Pocket Change Puns

And now my wife is getting accused of laundering money

Saint Nickel-Less

The captain's quarters

It was clothes-quarters combat.

That was my pocket change

Luckily the bullet was deflected by the loose change in my breast pocket, you could say it was my life savings

Sometimes I put it in my pocket to change things up

The sun shone into my office through the lowered blinds all clumsy like, fumbling through the gaps between the venetian slats like a drunk fishing for loose change in his pockets; trying to see if he has money enough for one last drink or maybe the bus ride home.

The dame looked me up and down, clearly disappointed by what sat in front of her. I didn’t blame her. Three days of salt and pepper stubble clung to my my crude boxer’s jaw and the bags under my eyes were so big half the bums downtown could sleep in there and not even know anyone else was with 'em. That was ok. This broad wasn’t hiring me for my looks and I wasn’t looking to her for approval. We both knew what brought her in here, it was the name on the door.

Max Dad P.I. - that’s me. Private Investigator’s sure not the profession my mother would have picked out for me, but it keeps me in whisky and it keeps a roof over my head and that’ll do for now. The dame parted those cherry red lips of hers as she took another pull on that just-lit cigarette and nervously stubbed it out in the ashtray. My eyebrows knit together slightly. I hate seeing things go to waste.

“So as I was saying, Mr Dad,” she began.

“Please, call me Max”

“Alright, Max… well, as I was saying, my bag is missing. Stolen, I think. I urgently need it back. Shall I describe it to you?”

“No that’s alright miss. You got nothing to worry about,” I replied, sliding a bottle out of the desk drawer and pouring a big slug of scotch into to my morning coffee, “I’m sure it’ll be a brief case.”

So my wife is 3 months pregnant and hit me with this. Went out this morning and was excited that I found a couple of sand dollars. Got back to the hotel and two had broke in my pocket. She quickly responded with, well at least you have some sand change.

He bought his coffee and paid with a £10 note and got his change which included a new £5 note which is plastic and still fairly uncommon. The woman serving said:

"This is the first time I've seen these, see cause it's plastic do you think you could leave it in your pocket and wash it and it would be ok?"

"You can't do that, it's illegal."

"How's it illegal?"

"It's money laundering" he said with a sly grin.

.. I lost my atm card, and when i changed into my jeans i found it in my pocket and also $10 in my other pocket.. I said "stop looking i found it" and said "i found my card in my jeans and also $10... She said "see it pays to check your pockets".. I honestly didn't think she had it in her

I was working the register (took a pity shift in the front end department) when I ran out of pennies. I paged my boss to come over and get me change.

Boss: Look, you have a penny on your POS, and I have one in my pocket here.

Me: That may not last very long, can I still get change?

Customer: C'mon man, cut the guy a break. He's just putting in his 2 cents on the situation.

His daughter groaned.

Was at my girlfriends graduation when the valedictorian said something about embracing change. Girlfriends Step-dad reached in his pocket, pulled out a nickel and handed it to my girlfriends brother and said "here ya go. Embrace it."

when I took off my jeans and the change in my pocket went all over the floor. So guy from another team in the stall next to me than responded with

"oh are you have trouble with the change ?"

We both had ourselves a good chuckle