I was watching an EzPz vid on r/Im14andthisisdeep, and thought I'd make a meme.
A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z
I swear stairs are gonna be my d o w n fall, the way they keep s t a i r i n g at me...
A, B, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, & Z are all racists.. How do I know?
Because they're all not 'C's.
My imterviewer asked me why I put A, C, D, E, I, M, N, O, R, and T on my application.
I told him they were the letters of recommendation.
There’s a new drug going around that is nicknamed “angle”. My friends want to try it with me, but I took a D.A.R.E. course and don’t want to do drugs, so my friends make fun of me.
I guess I’m just too square to try angle.
Found on r/memes. Thought it'd be appropriate to post here
You don't often see "turtles" spelled T-U-R-D-l-e-s
because they're an endangered feces
I'd like to point out that r/dadjokes is about 100 subs away from 2 million
My father told me a million times
Never to exaggerate.
I knew you'd say that (xpost from r/TalesFromRetail)
Posted this on r/Talesfromretail and it was suggested I post here.
I used to work in store where we would ask customers if they had an account number at the check out. The number would be put in manually before putting the shopping through and the customer would get back one penny on every pound they spent.
One day a family who I hadn't seen before came in and while the mum and kids wandered off to start shopping. The dad came over to the side of my till while I was serving customers, announced his account number and then ran off to join his family without saying anything else. OK, that was weird, I went on serving.
About 10 minutes later the family are queued for my till. When it comes to the point where I should ask for their number the dad grins at me and I realise what's going on. Fortunately, I have a bizarrely good memory for numbers and, without skipping a beat, I reel off the one he gave me when he came in the store. The kids both gasp and their eyes go wide. They look at their dad in awe.
As I'm putting through the shopping, I hear the dad say:
>See? I told you they were psychic.
My friend 3D printed the letters S A T U R D A Y and S U N D A Y, and then threw those at me with maximum force.
I couldn't get up. I was completely weekend by it.
I'd have to rate this pun on a sliding scale [xpost from /r/musicmemes]
Today during a spelling test, asked a small human, “How do you spell crocodile?” They said “K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L”. I told them that was incorrect.
They responded, “Maybe I did, but you asked how I spell it.”
Found this on r/memes earlier, figured it'd be good here. God save the queen everyone...
imgur.com/dAWNU5W
Whatever you do, don't take a, s, r, d and add them to i, r, s, t, and e, and then stir...
That's a recipe for disaster.
Being a dad now, I decided to practice my dad jokes in comic form. Got no love from /r/comics so I thought I'd try my luck.
I'm not here to make you laugh. I'm here to make you groan.
I was looking into creating a 3D model for a project - I had the body already done for me and I needed to do some R&D about the rest of it. Found this really nice source reference to help me plan a head.
the-blueprints.com/bluepr…
Chandler from F • R • I • E • N • D • S is full of 'em
Frankie the Tailor: How long do you want the cuffs?
Chandler: Ah, as long as I have the pants I guess.
In response to an r/dadjokes text, I thought I'd try to get him... True dads can not be fooled at their own game.
A little Christmas song. A B C D E F G H I J K M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L...
I have updated the alphabet for festive period. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z
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