board lists 10, with a few just missing the cut). And Brugler has seven offensive tackles in his top 50 (the Rigdon big board lists 6).

So it’s debatable whether the OT class is actually deep. Instead, I would consider it top-heavy.

We also know premium positions (QB, WR, CB, Edge, OT) always go high, as they’re among the hardest to find quality. However, a closer look at the OT and Edge class paints a very different picture:

• There are 29 pass rushers in the Rigdon big board top 150. That’s an insane am

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

The bartender says, "Sorry, no minors”

Nothing, he was gladiator.