I fell into the river in Paris.

People said I must be in Seine.

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Why don’t oysters ever share their pearls?

..they’re just shellfish

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did Delta reject the propossal to serve pastries on their flights?

Because it was a pie in the sky idea.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fphiszche
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm reading a book called "The Yellow River"

It's written by I.P. Freely

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dexley
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2021
🚨︎ report
A river is just a cloud based streaming service...

that's all folks

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/philosoaper
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2021
🚨︎ report
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...

Turns out they were Portu-Geese

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MediocreGinga
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the river-tourist call his mom to say while he was in Africa?

"mom, I can't believe it; I'm in de-nile!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/caffeine_bos
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I was walking past the river today and this guy asked me if his rod looked good. Then, he asked if I liked his net. When he continued on and asked if I was impressed by the amount of fish he had caught, I finally lost it and shouted...

"Hey buddy, quit fishing for compliments!"

πŸ‘︎ 135
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Has this been made yet?
πŸ‘︎ 272
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lumek123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2021
🚨︎ report
I have a list of friends who love palindromes!

Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
Hard to keep Track of stuff
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend said he saw a nocturnal mammal defecate in a French River

I told him thats bat shit in Seine

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chilidog0572
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
I once dreamt of crossing a wide river…

But it ended up being just a ferry tale.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What do beavers like to put on their salads?

Branch dressing.

πŸ‘︎ 528
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePwnR4nger
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
🚨︎ report
what do you call the smaller rivers that run into the nile?

the juveniles

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/roguewavesurfin
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I can't remember the name of this African river in front of me.

I must be going see Nile.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I just read the absoute best book about Pearl Jam.

Seriously, I don't know they could have made it Eddie Vedder.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know the Mississippi River is a girl?

If it was a guy it would be the misterssippi River.

πŸ‘︎ 874
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πŸ‘€︎ u/franz-hanz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the oister never share her pearls?

She was very shellfish

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RunningThing
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the kid say when he saw a gigantic concrete structure block a river for the first time?

Damn

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/patoreddit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the river sue for?

Beaver damage.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/i_post_gibberish
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Why wouldn't the oyster give up her pearl?

She was shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MikeHunt_004
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is it easier to take an F-150 across a river than a Silverado?

Bc no one ever Chevy’d a river

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/psykotic24
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Rivers are so lazy...

They never get out of their beds.

πŸ‘︎ 92
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JCraay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is it pronounced Bri ish?

Because they drank the t.

πŸ‘︎ 115
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πŸ‘€︎ u/grippin
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
🚨︎ report
When I was in high school in Belleville, ON, a young local artist spray-painted a beautiful picture on a large concrete wall under a bridge by the Moira river. He didn't get permission to do this, however, and the city eventually painted over it.

Watching his picture go like that must've been pretty demuralizing.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/levitron
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the mummy that just woke up and is still convinced he’s ruler of Egypt? When told β€˜that’s impossible’ he flew into a rage, ran away, and jumped in a river.

People say he’s in da Nile

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I heard you like Pearls Before Swine
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Emble12
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend said that its impossible for a river to move through the desert.

I told him he was in deNile.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/javerthugo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are you bringing me to this mountain river after our couple therapy session?!

Our therapist said I need to valley date you.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/audioinside
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes.

And it was performed by the child sitting behind me on Delta flight 963 from LA to Tokyo

πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Rivers are...

the original streaming service.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tao1976
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Whats the fastest thing on the river bed?

A motor-pike and side-carp.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized...

I'm in Seine.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cinnafury03
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
A man jumped into the freezing river in Paris...

Eyewitness say, the man was in-Seine.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Little story I remembered of my dad getting me good

I was about 9, local indoor water park had just opened and it had a wave machine! I was in the lazy river with my dad when the sirens came on to let people.know the wave machine is starting, I asked my dad what it was, he told me it means you have to wave and to make sure I was waving when we exited the river, I still look back on it now and think, "you dickhead"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/glazbypsn
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Nile river go brrrrrrrr
πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why panning the river in my brain, this lil' gold nugget came to me.

What do you call a Dinosaur that knows everything?

A herd-it-before!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yolosute
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Bones say to Captain Kirk at the river crossing?

Dam it, Jim (Be gentle it’s my cake day)

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Guru_in_flannel
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don’t oysters share their pearls?

Because they are shellfish

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_kimbers
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report

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