cape abilities.
Because he was simply outstanding in his field.
I can't tell you how proud that makes me.
It’s kinda a big dill.
A buck-an-ear!
I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!
Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasn’t expecting this!
Oops, wrong sub.
I said I’d nominate her for the SAG awards.
The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
2021
It still wouldn’t tell me why it crossed the road.
“Come in, make a seat”
It was a catasstrophy.
The librarian whispers "They're right behind you."
Oops, wrong sub.
I wish I could post a picture here, but it says, "Dad Jokes are how eye roll."
It's a meta-Dad joke. I'm so proud of her!
it’s just to make hens meet.
You just say to your family member - "Did you hear someone in the family is part owl?"
They'll reply with "who?" And you look at them with a raised eyebrow.
Tell this joke over dinner if youd like to be the life of the party. You're welcome.
The bartender says, “pal, if you want punch, you’ll need to get in line.”
The guy looks around and there is no punch line.
Just so glad She's now finally independent..
"Can't turn that down."
Would have just been cheaper to get pi
Call it the Stan Lee Cup.
...but it's the wurst.
It was groundbreaking.
It was littering.
He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.
I just couldn't deal with it.
I stand corrected!
I heard parents named their children lance a lot.
First post please don't kill me
Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!
Sorry, officer. They’re all pretty mediocre.
A gummy bear.
.. but all I got was 20,000 matches.
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
I don't buy it.
They’re selling out at an alarming rate.
He went on to shout, “No! Not the kryptonite!” A little confused, I said “that’s Superman.” “Thank you!” he laughed. “I’ve been practicing a lot.”
But he year 2000 was the naughtiest.
A Penny shaved is a Penny urned.
I just felt too constricted
A-buck-an-ear!
Sorry if its not that good.
It was a small price toupee
