Hello /r/dadjokes, my best mate has just started seeing a girl who is in med school. I’m desperate for some doctor related dadjokes/puns/innuendos to lay on him.

Please help

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πŸ‘€︎ u/desem-
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2017
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[META] can the sidebar link to other pun-related subreddits, e.g. /r/punny?

Would be nice, it was a long time before I happuned to find /r/punny and I'm sure that there are a lot of others that I don't know about. Also /r/TomSwifties.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RheingoldRiver
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2012
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xpost from /r/writingprompts: A poorly-disguised escaped dairy cow has worked at an ice cream parlor... but now her bovine related puns is slowly starting to give her away.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoldenApple23
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2016
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Need Hella Puns

https://preview.redd.it/wa3s3ozxftc61.png?width=4500&format=png&auto=webp&s=04f10d36e95914e4d39ec2312ce5176a062911b1

Who thinks they're punny?! πŸ˜œβ €β €I sketched this Hellraiser holding a cactus and thought it'd make a cute Valentine's Day card. I'm in the process of colouring it and I want YOU to help me caption it.β €

I've asked the question on IG (@ashrobertsondesign) but didn't get a lot of feedback so I'm reaching out here. Gimme your best prick, point, hell, etc. related puns n make it about love πŸ”₯

I'll choose a favourite from the comments and turn it into a FREE Valentine's Day card printable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ashtrobertson
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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Give me your cheesiest cheese puns!

For a Halloween party this year, I'm going as Cheesus Christ, the Gouda Shepherd.

That being said, I need to prepare an absolute onslaught of cheese related puns for maximum eye-rolls.

Give me your worst best, Reddit!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vvarx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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I know this has been asked here before but can yall do your thing and make a pun on my name?

My name is Naomi Pronounced "neigh- oh-me". "mayo" and "gay" related puns have already been used on me by multiple friends but I want to know if there's anything better out there THANKS

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notcallipygian
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
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Need chemistry puns

Any good science related pun?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rathi_shobhit
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
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People of Dad Jokes, I need your help.

My wife is having a minor surgery tomorrow that will require her to wear an eye patch for a week. I need enough eye, patch, and pirate related puns to last me a week and eye've only got enough for two days tops. Can you help me?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sylvanusz5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2018
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[Request] Puns on the name "Ghesh"

There's a player in my Dnd campaign with the name "Ghesh". I'm wanting some adventuring-related puns to annoy with. I've already used "put a bandage on that Ghesh" (playing off of gash) and "Found Gheshing Water" (off gushing). Any other ideas?

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
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Pun Request

I'm looking for a few spice/herb related puns, specifically:

  • Black Pepper
  • Cinnamon
  • Garlic Powder
  • Paprika
  • Nutmeg
  • Chili Powder
  • Basil
  • Tumeric
  • Onion Powder
  • Curry Powder

Any ideas are appreciated!

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2018
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Bread puns

That guy who stole my bread is toast! He butter be able to run fast! Need more bread related puns, much appreciated boys.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Camprosic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2016
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Oceans.. they’re a whale of a time

I need as many whale related puns as possible as quickly as possible, leaving the rest to you reddit, help a brother out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vyvernn
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2018
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Help Needed- USB Puns

All USB related Puns needed! Any pun will do, the more groan-worthy the better!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_johnarch
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2014
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Can someone help me make a pun?

I need to make a geography related pun with my name, Adnaan, and if anyone could help it would be very appreciated.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adnaan2513
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2016
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Pun request

Hello guys, I need some help with finding some toe-related puns for my friend who broke her toe. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oohlalla
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2016
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[REQUEST] Username Puns?

So I want to change my Xbox username, but since it costs money, I want to get it right (not that I'm broke, but I think that it's stupid that it charges you). My name is Clayton, so I think a Clayton-Related pun for the username would be cool.

Examples: ClaytonicBond, ClaytonianRhapsody, etc.

However, other creative usernames are also appreciated.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProbablySpiderman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2014
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Request for puns

Hi guys, I have a friend who has recently has surgery on her back to remove some cysts. I'm going to give her a get well card and I want to put as many back/cyst/surgery/recovery/etc. related puns or general sayings as I can for a goofy card that will hopefully give her some chuckles.

E.g. "You're like a CYSTer to me", "Hope you get BACK to being well soon", "You've been through enough PUNishment". Etc.

Help me Reddit you're my only hope. :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oneofakindof
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2015
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Stamp collecting

A few days ago, I was with family and Aunt #1 was showing me a book about antique stamps for collectors and the many thousands of dollars some of them cost. When she talked about her stamp collection, I said "That's a sticky habit."

Aunt #2 groaned and said, "What are you? Uncle R (her husband)?"

A few minutes later, I told her, "It's okay. You can address your resentment of stamp-related puns to me. I'm not afraid. [walking to edge of the room] I can take a licking right here in this corner if I have to! C'mon, go postal on me!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slinkwyde
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2014
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The punchline is key

A few weeks ago I stayed at my dad's house. In the morning I found I had forgotten my keys and therefore had locked myself in. Because I didn't want to get told off/mocked by my dad, I phoned my brother's girlfriend to go to my brother at his work, retrieve the key from him and bring it back to dad's house to let me out. The following week my brother (the traitor) told my dad about this escapade and dad phoned me to mock me and tell me that not only was there a spare key in the house already, dad just happened to be driving past the house when I left anyway so could've let me out himself...

These are some of the key-related puns since then.

> me: dad, I didn't get the job in [city]

> dad: don't worry, it wasn't a key position.

Today in the restaurant we ate at: oh look! They do KEY lime pie!

Dude turns his head to look at me as dad and I walk down the road together: oooh! He looked keen. Geddit? Keen? KEY-n

> me: okay dad, you can stop with the key jokes now.

> dad makes the motion of sealing his lips and locking them with a key, immediately bursting into fits of giggles before he says: nah I think this joke has many more possibilities to unlock. more laughter

So many groans...

Ninja edit: something went funny with the submit page...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NejKidd
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2013
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Police are investigating a murder in which the victim was shot with a starters pistol.

The police think it's race-related.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/elwheelio
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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Oman! You’re about to read some terrible stuff.

β€œI live in Spain without the β€˜s’”.

This inspired me to come up with some truly terrible country-related jokes.

It’s about to Bahrain jokes without the β€œBah”.

  1. I have a double China without the β€œa”.

  2. Some people have told me that I look a lot like a German without the β€œan”.

  3. Oman, I think that one conspiracy about Israel Israel.

  4. You all probably want to hit me with Japan without the β€œJ”.

  5. You probably can’t Kuwait to stop reading these without the β€œKu”.

  6. Nowadays, car companies are focusing on making electric cars, but I Madagascar.

  7. As you’ve probably guessed, I don’t even have one Nepal without the β€œNe”.

All of these bad jokes made me Hungary so Iran to the nearest shop to get some food. Why am I always India-r need of food?

I sincerely apologise, fellow people. These jokes probably left a painful Denmark on your souls without the β€œDen”, of course.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anipanreads
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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I need help solving a pun/riddle.

Context: I'm in a DnD campaign, for fifth edition.

So basically, one of my characters told a horrible pun to a planetar (Massive angel-like being) over Sending (A spell letting you communicate over long distances). "Whaddya call a celestial who likes to fish? An angel-er." and then he got asked to put his journal in the box that suddenly appeared behind hm, He complied, and when he got it back his name was gone from the first page of the book, and there was a golden box, that read "Tell me what I've pun, wizard" So I'm assuming he needs to answer in some sort of pun related to his name, Klaus Hallowmantle.

However, my brain is smoother than... I can't think of anything to compare it to all of a sudden. Oh well. Anyone who can help me with this?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Hipster_Fox
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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Not cool Dad...not cool

So my dad's telling my relatives the story of how my mom was in labor for 12 hours so they named me 'Laura' which if you say it in Vietnamese accent it's 'Lau-ra' which means "Long time to come out"...

IMAGINE FINDING OUT AFTER 21 YEARS YOUR NAME IS A FUCKING PUN ..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stneutron
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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circles

An ant named seg is trying to reach its anthill

A girl tries to irritate it by putting a glass over it. secant she how tangent is getting. i guess it will diameter before it reaches its anthill. it would be pretty sad for its family though, as segment a lot to them. We could just say, it couldn't escape it's circle of life. well, after his untimely death, his family has arranged a funeral for him and chordiallly invited all its relatives.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tikkarice
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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Say what you want about dad jokes...

...but they're all relatively funny

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BossJackWhitman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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I knew everyone on my cruise

guess it was a pretty good relation-ship

please don't execute me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/John_Deere_9400
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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Albert Einstein married his cousin Elsa

Even his marriage was relative

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πŸ‘€︎ u/siddharth_pillai
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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TIL that Both Charles Darwin and Albert Einstein married their first cousins.

For both, it’s all relative.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnFancyPants
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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Field Dressing

Hey guys, relatively new dad here. Pretty proud of myself because this came naturally. My 7 mo daughter, wife and I were hiking yesterday. My daughter was strapped to the front of me, and she started to stink. We found a field to lay her on her changing mat and change her diaper. She had a complete explosion so it required an outfit change. I looked up at my wife and said β€œlooks like I’ll be performing a field dressing”. Corny af I know, but it made my wife laugh πŸ˜†!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ty_diesel_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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TIL the first photo was not from 1826, but in fact over 2000 years earlier in ancient egypt:

"TheΒ earliest exampleΒ of a prosthesis ever discovered is not a leg, arm, or even a fake eye, it’s a toe. A big toe, belonging to a noblewoman, was found in Egypt and dated to between 950-710 B.C.E"

...the very, very first faux toe ;)

Non pun related, the egyptians were the first to grind lenses too, not used as glasses but instead inserted into statues for creepy eye effects

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πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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[need for help] Pun experts, share the best pun you know about academia/professors/education/writing for grants. Any help deeply appreciated!

EDIT: We plan to place it on the mug as a gift, so it should be relatively short

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sedulas
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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My brother was caught stealing fruit last night...

Didn't know I was related to a waterfelon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RROB2000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my Dad β€œWhat’s the difference between weight and mass?”

β€œWell, son. Weight is your size in relation to the Earth’s gravity.

Mass is what Catholics go to Sunday morning.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shakes-Fear
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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Just horsing around...

Background: we have two horses who have their own paddocks next to each other and are both the same age but not related. My 6 year old daughter was helping me pick the horse poop up in the paddocks today.

My daughter: β€œdad are our two horses brothers or just best friends?”

I said: β€œthey are not brothers sweet heart and I am not sure they are best friends, but one things for sure - they definitely are neigh-bours.

She laughed, I laughed. It was my proudest dad joke moment ever!! Haha.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smurfman1900
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Looking for Chicken Names that are puns of Serial Killers

We are finally getting chickens! We are also obsessed with puns and serial killers. Can anyone of the much brighter minds than mine think of any good chicken related/true crime puns?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MSahnger
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I NEED HOSPITAL REALTED PUNS RIGHT NOW

I'm at the hospital and I need some hospital related puns now!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nintendo_megameme
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2016
🚨︎ report
Oman! You’re about to read some terrible stuff.

β€œI live in Spain without the β€˜s’”.

This inspired me to come up with some truly terrible country-related jokes.

It’s about to Bahrain jokes without the β€œBah”.

  1. I have a double China without the β€œa”.

  2. Some people have told me that I look a lot like a German without the β€œan”.

  3. Oman, I think that one conspiracy about Israel Israel.

  4. You all probably want to hit me with Japan without the β€œJ”.

  5. You probably can’t Kuwait to stop reading these without the β€œKu”.

  6. Nowadays, car companies are focusing on making electric cars, but I Madagascar.

  7. As you’ve probably guessed, I don’t even have one Nepal without the β€œNe”.

All of these bad jokes made me Hungary so Iran to the nearest shop to get some food. Why am I always India-r need of food?

I sincerely apologise, fellow people. These jokes probably left a painful Denmark on your souls without the β€œDen”, of course.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/anipanreads
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report

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