I got some devastating news from the hospital today. My dad was pronounced dead.

I canโ€™t believe Iโ€™ve been pronouncing it wrong all this time.

Edit: this joke was straight up stolen from professional comedian Nick Nemeroff. I heard it on the radio so I didnโ€™t have his name handy and thought it was awesome for this sub and had to post it before I forgot it. Thanks to Nick for commenting here below so that I could give him credit.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/VeryLastBison
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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Why did Vice Squad raid the water treatment plant?

They'd received a tip about a bunch of Pumps and Hoses.

(I'm sorry. I just got off work, heard "pumps and hoses" on the radio, and a bad idea was born.)

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/OOOH_WHATS_THIS
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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What do you get when you cross a DJ and a pig?

Ham radio

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tyrannosaur85
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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Why are Lionel Richieโ€™s electricity bills so high?

Because heโ€™s up โ€œAll Night Longโ€!

Heard this joke on the radio yesterday, I thought it deserved a place here.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/waffles1243
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
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I was walking by a yard sale the other day

I saw a radio for $1. The volume dial was broken but I knew i couldnโ€™t turn that down.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MightyOwl121
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty much every day.

She wasnโ€™t unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing. She would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around, then speak to them.

Generally, the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money for something she carried in her bag.

The couple assumed she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didnโ€™t know for sure they just continued to watch her.

After a couple of weeks the wife asked, โ€œHoney, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?โ€

He hadnโ€™t and said so. Then she said, โ€œTomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what sheโ€™s really doing.โ€

Well, the plan went off without a hitch, and the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man walked up the beach and met his wife at the road. โ€œWell, is she selling drugs?โ€ she asked excitedly.โ€

โ€œNo, sheโ€™s not.โ€ he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have.

โ€œWell, what is it, then?โ€ his wife fairly shrieked.

The man grinned and said. โ€œHer name is Sally and sheโ€™s selling batteries.โ€

โ€œBatteries?โ€ cried the wife.

โ€œYes,โ€ he replied. โ€œShe sells C cells by the Seashore.โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/AustralianGroan
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
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I was listening to the radio...

DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Anon_777
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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An American ship is sinking off the German coast.

The captain goes to use the radio to get help and says โ€œweโ€™re sinking! Weโ€™re sinking!โ€

The German operator answers โ€œwhat are you sinking about?โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/NoamTheSHEEP
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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Knock knock

Who's there?

Radio

Radio who?

Radio not, here I come!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/gradymegalania
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
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Abbott and Costello talk about Lou's new dog

(From Abbott and Costelloโ€™sย radio show, December 30, 1943)
Lou Costello: Oh, Abbott, the worst thing just happened to me!
Bud Abbott: No!
Lou Costello: Yeah, Mrs. Niles gave me a dog for a Christmas present, and the dog just took a great big bite out of me!
Bud Abbott: Where did he bite you?
Lou Costello: Well, if Iโ€™d have been wearing a license plate, heโ€™d have gotten the last three numbers.
Bud Abbott: Where did this happen?
Lou Costello: Well, let me see, where did this happen โ€” in a crowded streetcar. It was the first time I ever gave my seat to a dog.
Bud Abbott: Well, never mind that. What kind of a dog did Mrs. Niles give you?
Lou Costello: Do you remember that famous dog, Strongheart?
Bud Abbott: Yes, I remember Strongheart.
Lou Costello: Well, this is his brother โ€” Weak Stomach.
Bud Abbott: Listen, Iโ€™m not talking about that. What is the dogโ€™s breed?
Lou Costello: What does he breed? He breeds through his nose, like you and me!
Bud Abbott: No, no, no, you dummy, what kind of dog is he? Spitz?
Lou Costello: No, but he drools a little.
Bud Abbott: Look, there are different types of dogs, such as Setters, and Pointers, โ€ฆ
Lou Costello: Thatโ€™s it, Abbott! Heโ€™s a Setter-Pointer!
Bud Abbott: A Setter-Pointer?
Lou Costello: Yeah, he sets all day and points at the icebox! (Editorโ€™s note: we now call an โ€œiceboxโ€ a โ€œrefrigeratorโ€)

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tfraymond
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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TIL that in WWII Jewish Americans refused to be radio operators.

It was because at the time we only used HAM radios.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Cananbaum
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
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Got my son on this one yesterday. He was listening to imagine dragons.

Me: Do they ever play this band on the radio? son: of course its imagine dragons. me: so they are active on the radio? son: looks at me for a second, oh jeez me: so they are radio-active!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dubeykeebler
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
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What's your forte?

From the Red Skelton radio show, with Red playing Bolivar Shagnasti, interviewing a new performer for his circus

Lady: Iโ€™m a performer.

Red Skelton: Whatโ€™s your forte?

Lady: Pardon?

Red Skelton: Your forte.

Lady: No, Iโ€™m only 39.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tfraymond
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
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Son got me!

Went shooting at an outdoor range. With my 11 year old boy. After putting 1000 rounds down range, we headed home. While driving home after like 10 mins...

Me, "my ears are messed up, the radio and the tires sound funny".

Son, (holding up three finger) says,"how many fingers am I holding up?"

Me, "What, I said my ears are messed up not my eyes!"

Son, (still holding up his fingers yells at the top of his lungs) "HOW MANY FINGERS AM I HOLDING UP?"

Im still laughing!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Anthropic-principle
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 03 2016
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Just heard this dad call the local radio station...

This morning, a local radio station had trivia going on, in which the first correct caller would win a free dozen donuts at a local store.

Radio DJ: 20% of Americans have one of these in their home, and despite not working, have no plans of fixing them. First caller, you're up!

Dad: (without hesitation) Hello, I have the answer, I'm ready for the donuts!

Radio DJ: (laughs) What is the answer?

Dad: Teenagers!

Radio DJ: Next caller, you're up!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Margerita94
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 30 2014
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What's the difference between a radio and a clothesline?

A radio draws the waves, and a clothesline waves the draws.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/six0seven
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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Loan me 50 dollars

One of the classic ย Abbott and Costello ย routines, where Bud Abbott takes advantage of a common math mistake that we all make to fleece his pal, Lou Costello, out of all of his money. ย The skit ends with a simple โ€˜read my mindโ€™ routine that takes Louโ€™s last remaining bill. ย This routine was done ย many ย times, both in the movies and their radio show.

Bud Abbott: Do me a favor, loan me $50.
Lou Costello: Bud, I canโ€™t. I canโ€™t loan you $50.
Bud Abbott: Oh, yes, ya can.
Lou Costello: No, I canโ€™t. All I got is $40.
Bud Abbott: All right, give me the $40 and youโ€™ll owe me 10 ย 
Lou Costello: Ok, Iโ€™ll owe you 10.
Bud Abbott: Thatโ€™s right.
Lou Costello: How come I owe you 10?
Bud Abbott: How much did I ask for?
Lou Costello: 50
Bud Abbott: How much did you give me?
Lou Costello: 40.
Bud Abbott: So you owe me $10.
Lou Costello: Thatโ€™s right. ย [Pause] But you owe me 40.
Bud Abbott: Donโ€™t change the subject.
Lou Costello: Iโ€™m not changing the subject; youโ€™re trying to change my finances. Come on, Abbott give me my $40.
Bud Abbott: All right, thereโ€™s your $40, now give me the 10 you owe me.
Lou Costello: Iโ€™m paying you on account.
Bud Abbott: On account?
Lou Costello: On account I donโ€™t know how I owe it to ya.
Bud Abbott: Thatโ€™s the way you feel about it, thatโ€™s the last time I ask you for a loan of $50.
Lou Costello: But how can I loan ya $50, now. All I got is 30.
Bud Abbott: Well, give me the 30 and youโ€™ll owe me 20.
Lou Costello: Ok. This is getting worse all the time. (Look at audience) First I owe him 10, now I owe him 20.
Bud Abbott: Well, why do you run yourself into debt?
Lou Costello: Iโ€™m not running in, youโ€™re pushing me!1
Bud Abbott: I canโ€™t help it if you canโ€™t handle your finances. I do all right with my money.
Lou Costello: And you do all right with my money too.
Bud Abbott: Now I asked you for a loan of $50. You gave me 30, so you owe me 20. 20 and 30 is 50.
Lou Costello: No. No. No. 25 and 25 is 50.
Bud Abbott: All right, hereโ€™s your $30, now give me the 20 you owe me. Fine guy, wonโ€™t loan a pal $50.

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tfraymond
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
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My mom falls for this every time I come home

ME: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

ME: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

ME: No, it was with a knife...

My mom stares at me confused and then gets angry, while my dad grins from ear to ear, with a single tear of pride.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Jimothy_Riggins
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 03 2014
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Dyeing Routine

A classic Abbott and Costelloย routine from their radio show โ€“ where Bud Abbott is talking about his Uncle Herman who works in a dye factory, and Lou Costello confuses โ€œdyeingโ€ for โ€œdyingโ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tfraymond
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
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My students are catching on...

Today I took a class out onto the oval to investigate the strength of radio signals in different situations. For one, we wrapped a radio in foil and as I was unwrapping it a student commented that they hoped there was food inside.

I finished opening it and said 'oh man, it's a radio - mum must really hate me' to which another student replied 'I know, it's not even a ham radio...'

Was so proud!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/D-Nizzle
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 06 2014
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Is that John Mayer?

In line at the cafeteria.

Coworker: "is that John Mayer on the radio?"

Me: "I don't know, Mayer may not be."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/xopher314
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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I think I'm going to open a store that sells rocks...

When we have special promotions, I can make a commercial on the radio that says "don't take this shale for granite!"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mkay1911
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 17 2016
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A police officer walks into a tattoo parlor

A police officer walks into a tattoo parlor, hoping to get something cool drawn onto his shoulder. He walks up to the artist and shows him a picture of what he wants. In large text on a ribbon it says, "Protect and Serve." Below it, is a picture of a a badge, a pair of handcuffs, and a pistol. The tattoo artist is very good at his job, and says he can get this done in one session, so the officer sits down and the artist gets started. A few hours later, the artist is just finishing up, inking the last details of his service weapon. Once the last line is inked on the trigger, the cop gets up from his chair and looks in the mirror to see his new tattoo. His face twists into a look of shock and terror, pulls out his gun and opens fire onto the tattoo artist, killing him in the process. He gets on his radio, calling for backup, and took a defensive position until a few more cops and the police chief showed to the parlor minutes later. The chief, while examining the scene asks the officer, "What the hell? Why did you shoot this guy?" The cop says, "What did you expect me to do? The guy drew a gun on me!"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kickypie
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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I think this belongs here

In a rental car full of people, the satellite radio has a cute doggo as an icon and one of my party asked what it was and I said it controls the sub woofers... Nobody laughed

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Geralt-of-Labia
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
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No I cannot imagine

I heard on the radio a few days ago:

Imagine dragons will be performing in Las Vegas on New Years Eve!

Cant you IMAGINE

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/4our_of_DiAmoNds
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
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Are U2 Irish?

My dad, sister and I were driving home the other night when a U2 song came on the radio. He asked us if we knew what the song was about (Sunday Bloody Sunday). I knew, and mentioned it's unfortunate source. My sister then asks from the back seat "Are U2 Irish?" to which my dad responds "Nope! We're Canadian!" and then begins laughing so hard that he is practically in tears and snorting. He didn't stop for a good 2 or 3 minutes. My sister and I just shook our heads slowly.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DanBMan
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 12 2015
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My wife must secretly be a dad.

We were listening to the radio when a commercial came on for an event called "Golf for Autism." She turns to me and says, "well that's a shitty prize!"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/fusion_xgen
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 13 2014
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The story of Mike and the dad joke hall of fame

Hello everyone. Today, a 72-year-old man named Mike came into my office. Mike blessed me with many gifts, a sampling of which I would like to share with you all here.

First, Mike asked how I was. I said "good, how are you?" Mike: I had a dream last night I was a muffler. And when I woke up it scared me because I was exhausted.

Mike also has an ex wife. "My Ex wife was so ugly her mom made her go trick or treating by telephone so she didnโ€™t scare the other children."

Not just one ex wife, Mike has two ex wives. "My ex wife was so ugly I used to take her to work with me so I didnโ€™t have to kiss her goodbye"

Mike does a lot of work for various charities. "I asked the lady at a restaurant if I could post my flyer for an event in the window. She said 'that depends, are you a non-profit?' I said 'lady I've got two ex wives, I haven't had profit in 30 years!'"

Those darn ex wives. "Iโ€™m so poor a pick pocket tried to rob me the other day and all he got was practice."

Mike actually came to my office to tell me about a basketball camp he's putting on next week. He's been playing basketball for 64 years. "I was a great athlete in high school. I was voted most valuable player by all the cheerleaders."

There was one girl though who got away. "There was a girl who lived down the street and I used to call her all the time and say 'Sarah, can I come over?' and she'd say no. So one day she called & said โ€œMike, come over, nobody's home.โ€ So I went to her house and she was right, there wasnโ€™t anybody there."

That girl may be why he didn't play baseball. "I played football, basketball and track. Someone asked me 'Mike, why didn't you play baseball?' I said 'because I was already so good at striking out!'"

Anyways, Mike went on to have a lengthy career in TV and radio, until he didn't. "I had to quit my job for medical reasons. My boss said I made her sick."

Thank you for your time.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CCisme5
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 24 2018
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10 men trapped in Alaska

I remember years ago when in my remote town in Alaska there were 10 men stuck underground. I don't recall the circumstances that got them into this situation but it was clear that if they didn't get out soon they weren't going to make it.

All of our local rescue and public services were unable to get them out and they were running out of time. With only 18 hours remaining they sent for the only expert who could help, a rescue operations legend Mr. Puh. If he could get a plane into town it could make all the difference.

I remember gathering around the radio, biting our nails, as weather conditions worsened and threatened the planes journey.

I don't remember how long I stayed awake that night, but I will never forget the words I heard when I turned the radio on in the morning: "Puh not in, ten dead."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ToyokiSonoda
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
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This is giraffe radio

The only radio that dares sticking their neck out

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JapiePapie
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
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Dadjoked a city... kinda

So in Canberra people are picking their own mushrooms; which would be fine except for the rather hazardous Death Caps that seem to be plentiful right now. A local radio station asked their listeners whether hey thought mushroom sales at stores or restaurants would go down, and what people thought of the whole issue. With a decade of experience in hospitality I thought I'd call and while waiting to go on air, the presenters joked about calling up the head 'mushroom guy' for Australia and asking their opinion.

I go on air and assure them that no restaurant worth their salt would risk their name and business by buying mushrooms that weren't from an official farm. But just before They bid me farewell I said; "I hope you do get to talk to the head mushroom person, I bet he's a real Fungi".

There was silence followed by barely audible raucous laughter from what sounded like either outside their booth or over the intercom, I'm not sure. The presenters denied me an on air groan or laugh and just pretended like I had said nothing. But someone laughed... Someone...

[Edit: Wow, unable to log in to reddit for a day and I miss getting nearly eight times more up votes than I have since joining Reddit last year. Thanks all! I knew having a 1 yr old would pay off.]

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SketchGoatee
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 15 2014
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I caught my stepfather in the act last week.

My stepfather and mother have been doing some remodeling in their first house to get it ready to put on the market, so they are fixing up some things, and I was giving them a hand. As we were working we had the radio playing.

My mother notices a light switch on the wall in the bedroom that isn't working quite right. She says, "Honey I think there's something wrong with the light switch."

To which my stepfather replies, "What's wrong with it?"

My mother says, "It's making a weird noise. I think it's humming. Why is the light switch humming?"

My stepfather says, "That's probably because it doesn't know the words."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Sennius
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 08 2018
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Can anyone recommend a builder?

Iโ€™ve been looking to get some masonry work done on a garden boundary outside my house, but the last builder I used ripped me off. He turned up with Pink Floyd blasting on his radio, laid one stone and then left, and he hasnโ€™t been seen since.

Iโ€™m a bit disappointed by it, but all in all itโ€™s just another brick in the wall...

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Hufc1908
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
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A man walked into a metal bar...

Slayer was on the radio and they had a great selection of beers on tap.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/scottcmu
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
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My dad just got me on our drive to Key West

So we've been driving for about 30 minutes down state route 1 and talking has died down a bit. We're just listening to some oldies on the radio when my dad says, "Flo Rida must be pretty popular down here. I keep seeing his name everywhere." I replied, "really? I haven't seen it anywhere..... Ugh Shut up dad."

Edit: Key West is the most southern part of the state of Florida, USA. Flo Rida is a rapper. Flo Rida is really popular in Florida. My dad saw Flo Rida a lot during our drive in Florida. If you don't get it yet, leave /r/dadjokes

Edit 2 because people keep struggling. If this doesn't help you understand the joke you're lost.
Flo Rida
Flo rida
Florida

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/greekgodgrizz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 15 2016
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Dad, do ants have antennas?

Of course they do. How else would they listen to the radio?

(Actual question and answer with my daughter earlier this week. I got the eye roll. Mission accomplished.)

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/idb155676
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
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Yesterday, I saw an ad for a radio.

The ad said, โ€œRadio for sale. $1.00. Volume stuck on loud.โ€

I thought, โ€œWow! I canโ€™t turn that down!"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/theviolentninja
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 26 2018
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I just sold my car and this was my add

Hi Folks, If you are a linguist then I am selling your dream car! Iโ€™m selling an Accent, a 2004 Hyundai Accent to be precise. Even if you donโ€™t know a bunch of languages, this car is still great for you.

Just like me, itโ€™s been around the birthday block a few times, but thereโ€™s still lots of life left in both of us, I guarantee! If you are looking for the perfect body, seek out a surgeon. If youโ€™re looking for a car that will love you just the way you are, this is it. Now I know what youโ€™re thinking, โ€œI bet this is a junkerโ€, but youโ€™d be wrong. Next to my wife this is the best body Iโ€™ve ever had my hands on.

Whatโ€™s wrong with it mechanically you ask? Nothing! It drives great, A/C & heat still work like a dream, breaks work, transmission shifts good, and the 1.6L engine runs great. With its age, the engine has had some parts replaced. All the belts have recently been changed, that happens with age as I just went up a few sizes myself. The washer fluid pump has been changed because itโ€™s important to be able to have a good cry once in a while. I did an oil change in the summer and depending on how long it takes for this car to finds itโ€™s new match, I will do another in the next month or so.

Since beauty is in the eye of the beholder, Iโ€™ll give you a run down of what the interior is like. Itโ€™s whatโ€™s on the inside that matters anyway right? I am the 3rd owner of this car and the previous owner was a smoker. I donโ€™t believe there is a cigarette smell anymore but the cloth seats do have little holes in them. I mean hey, when you play with fire you get burnt right? The stereo head unit has been replaced with a modern Pioneer as the original just wasnโ€™t in tune with my musical needs as a Dj. The only real problem this pretty young thing has is the passenger rear seatbelt does not retract. Since I have two mini controllers I taxi around, Iโ€™ve had car seats in the back and have had no reason to replace the seatbelt yet. A new one is only a cool $250 from Hyundai but will take some time for delivery. There are still 4 working seatbelts in the car so if youโ€™re traveling with another couple, Iโ€™m sure theyโ€™ll love to cuddle up in the middle and behind you, the driver.

The trunk is spacious enough for the average trunk but just doesnโ€™t work out so well for hauling Dj gear. The rear seats fold as easy a poker player having their bluff called, so it will give you extra room. Not much more that I can think of to tell you about but take a look at the plethora of p

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DjBWren
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 14 2017
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Tread softly.

A police officer radioed to headquarters: "Chief we've got a situation here. A woman just shot her husband for walking on a freshly mopped floor."

Chief: "Did you arrest her?"

Officer: "Not yet. The floor's still wet."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 240
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jukeefe
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 17 2016
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First you listen to me, then you eat me. What am I?

Ham radio.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/KineticIsEpic
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 25 2018
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Got my friend with this one, she was not too happy...

Me: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

Friend: Seriously!? Who!?

Me: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

Friend: WITHERSPOON!!??

Me: No, it was with a knife...

๐Ÿ‘︎ 183
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/QUACKASAUROS111
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
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Here it comes....

DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

๐Ÿ‘︎ 135
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JNGamingYT
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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I remembered dad jokes were a thing. Here have one.

DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

๐Ÿ‘︎ 77
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Xavier_potato
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 28 2019
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Actress just killed herself

DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Dadjokeshq
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
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An actress just killed herself...

DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thirdeyebro
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
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Why did i do this

DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife..

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Pecketz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
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