Physio Christmas Puns

Hi all,

I'm currently dating a physio and trying to get organized for Christmas. I know that she had a reflex hammer that she liked but it sort of fell apart and she has yet to replace it. I'm hoping someone here could recommend me something like the "gold standard" of reflex hammers lol. I looked on amazon but didn't want to pull the trigger on any of them as they didn't seem special. Hoping not to spend more than $300, but I have no concept of how much a quality one of these costs. Thank you!

I just need a place to vent. I have struggled on and off with opioid abuse for almost four years now. I had recently managed to stay clean for about 6 months and I've been doing pretty well in my second year of university.

Near the end of my first semester, my back started to really bother me again. I'm a pretty tall guy and I have dealt with back pain for many years now but it seemed to just be getting worse. Of course I booked an appointment with my campus physio, but my addict brain needed that instant relief so I went ahead and ordered some kratom online. It did help with my back, but more importantly, it felt really great. I spent the next month chugging green sludge multiple times per day, consuming an ungodly amount of grapefruit juice in the process. I had convinced myself that this was an excellent long-term solution.

Of course the euphoria left me wanting more. By the Christmas break, I couldn't help but think about heroin. I had nearly a month to myself, which I figured was plenty of time for me to binge and recover before my second semester began. Once I flew home, I chucked my bag of kratom and did exactly that. I've experienced the anguish of withdrawal many times, but at this point my fiend mindset had no consideration for what I would be putting my future self through.

I ran out of heroin five days ago and have been suffering cold turkey since. I may not have used for as long as some other people on this sub but a couple weeks for me is enough to put me through hell afterwards. I'm angry at myself for allowing this to happen again.

I understand kratom is helpful for withdrawls but if you don't need it for that then please don't buy it. As in my case it could trigger a full relapse.

I'm a nurse and am absolutely livid.

I need two hands to count all of the work Christmas parties planned and still happening this weekend. Everyone from Residents, PA's, Nurses, RT's, Physio’s and other Allied Health mainly at HSC and St. B. Most of these parties usually end up with 15-30+ in attendance, and I'm sure there's more planned but this is only what I've heard personally. Without naming units, many of them care for extremely vulnerable patients who will likely end up on a vent or die if they get Covid.

Thanks for listening to my rant. Maybe I'm just burnt out, but I'm worried for my patients over the next week or two because of the conduct of the general public and some of my colleagues.

I’ll also add that this is not the majority, many units have decided to forgo their Christmas parties, but lots haven’t.

Do your worst!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

So I'm a pretty active cyclist, and was riding about 10 hours a week during the summer. I finally hit the 100 mile goal in August, and I was really looking forward to a bit of inter-club league racing in the 2022. I came to road from XC and really want to do a small bit of racing again next year but I really don't think it's gonna happen.

So in May I got a new bike, a Giant TCR. It's a fuckin machine and I love it. I really ramped up my load during the summer, and noticed a niggle or two in July in my upper right hamstring, so took some time off, and then kept the load up(which was a terrible idea) and it slowly came back in in August, so I took more time off, and saw a physical therapist (not a physio, silly of me, he was across the road from my house). He gave me a shitty, incorrect diagnosis of "it's hamstring knots, stopping me from injuring it further". I took his advice of a few simple stretches and then tried to reduce my load. That went on till mid November until I went to my club social night and they all thought it was the wrong idea going to this physical therapist so I took their advice and found a proper chartered physio.

I saw the physio at the end of Nov and they gave me a proper diagnosis, of high hamstring tendonitis, brought on by the sudden increase of load during the summer which made a load of sense and it infuriates me how long I messed around before seeing a bloody professional. He gave me strength work to do, less cycling and a little bit of running, with the clear instruction of a max increase of load (week on week) of 20%.

So the past few weeks I've cut back completely on outdoor cycling, tried to keep my zwift amount down and ensure I run a bit and do strength work. I've ran a little bit more than I should the last few days and haven't gotten to the gym for strength work because of Christmas, omicron surge and a bit of laziness. I felt my hamstring get a little tender yesterday and it's made me more upset than Id like to admit (during Christmas of all days).

I know I'm ranting here, but I'm fucking exasperated. I've lost all the progress I made this summer, with no real idea of how far I am from recovery and I feel like my usual club mates have progressed far beyond anything I could reach in a few weeks or even months of training. I can't figure out where I am in my recovery and I honestly I feel like shit. I have nothing to aim for now, I feel shit and I constantly get FOMO from my club mates Strava (I know I can't ride for

Throwaway username because not everyone here is kind and I don’t need to be beaten up more than I already have been.

Four weeks ago a speeding driver ran a stop sign and hit my car, decimating the front of my car and pushing it off the road. I was tooling along a local residential road, going the speed limit as I drove home. I didn’t see it coming. Suddenly my airbags deployed. My eyeglasses were gone. I was instantly in terrible pain.

I was given pain meds and ice packs by paramedics and they splinted my arm before taking me by ambulance to the hospital where I was examined, x-rayed and released.

I could hardly walk -- apparently I strained an MCL. My hand and wrist immediately turned black from bruising and I was told I had a wrist compression injury. My chest was swollen, black and purple and very sore. Apparently on impact I had bit my tongue and now a lumpy chunk of it looked like bleeding ground meat.

In the days to come, I had trouble walking due to knee pain. I could not dress myself or get in and out of bed unassisted. I could not work. I could not cook or even open a jar. Thankfully I was able to stay with family as my insurance advisor told me that my injuries were determined to be “minor” so I was not eligible for any care attendant assistance.

I was assigned two claims advisors. Both of them sent forms to an incorrect e-mail address. One of them sent me “fillable” forms for physiotherapy, but the fields wouldn’t fill. Even a helpful family member who is a computer professional could not get the fields to fill.

My claims advisor recommended a physiotherapy clinic, and I went there the following week. This clinic was located at the end of a dark plaza near an empty storefront, a bar and a convenience store. The office was dimly lit, visibly unclean, and the intake person noted sarcastically that “nobody else has problems” with the forms. She also pressured me to sign other forms without reading them, telling me there was no need to read them as “they’re just standard forms so that we can get paid”.

During the brief treatments I was in pain, perched precariously on a narrow table -- provided with one flat bed-pillow. The treatment room was cluttered. The carpet was visibly dirty. The trash cans overflowed with paper and tissue. The room’s large windows faced a dark parking lot.

The place seemed sketchy. I felt like there might be an illegal poker game playing out in a back room. This is the place my insurer recommended for my medical h

Pilot on me!!

Ive just been offered a job with a company in the states. They will essentially hire me as a contractor and pay just cash. They told me to find my price and I’m having a hard time trying to figure this out.

Currently i work at a startup. 85k salary. -3weeks vacay, 5 personal days. 1.5weeks off during Christmas. -1k allowed for continuing education

• 4% of salary rrsp contribution matchup -1.2k in options ever year

benefits

• 4k in services like physio, psychiatry
• 1k in cleaning i believe (essentially 2 cleans a year covered 100%)

1-2k in miscellaneous gifts and wfh perks

I was thinking 100-105k is a decent price to leave my job for a contract gig. What do y’all think?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

They’re on standbi

I (29m) work as a cabinet maker (ie; turning sheets of processed timber into cabinets and furniture, then installing them into houses). This is a relatively recent career change, I have been in the job about 3 months, and I am a mature aged 1st year apprentice. I have hurt my back. It is in my lower back, and it is a constant niggling pain that occasionally flares up into a stabbing pain that extends into my hips and glutes. This started around the same time I started my new job, but I foolishly thought the pain could be managed with stretching, and to some extent it could. I put up with a constant small level of pain in order to smash through work and not cause problems for my new employers. Recently, work has been very intense in the lead up to Christmas. Last week I did 7 hours of overtime in 2 days. I was exhausted and it really tweaked my back because, as an apprentice, I do the lions share of the lifting and carrying. Cut to this week, and my back is a stiff board made of fire. I can't remember being in this much pain and I haven't been this inflexible in a long time. I got through to Tuesday morning, then halfway through packing the truck full of timber panels in which my strength was at about 40% and my back was sending stabbing pains into my hips and shoulders, I had to call it. I told my boss what was going on, left work, went to the doctor. She asked me what was up, I said I hurt my back at work. She asked me if this was going to be a work cover claim. I said I guess so. She asked me how long ago I injured my back. I explained about the long term niggling issue that had flared up recently. She referred me for a ct scan and to the physio. Now, my boss is mad. Or at least he is pretending to be mad so that he doesn't have to fork out the insurance for my work cover. He is getting my colleagues to call me and interrogate me about how long ago I first felt pain etc in order to dismiss it. But the culture at work is always to suck it up and work through pain. Plus, there is no manual lifting training offered, or much in the way of manual lifting aids. He only bought a trolley (one of those standing three wheeled ones for stairs) last week. The guy is allergic to putting out any form of expenditure and just wants to place everything on his employees and expect nothing to go wrong. He is searching for ways to dismiss my work cover claim. I am very stressed and don't know what to do. Please help...

Edit: I am located in Sydney

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

About 3 weeks ago I woke up and was unable to get out of bed. I had shooting pain in my left hip that was consistent with sciatica. After about 30 mins I was able to work out how to move with less pain to get myself about my home. This happened on a Friday and I saw my doc on Monday. Some movements like a deep squat had zero pain.

Fast forward a few weeks and I've been to two physio sessions and have been doing cobra pose regularly. Towards the end of the day I feel quite a bit better, but my gait is very limited. I'm now feeling some numbness/burning in my quad occasionally. Moving to a hard mattress has made mornings feel better.

I suspect I am extremely lucky compared to the vast majority of posters here because it seems that I'm not experiencing disc-related pain, but I now I have some idea of how you suffer. I'm interested in know what the prognosis is for this sort of issue? I work at my desk all day, but did vigorous cycle training 3-4 days a week and was planning to do a 55-mile ride next June when I got hit by sciatica.

I feel like I'm in limbo. This is not feeling significantly better in terms of movement and the pain will come back on some mornings quite hard. I've heard people comment on stages of sciatica and seen people say the numbness is expected. What more should I be asking my physiotherapist?

More detailed history

• Before August: running and cycling at least 3-4 days a week. I push speed efforts pretty hard on the bike and was running 5-7K. I don't have a running or cycling physique and have some extra pounds. Friends don't think that I could run 6-7 miles.
• August: was lifting my toddler in a poor position reaching forward. I felt a tiny ping in my hip, but no real pain. The next week was tough, but felt like a muscular injury. I healed up in under two weeks. A massage therapist focused on the area after I explained what had happened and they commented on my general tightness.
• Mid/late-September: felt great to run and cycle again and ramped up gradually.
• December: was carrying a light but large box again out in front (holiday gift) the evening before the onset of the problem. Thinking more, I was doing this type of thing over several days between big boxes down stairs, toddler out of crib, christmas tree etc. I was really pushing it hard on my bike and only a piriformis stretch (one leg across the other) was getting near where this pain erupted.

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

“BOOM”?!

I'm on Trikafta so lungs are relatively clear but i have quite bad shortness of breath. Almost like i have a block resting on my chest. Airways feel very tight & I'm quite fatigued. I went to see cf Dr who said it wasn't an infection, but that was 4 wks ago & I'm now struggling. Unfortunately, my cf team won't be in hosp until Wednesday due to Christmas Bank Holiday & i can't risk going to my local A&E as its over run with covid cases & other problems & my they're not really good at treating cf patients with infections. So I'd rather wait it out. I do have Aspers but at last blood test it was very controlled & low. I'm keeping on top of my ventolin & physio & done covid tests just incase.

"That's what they're fighting about."

Just before Christmas, Dec 22 I believe. I was turning onto a main street and was hit by a car who went through a hashed out lane (it was removed to extend the yield lane). I was half way through the turn when I looked to my right and the car was hitting me. They hit me so hard my car jack knifed into them and pushed approx 3 feet of my car into itself. Air bags deployed by my feet and face but was lucky not to be rag dolled nor did I tense up.

My side for the most part feels similar to pulling a muscle as it hurts to do certain motions and sometimes when I breath. It's been difficult to get any medical attention as I need to go through my insurance till the other driver is deemed at fault. I've called my family Dr to get an apt as well as insurance is setting me up with physio next week.

Ive never been in this situation and I really hope any damage isn't permanent as I work in a labour intensive field and I really do not want it effecting what I have work wise.

What should I expect through this process? I've never had this happen before and it's all a bit to take in. Would anyone have any advice? Are there some do's and don'ts I need to be aware of?

Thanks in advanced for anyone who replies.

Because his Visa didn’t work.