I promised my new girlfriend the sun, the moon and the stars....
So, I took her to the planetarium.
What did the Sun say to the Moon when it came home after it’s curfew?
“Have you been out all night?”
A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."
The Sun and Moon walked into a coffee shop today...
Sun: "Oh man, I forgot my wallet!"
Moon: "Don't worry, I'll cover you."
My neighbour got bit by a female deer and starts acting like one on a full moon...
My son grows a lot of fur and manufactures products of art or craft on nights when the moon is full...
I was outside, laying down, at night, admiring the stars and the moon
How does the moon give the sun a great hairdo?
My kids recently been super obsessed with the moon and my wife is starting to get worried.
I told her not to worry, it’s only a phase.
When the moon hits your knees and you mispronounce trees
My daughter asked me who is older, the sun or the moon.
When I answered that the sun was older, she said:
"The moon is older because she can go out at night"
Well played.
How does the sun say hi to the moon?
NASA put a watch around a potted plant and sent it on a rocket to the sun. I said to my Daughter, "don't worry, it will be ok.."
"a watched pot never boils"
I was floating around in space wondering why the moon was getting bigger and bigger.
What’s the difference between the night and the moon?
Nightstands but Moonwalks
When the moon hits the sand and an eel bites your hand
What did the Sun say when the Moon kissed it?
The sun is hot, and bright... I look up to the sun. :)
Know the difference between sun and no sun?
You really should. Its night and day
My wife yelled, “Hey, the sun’s coming out!” So I wore my shorts and flip flops and came downstairs.
Found my son holding hand with his boyfriend.
I had a friend who started crying and said he somehow once saw the sun rising in the west instead of the east.
He thought it was upsetting.
After a long and terrible Autumn, the Sun was shining once again and the trees were finally put at ease.
Why does the moon always lose when racing the sun?
Because night skies finish last.
I met Buzz Aldrin once and asked how he felt being the second man on the moon...
"Well…" he said. "It could have been anyone. Right up until we landed, we hadn't decided who would be first out the door. Then, once we touched down, Neil suggested we flip for it."
"And he won?" I said.
"Well, no…" he mumbled. "The coin was still in the air when Neil jumped down the ladder, the big jerk."
What’s the difference between an Oklahoman marsupial and a conspirator who lives on the moon?
One is a Sooner lemur and the other is a lunar schemer.
You know, sometimes, as I lie in bed, looking up into the great night sky, counting each star and watching the moon slowly float by, I think to myself:
"Where the fuck is my roof?"
My physicist girlfriend told me that she loves me to the moon and back.
I’m worried she means displacement, not distance.
What's the difference between a moon rock and a earth rock?
Yesterday two astronauts got lost on the dark side of the moon. It was cold and scary, but
on the bright side they had a blast playing in the craters.
The police are looking for a man who is running up to strangers and blocking the sun from reaching them
They describe him as a shady character
When you look at the sky and see the moon
You're looking at a subtle light
I like to keep a photo of the Sun on my phone. When people ask me if I have any kids, I start telling 'em about my son and how bright he is. I then pull out the phone to show them the photo.
bread and the sun are similar - both rise in the yeast
What did the moon say to the sun?
“Hello Sun.”
What did the sun say to the moon?
“Dad?”
How does the moon give the sun a haircut?
How does the moon give the sun a hair cut?
Do you know why the Moon is older than the Sun?
Because the Moon goes out at night.
I got lost on the dark side of the moon the other day. It was cold and scary, but
on the bright side the craters were a lot of fun to explore!
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