Philippe Noiret Puns

Spoilers ahead I

I have another question for quest for glory 4. I am on day 11 night time and i am rescuing tanya. I have given her the doll but she would not come home. I have heard something about a destiny spell. I don't know what to do next. Any assistance appreciated

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Best Picture

1. Who Framed Roger Rabbit

2. The Last Temptation of Christ

3. Die Hard

3. Grave of the Fireflies

5. My Neighbor Totoro

6. Rain Man

7. Cinema Paradiso

8. A Fish Called Wanda

9. Beetlejuice

10. Big

Best Director

1. Robert Zemeckis for Who Framed Roger Rabbit
2. Martin Scorsese for The Last Temptation of Christ
3. Hayao Miyazaki for My Neighbor Totoro
4. Barry Levinson for Rain Man
5. Errol Morris for The Thin Blue Line

Best Lead Actor

1. Dustin Hoffman as Ray Babbitt in Rain Man
2. Willem Dafoe as Jesus in The Last Temptation of Christ
3. Tom Hanks as Josh Baskin in Big
4. Bob Hoskins as Eddie Valiant in Who Framed Roger Rabbit
5. Tom Cruise as Charlie Babbitt in Rain Man

Best Lead Actress

1. Glenn Close as Marquise Isabelle de Merteuil in Dangerous Liaisons

1. Jodie Foster as Sarah Tobias in The Accused

3. Jamie Lee Curtis as Wanda Gershwitz in A Fish Called Wanda

4. Sigourney Weaver as Dian Fossey in Gorillas in the Mist

5. Meryl Streep as Linda Chamberlain in A Cry in the Dark

6. Melanie Griffith as Tess McGill in Working Girl

Best Supporting Actor

1. Alan Rickman as Hans Gruber in Die Hard
2. Michael Keaton as Betelgeuse in Beetlejuice
3. Kevin Kline as Otto West in A Fish Called Wanda
4. River Phoenix as Danny Pope in Running on Empty
5. Christopher Lloyd as Judge Doom in Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Best Supporting Actress

1. Frances McDormand as Mrs. Pell in Mississippi Burning

2. Sigourney Weaver as Katharine Parker in Working Girl

3. Geena Davis as Muriel Pritchett in The Accidental Tourist

3. Barbara Hershey as Mary Magdalene in The Last Temptation of Christ

5. Michelle Pfeiffer as Madame Marie de Tourvel in Dangerous Liaisons

Best Original Screenplay

1. A Fish Called Wanda

2. My Neighbor Totoro

3. Big

3. Rain Man

5. Beetlejuice

Best Adapted Screenplay

1. Who Framed Roger Rabbit
2. Grave of the Fireflies
3. The Temptation of Christ
4. Dangerous Liaisons
5. The Naked Gun

Best Animated Film

1. Grave of the Fireflies
2. My Neighbor Totoro
3. Akira

Pilot on me!!

Something I've noticed is that there are a handful of non-British actors (mostly Americans) who have won a film BAFTA acting award but not the Oscar if they're even nominated.

Thoughts on this? I'm not sure it's a "curse"...but it's definitely a situation! Any years where you think the BAFTAs got it right over the Oscars?

And for the context of this post, I'm not referencing anyone who's won an acting Oscar, so even if this situation applied to them one year, if they won an acting Oscar in another year, I'm omitting them from the list.

I call this out because some of my favorite actors (RDJ, Sam Jackson, Michelle Pfeiffer, Jamie Lee Curtis, etc.) won the BAFTA but not the Oscar. Just something I've noticed.

LEAD ACTOR (1968 - Present; I'm not including anything earlier as there were two categories for Best British Actor and Best Foreign Actor)

• 2008: Mickey Rourke for The Wrestler; lost Oscar to Sean Penn for Milk
• 2003: Bill Murray for Lost in Translation; lost Oscar to Sean Penn for Mystic River
• 1992: Robert Downey Jr. for Chaplin; lost Oscar to Al Pacino for Scent of a Woman
• 1990: Philippe Noiret for Cinema Paradiso (wasn't nominated for the Oscar); lost to Jeremy Irons for Reversal of Fortune (wasn't nominated for the BAFTA)
• 1970: Robert Redford for Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid; Downhill Racer; and Tell Them Willie Boy is Here*; lost Oscar to George C. Scott for Patton who actually refused the Oscar on philosophical grounds.

*I'm including Robert Redford here because while he won a directing Oscar, he's never won an acting one.

LEAD ACTRESS (1968 - Present; I'm not including anything earlier as there were two categories for Best British Actress and Best Foreign Actress)

• 2012: Emmanuelle Riva for Amour; lost Oscar to Jennifer Lawrence for Silver Linings Playbook
• 2003: Scarlett Johansson for Lost in Translation (who wasn't nominated for the Oscar); lost Oscar to Charlize Theron for Monster (who was nominated for the BAFTA the following year)
• 1999: Annette Bening for American Beauty; lost Oscar to Hilary Swank for Boys Don't Cry (who was nominated for the BAFTA the following year)
• 1980: Judy Davis for My Brilliant Career (who wasn't nominated for the Oscar); lost Oscar to Sissy Spacek for Coal Miner's Daughter (who was nominated for the BAFTA the following year)
• 1973: Stephane Audran for *The Discreet

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Best Picture

1. Do the Right Thing

2. Amadeus

2. Raging Bull

4. The Empire Strikes Back

5. Back to the Future

6. Raiders of the Lost Ark

7. Blade Runner

7. The Thing

9. Ran

10. Full Metal Jacket

Best Director

1. Martin Scorsese for Raging Bull

2. Miloš Forman for Amadeus

3. Spike Lee for Do the Right Thing

3. Steven Spielberg for Raiders of the Lost Ark

5. Stanley Kubrick for Full Metal Jacket

Best Lead Actor

1. Robert De Niro as Jake LaMotta in Raging Bull
2. F. Murray Abraham as Antonio Salieri in Amadeus
3. Jack Nicholson as Jack Torrance in The Shining
4. John Hurt as John Merrick in The Elephant Man
5. Daniel Day-Lewis as Christy Brown in My Left Foot

Best Lead Actress

1. Meryl Streep as Zofia "Sophie" Zawistowski in Sophie’s Choice
2. Sigourney Weaver as Ellen Ripley in Aliens
3. Shelley Duvall as Wendy Torrance in The Shining
4. Whoopi Goldberg as Celie in The Color Purple
5. Shirley MacLaine as Aurora Greenway in Terms of Endearment

Best Supporting Actor

1. R. Lee Ermey as Gunnery Sergeant Hartman in Full Metal Jacket
2. Christopher Lloyd as Emmett "Doc" Brown in Back to the Future
3. Joe Pesci as Joey LaMotta in Raging Bull
4. Kevin Kline as Otto West in A Fish Called Wanda
5. Leslie Nielsen as Dr. Rumack in Airplane!

Best Supporting Actress

1. Nastassja Kinski as Jane Henderson in Paris, Texas

2. Oprah Winfrey as Sofia in The Color Purple

3. Ruby Dee as Mother Sister in Do the Right Thing

4. Jessica Lange as Julie Nichols in Tootsie

4. Frances McDormand as Mrs. Pell in Mississippi Burning

Best Original Screenplay

1. Back to the Future
2. Do the Right Thing
3. Paris, Texas
4. When Harry Met Sally...
5. Raiders of the Lost Ark

Best Adapted Screenplay

1. Amadeus

2. The Princess Bride

2. Raging Bull

4. Airplane!

5. Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Best Animated Film

1. Grave of the Fireflies
2. The Little Mermaid
3. My Neighbor Totoro
4. Akira
5. Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind

Best Non-English Language Film

1. Ran
2. Grave of the Fireflies
3. Cinema Paradiso
4. Fanny and A

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

Best Picture

1. Who Framed Roger Rabbit

2. The Last Temptation of Christ

3. Die Hard

3. Grave of the Fireflies

5. My Neighbor Totoro

6. Rain Man

7. Cinema Paradiso

8. A Fish Called Wanda

9. Beetlejuice

10. Big

Best Director

1. Robert Zemeckis for Who Framed Roger Rabbit
2. Martin Scorsese for The Last Temptation of Christ
3. Hayao Miyazaki for My Neighbor Totoro
4. Barry Levinson for Rain Man
5. Errol Morris for The Thin Blue Line

Best Lead Actor

1. Dustin Hoffman as Ray Babbitt in Rain Man
2. Willem Dafoe as Jesus in The Last Temptation of Christ
3. Tom Hanks as Josh Baskin in Big
4. Bob Hoskins as Eddie Valiant in Who Framed Roger Rabbit
5. Tom Cruise as Charlie Babbitt in Rain Man

Best Lead Actress

1. Glenn Close as Marquise Isabelle de Merteuil in Dangerous Liaisons

1. Jodie Foster as Sarah Tobias in The Accused

3. Jamie Lee Curtis as Wanda Gershwitz in A Fish Called Wanda

4. Sigourney Weaver as Dian Fossey in Gorillas in the Mist

5. Meryl Streep as Linda Chamberlain in A Cry in the Dark

6. Melanie Griffith as Tess McGill in Working Girl

Best Supporting Actor

1. Alan Rickman as Hans Gruber in Die Hard
2. Michael Keaton as Betelgeuse in Beetlejuice
3. Kevin Kline as Otto West in A Fish Called Wanda
4. River Phoenix as Danny Pope in Running on Empty
5. Christopher Lloyd as Judge Doom in Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Best Supporting Actress

1. Frances McDormand as Mrs. Pell in Mississippi Burning

2. Sigourney Weaver as Katharine Parker in Working Girl

3. Geena Davis as Muriel Pritchett in The Accidental Tourist

3. Barbara Hershey as Mary Magdalene in The Last Temptation of Christ

5. Michelle Pfeiffer as Madame Marie de Tourvel in Dangerous Liaisons

Best Original Screenplay

1. A Fish Called Wanda

2. My Neighbor Totoro

3. Big

3. Rain Man

5. Beetlejuice

Best Adapted Screenplay

1. Who Framed Roger Rabbit
2. Grave of the Fireflies
3. The Temptation of Christ
4. Dangerous Liaisons
5. The Naked Gun

Best Animated Film

1. Grave of the Fireflies
2. My Neighbor Totoro
3. Akira