Quotes Funny Golf Puns

Some time ago I came across Winston Churchill saying: “Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose.” and absolutely loved it. That lead to a couple of hours of searching the web for more funny golf sayings by known people. Here you can read my favorites: https://thegolfeinstein.com/funny-golf-quotes/ I really enjoyed putting this article together and hope some quotes make you laugh as well. Below are some more examples: “Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?” – Al Boliska “I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone’s golf game. It’s called an eraser.” – Arnold Marc Palmer “I used to play golf with a guy who cheated so badly that he once had a hole-in-one and wrote down zero on the scorecard.” - Bob Bruce

My favorite golf quote: Winners and losers are self determined, but only the winners are willing to admit it- Dr. Bob Rotella.

Any ideas for a short inspirational golf-related quote to engrave at the bottom of a golf ball collection display piece? Thanks!

So I got my brother his annual pro v's for part of his Christmas gift. At the end of the night when he and his family were leaving, he looks to me and says. "You won't lose these if I leave then here overnight will ya?"

Gave me a real good chuck tonight thinking back on it so I figured I would share it with my r/golf pals.

I recently made a thread to post funny quotes and I feel like there have been multiple similar threads appearing ever so often. It would be great to have a pinned thread which is sorted by newest first.

Here's one by Roose from Reek III in ADwD I just came upon which I found funny for how macabre it is:

> “Again? Surely you misspeak. You never slew Lord Eddard’s sons, those two sweet boys we loved so well. That was Theon Turncloak’s work, remember? How many of our grudging friends do you imagine we’d retain if the truth were known? Only Lady Barbrey whom you would turn into a pair of boots. Inferior boots. Human skin is not as tough as cow hide and will not wear as well. By the King's decree, you are now a Bolton, try an act like one."

What do you think are the most iconic/funny BTS quotes amongst ARMYs?

Jin:

• “World Wide Handsome”
• ”R-Revolution E-Evolution D-Drop in the ocean/drobbleution”
• “Smell”
• ”P-A-S-T-A Pasta P-I-Z-Z-A pizza”
• ”Kim Seokjin” (the team names in run BTS would always be Kim Seokjin)
• ”Brad Pitt”
• “I don’t have think”
• “ I don't have friends….Ahh BTS! my friends!”

Suga:

• ”Min Suga Genius. The two words should be enough. ┐(´～｀)┌“
• ”Jhoooooope”
• ”Infires Man!”
• “Kaepjjang”
• ”Jjang Jjang Man Boong Boong”
• “Swag”
• “You Know BTS?”
• ”Uh huh listen, boy. My first love story”
• “like puppy”
• “I’m a bad boy”
• “It’s so hot ARMY because…..of you”
• “Eat Sleep Work”
• “I own the copyrights!”

J-hope

• “I’m your hope, you’re my hope, I am J-hope!”
• ”I hate snakeu”
• “ I don’t care” (kind of new. Not really iconic yet, but I think it should be.)
• ”dirty water”
• ”oh my god my heart”
• ”I like kimchi fried rice… and sprite.”
• ”I like hamburger and sprite”
• ”Sorry. We’re on an important business”

Rm

• ”Ya’ll Know my name is Rap monster, not Dance monster. Yah know it’s R-A-P monster. It D-A-N-C-E monster.”
• “Strong Power Thank You.”
• “Jimin… you got no jams.”
• ”When your hungry Chicken is the best.”
• “Pornesian Parapio”
• “Haters gonna hate, player gonna play, live your life man good luck”
• ”Why you sad? I don’t know nan molla”
• “can I have some bottle of watah! harry potah! professah! shut up Malfoy shut up!”
• "It's a fish bread but not fish bread. Ain't no fish inside."
• If I get a BTS tattoo, it may very well be bungeoppang with the words "AIN'T NO FISH INSIDE." I love it that much.

Jimin

• “Excuse Me”
• ”I’m so Lovely, You so Lovely, We so Lovely. lovely Lovely Lovely.”
• “Oh Tony”
• “Milk”
• ”Jimin you nice keep going”
• ”We have different Clothes”
• “Don’t worry, I’m not afraid”
• ”Good Morning”
• “ lachimolala”
• “Sexy, cute, lovely.”

V

• ”I’m God”
• ”Turn Up”
• ”Jiminie Pabo”
• ”Do you know what purple means? Purple is the last color of the rainbow, so it means I will trust and love you for a long time. I just made that up.”
• ”Panda Express”
• “Color Changing Soup”
• ” Let's sleep”
• “I’m good boy”
• “Not Not No”
• “sh!t down!”
• “He failed.”

Jungkook

• “I like country side!”
• ”Charlie Puss”
• ”International Playboy”
• “Oh man holy Sh**”
• ”I know her face, but I don’t know her name“
• ”Let’s Get It”
• ”Ding Dong”
• “Trusfrated”
• Party Party yeaaaahh I say this now everytime I am out “
• I’m not drunk. It’s just that I’m

Saw this in another sub and thought it would be funny to see GG quotes!

Senior quotes are due and I need input. I’ll let y’all know what I chose

Was watching a random episode earlier and totally forgot about the line "Why are you touching dead naked people?" Bonus points to who knows what episode that is from and why it was said.

My neighbor and I are fans of rival football teams. We usually play an early weekend round every week..

We came up with this goofy game a couple weeks ago, when football season started.

First, we dress in team colors (lame I know)

So here is how it works. We score the round like a football game.

Pars are field goals: 3 points

Birdies are touchdowns: 7 points

Bogeys and double are punts: No points

Worse than Double are turnovers giving your opponent a short field: Tee off from most forward tee on the next hole.

OB is an injury and that player (club) needs to leave the game for 2 holes.

Pretty silly but it was fun so I thought I would share.

Could u drop the exact page number and context?!?!?

I have this group of friends from school we have a group chat and we say the funniest random stuff so I have a screenshots folder all the way back to like the 5th grade (2018) and everybody knew about it except for a new person who joined our group we befriended her because people bullied her and we felt bad anyways she is super funny and I guess I never told her about it but today I posted a screenshot of something she said you really had to be there to understand it it has a lot of context so basically an inside joke and she said why are you taking photos of what I say I told her we all take screenshots of our quotes to laugh at later and she said how can I trust you to not leak my messages I told her we are her friends we would never do something like that and she said I doubt it and I told her we really would not because our 1 rule is to not leak anything like what happens in LA stays in LA and she said it is still creepy so you need to delete your screenshots and I told her I can do whatever I want with my phone and tablet and computer and she got upset and left our chat aita

On Wednesday I played a nice track and shot an 83 which I was so pumped about one of my lowest rounds ever.

Went to the range this morning and couldn’t event get a single ball to take flight with my irons….. golf is a cruel mistress

I’m nearing in on bagging at least one club from every single major OEM.

I got a ping 4 hybrid this morning thanks to some Christmas money and my bag is now this (granted with a couple extra clubs I’d take out for serious rounds)

Taylormade sim driver

Titleist ts2 3W

Cobra speedzone tour 5W

Ping g410 4H

Srixon zx utility 3i (might be selling this one soon unfortunately)

Mizuno mp52 irons

Titleist sm7 gap and sm8 sand wedge

Callaway md4 lob wedge

Cleveland hb soft 11 putter

What major brand am I missing out on?

CT to Diem on the first daily where they had to cover themselves in honey and wipe it off each other's body: "I'm going to molest you up there"

Vinny telling Sarah how he went home with a new girl the day after he broke up with his ex and stayed with a new girl for the next 2 weeks but it's okay because he didn't sleep with all them, some were fat girls. Sarah, baffled, just accepts this man has single digit IQ and is amazed at his stupidity. Character acceptance is a refreshing turn and this dude is a dunce.

Jasmine saying she'd commit suicide if she had to date Tyrie, like holy shit that's rude as hell. This whole hate wild. Then after Tyrie tells her off he moons her and he gets punched by her. Def on Tyries side right here. Why didn't Jasmine get kicked out?

VINNY RIPPED OFF MANDI'S SHIRT WTF. Wes's defense of Mandi was kinda cringey with his "boys" lol AND THEN VINNY THROWS MANDI INTO AN ELIMINATION SHEEEEEESH. At least he's sent home but why is everyone surprised? V sad Sarah got sent home though. Vinny was quite a douche.

Love seeing Wes lose his faux tough guy act from Rivals. That shit was so cringe.

Poor Dustin getting stitches in his knee and is sent home. That sucks.

They gave the correct answers for trivia ❤️ why don't they always do this???

Launching people at an awkward rotating angle 30 feet into water is not the safest method for trivia MTV, not surprised there were several injuries

TJ was wearing a "stay strong" shirt which is a foundation to support injured bmx bikers. Nice touch.

Very interesting to see this version of CT with Diem after these past 2 seasons.

"It's gonna come down to camila-seconds if you will" - bananas lol

Every woman who is good at stuff is compared to a guy, Mark Long commented that after Emily destroys Cara in the pole wrestle

Camila melt downs are something else. Pretty okay with less blacking out on the show.

Very glad therapy is a thing these days because the whole "discussion" Diem and CT needed to have should've happened years ago.

The wedding memento daily was hilarious lmao they had to put on a suit and dress, dig up a garter, eat 2 layers of cake, change a tire, then carry the bride 150 yards to out on rings 🤣🤣

CAMILA REASSURED EMILY THAT BLACK FACE WAS OKAY OMFG WHAT THE HELL... holy shit Camila just doesn't get it either. Neither does Emily. OOOOOF.

Wait then Mark just casually drops that Emily was in a religious cult???? I think it's reasonable for her, Camila though, yikes 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

It seems like my insurance company were being deliberately slippery when I asked for the quote. They told me that the reg number I'd been given by the dealer wasn't showing anything on their system. But when I tried the same reg number on an different companies website it came up right away as a Golf 8 R unfortunately I wasn't able to complete the requirements to get a quote from that site because it was assuming I already owned it and it was registered in my name which obviously wasn't the case.

Some amazing words of wisdom from my late great grandmother (translated from her native language). "If a man is giving you a difficult time and you 'think' you love him: rub one out instead. He isn't special".

We are are worth so much more, and we shouldn't waste our time on men who give us headaches and heartache instead of unconditional love and orgasms.

It's even more amazing to me as she was a daughter of a priest, was born in the early 1900's and came from an extremely sexist culture, where women had arranged marriages and had to stay virgins until marriage.

TLDR: my great grandmother was an early advocate of post nut clarity.