[Saturday Evening, 24th June 1509]
“What should I speake or write, of the supteous fine, and delicate meates, prepared for this high and honorable coronacio, prouided for aswel in the parties beyond the sea, as in many and sii- dery places, within this reaime, where God so abudantly hath sent suche plentie and foy- son: Or of the honorable ordre of the seruices, the clcanc handelyng & breakyng of meates, the ordryngof the dishes, with the plctifull abundannce. So that none of any estate bee- yng there, did lacke, nor no honorable or vvor.shipfull personc, went vnfeasted. The se- onde course beyng serued : in at the haule doore entered a knight, armed at all poyntes, is bases rich tissue embroudered, a great plume & a supteous of Oistriche fethers on his co his helmet, sittyng on a great courser, trapped in tissue, and embroudered with tharmes of England, and of Fraunce, and an herauld of armes before hym. And passing through the halle preseted himself with humble reuerence, before the kynges maiestie, to who, Garter kyng of herauldes, cried and said with a loude voyce, sir knight from whece come you, and what is your pretence: This knightes name was sir Robert Dimmocke, Champion to the kyng, by tenure of his enheritenace, who answered thesaid kyng of Armes, in effect after this maner: Sir, the place that I come from, is not material, nor the cause of my repair hether, is not concernyng any matter, of any place or country, but onely this. And there with all, commaunded his Heraulde to make an Oyes : then saied the knight, to the kyng of armes, now shal ye here, the cause of my commyng and pretence. Then he commaunded his awne Herauld, by Proclamacion to saie : if there be any persone, of what estate or degree souer he be, that wil saie or proue. That king Henry the eight, is not the rightfull enheritor, and kyng of this realme, I sir Robert Dimmoke here his Champion, offre my gloue, to-fight in his querell, with any persone to thutteraunce, whiche Proclamacion was made in sundery places of the halle: And at euery tyme, his gauntlet caste doune, in the maintenaunce thereof. After whiche seuerall proclamacios doen, and offers made, thesaid knight or champion, eftsones repairs to the kynges presence, demaundyng drinks, to who the kynges grace sent a cup of gold, with wine.”
“The next daie approched, they
... keep reading on reddit ➡I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”
“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.
1.1 Pie-lette (35:30)
When Aunt Lily shoots the burglar, Chuck is obscured by the doorway on Lily's right side. The show explains this as a lack of visual perspective due to Lily's eye patch. However, it is Lily's right eye with the eye patch. For Chuck to be obscured on Lily's right side, Lily's left eye would have to be the one with the eye patch.
This is a simple logic error due to a miss understanding of binocular vision. You can see this for yourself by holding your hand out in front of your face to obscure an object in the distance. By closing one eye and then the other you can see which eye is seeing the object and which eye is seeing the hand. Like Lily, one eye saw Chuck and one eye saw the wall.
The doctor says it terminal.
Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat
Do your worst!
How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.
Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.
But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
He lost May
Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.
Gender is fluid.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
And now I’m cannelloni
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
And boy are my arms legs.
Amy
Put it on my bill
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
Calcium, nickel, neon
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Pilot on me!!
Until he discovered it was extra sharp.
The new special reminded me of an old Louis bit. (I'm pretty sure it's a Louis bit, if not I hope you can still help) Where Louis has an urge to be a dick and wants to punch a bunch of pies that a woman made. A YouTube link or lett me know what special it's from would be very helpful.
He’s the new temp.
