What’s the difference between a pregnant lady and a lightbulb?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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Two Pregnant Ladies

Two pregnant ladies meet at the prenatal care unit. They quickly hit it off and can't wait to start hanging out. They have ladies nights on Mondays, double dates with their husbands on Wednesdays, but on Fridays they decided to learn Karate. The instructor at the dojo reluctantly accepts, against the advice of his understudy. Go figure, two weeks in, both ladies have their water break. The instructor tells his understudy,

"quick, call my Optometrist!"

The understudy responds, "What? No, I should call for an ambulance. Why would I call your Optometrist at a time like this?"

"Because my pupils are dilating!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guythedestroyer
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2014
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A lady happily tells her husband, holding a testpack result. "Darling, I'm pregnant!"

Tears running the husband's eyes, he says "Hi pregnant, I'm dad"

(x-post from r/Jokes)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/radixhidayat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2015
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If a pregnant woman goes swimming

Does that make her a human submarine?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Davido808
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2017
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Dumb uncle

A lady is 9 months pregnant and is in a car accident. Turns out she was pregnant with twins and they had to an emergency C-section. She wakes up the next day and asks about her babies. Nurse tells her that her brother showed up and he named them. Fear stricken because her brother is an idiot she asks the nurse to bring in the first one, a girl, nurse tells her that she was named Denise. She thinks to herself well that's not bad. What is the boys name? Danephew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ActionJaxon325
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2016
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Pregnant Woman

I was in the store with my dad the other day when he pointed to a pregnant lady and said "someone's been poking fun at her." "why?"..pause.."ohmygod"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lasheyosh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2014
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