Name something that begins with the letter P that you aren’t good at?

Spelling. (sic)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProjectOcoee
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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Ey yo ese, what was the name of that P.I again?

His name was Sherlock, holmes.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DubiousOfficial
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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This old guy comes into my job all the time with dad jokes & i have to pretend they are funny. "Can you name 3 cars that start with P?"

"So there is pontiac. Porsche. Packard.. You know what a Packard is, dont ya? Or is that a little before your time? How old are you? So you know what it is then, right?" So he sets up the joke incorrectly by not giving me a chance to name any. But to him, this joke is SO funny, there is no way to make it unfunny. ".. well none of them because they all start with gas." Then he turns and acts like he is about to walk out of the store, like he dropped the proverbial mic. So I feign a half smile & say "yep. Gas. Thats a good one."

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dazegoby
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2014
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Puns for a character name

I'm currently building a war forged bard. He has a chest that acts as a record player and his left arm is the horn. I'm need of name pun brilliance!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zonero174
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2018
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Month puns

Help, I need a name pun for February. December was Decemburr, Jan-NEW-ary, etc...thanks in advance

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
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Food Name Puns

Hey guys my friend is opening up a new bar and is looking for some food name puns. We were looking for some help from Reddit. Here are some of the names we have so far

  • Happy Grillmore
  • Spaghetti Murphy
  • Lasagnye West
  • Forrest Rump
  • Egg Sheeran
  • David Jafflehoff
  • The Lamb Shank Redemption
  • Beef Me Up Scotty
  • HeisenBurger

Anymore suggestions will be appreciated

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tosswinkle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2014
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[Request] Pun for the name "Gloria"?

I'm usually good with name puns , but I can't think of a funny way to incorporate it. Some words to help - Glory, Glorious, Galore, Glow, , euphoria...

Edit/update: I used Glorias as in glorious. "I hope you had a Glorias day"

She said, "lmao, your silly".

I think that's a win....?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EDM117
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2017
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butterfly themed name puns

Okay, punmeisters. I need to come up with as many butterfly-themed name puns, and have run out of ideas.

Here's what I have so far:

Mary Posa (Mariposa=butterfly in Spanish)

Coco Oon (Cocoon)

Poppy Ong (Papillon?)

Larry Va (Larva)

Madame Butterfly/Monsieur Butterfly

...mainly I need at least one more guy's name.

This is for a comic I'm doing where all the henchpeople inexplicably have butterfly names.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/globgob
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2013
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Best alias I've ever heard was in the Unicycle Football League in San Marcos TX: Don Quishowte

Anyone know of another instance of this name pun?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/danarchist
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2016
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Need Help with a Dinosaur Pun!

Reddit, I need your help. I'm coming up with dinosaur name puns and I'm stuck on my own name!

Kara + Parasaurolophus = Karasaurolophus

Claire + Pterodactyl = Clairodactyl

Erin + Triceratops = Tricerinatops

John + Iguanadon = Iguanajohn

Charles + ??? = ???

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chizarlicious
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2014
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In an alternate universe, Hercules was a girl.

Her name was Himcules

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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William Shatner has discontinued his line of ladies lingerie.

Apparently Shatner panties was a poor choice of name.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bryanBr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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My daughter(7) just caught me off guard with this.

Daughter : Whats Nana's middle name?

Me: the same as mommies, I think

Daughter: her middle name is just i think?

I'm so proud. Sorry if I don't know how to format, I tried.

πŸ‘︎ 328
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πŸ‘€︎ u/podolot
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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Now days, people don't use the name Lance very often

In medieval times, people were named Lance a lot

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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Not cool Dad...not cool

So my dad's telling my relatives the story of how my mom was in labor for 12 hours so they named me 'Laura' which if you say it in Vietnamese accent it's 'Lau-ra' which means "Long time to come out"...

IMAGINE FINDING OUT AFTER 21 YEARS YOUR NAME IS A FUCKING PUN ..

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stneutron
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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If I have twin daughters, I'll name one Kate

And I'll name the other DupliKate

πŸ‘︎ 118
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Salman_R
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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Did you know Darth Vader had a sister?

Her name was Ella Vader.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after about 6 months.

The woman asked the doctor about her baby.

Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl. They're both fine. And, you're brother named them for you.

Woman: No No No! Not my brother. He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?

Doctor: Denise.

Woman: Ohh, that's actually a nice name. What about the boy?

Doctor: deeply sighs Denephew.

πŸ‘︎ 25k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_joshi_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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The Boring Company

What a dull name for a drilling company. Why didn’t Musk partner up with the founder of Microsoft and call it β€šElon-Gates Tunnelsβ€˜?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zeGermanGuy1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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My 4 year old just told her first dad joke, and I've never been more proud.

My pregnant wife is wearing a white shirt that has a pumpkin painted over her belly, for Halloween. We are having another little girl, and have set on the name Ellie.

My daughter comes home, and is greeted by my wife.

4yo: "I like your shirt mama!

Wife: "Aww thank you! Do you like my pumpkin belly?

4yo: "...I like your pumpkin Ellie!"

πŸ‘︎ 871
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shade0217
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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Did you know Cardi-B has a sister?

She's an athletic trainer Her name is Cardi-O

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hehe-MCR
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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Did you know Aaron Burr had a brother who was always falling over?

His name was Tim.

πŸ‘︎ 122
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CanadianTrainFan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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I told my friend I was a big fan of Metallica.

He challenged me and asked me to name 3 songs. I told him "I'm sorry. I only know One"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tkl15
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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Eileen

I recently met a woman with one leg. Her name was Eileen. She worked as a waitress at IHOP.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aiksd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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We need help naming some murderous cats.

We recently discovered mice in our pantry. Everyone’s advice? Get a cat. Apparently they are stone cold killers.

We made some calls and learned from our vet that they had two cats that need to be rehomed. I agreed to take them sight unseen. I think it’s a boy and girl but I don’t actually know. We pick them up next week.

We want to instill the right spirit into our mercenaries by naming them after famous murderers, but want to lighten the mood with puns.

So far we have come up with Jeffrey Paw-er but we are certain our Reddit friends can do better. We need male and female options. I understand one cat is black and the other is a brown mix.

We need help coming up with names, anyone up for the challenge??

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sveil96
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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I saw a man riding a bike up a hill, yet he walked.

Yeti was the name of his dog!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shitty_undies786
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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Do you know Cardi B has a sister who’s an athletic trainer ?

Her name is Cardi O

πŸ‘︎ 129
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dashedthoughts
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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My wife gave birth to our baby boy otw to the hospital...

We named him Carson.

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cromlorde
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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I hear that Legolas from the Lord of the Rings had an older brother, but he died before Legolas was born.

His name was Legofirst.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NiteOwlNov
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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First, I posted this on r/jokes but it didn't get much love. Then I realized I posted it on the wrong joke sub. Y'all love the punny jokes, so here you go:

Why are lamb chops a thing? Why do we have a food named after a baby animal?

Would you ever eat something called puppy steak? Or kitten burger? Or chick fillet?

oh wait.........

Credit goes to Matt from Studio C

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lickedy_Split_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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I always wanted my sister to have a son that I could pass on my wisdom to, but I'm so happy she had her little girl, Denise.

Because a kid named Denephew would probably get picked on a lot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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I'm going to be a bartender

Guys named Bart, watch out.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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Lost one of my AirPods

Now I call the other one Highlander

I’ve since changed the name to:

β€œLance Armstrong’s Testes”

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andrewmathman17
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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Dad: Sorry son I’m all out of dad jokes

Son: I thought your name was dad?

Dad: Well played.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mm401
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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Who is the meanest reindeer in Santa's herd?

Olive. You've heard the song. "Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names."

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onetwopi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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Doc: "Sir, you've caught a very rare disease. "

Me: "How rare?"

Doc: "You pick the name.

πŸ‘︎ 141
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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Star wars celebrity names

Apologies if this breaks the rules however. My friends and I are making up names of star wars characters combined with celebrity names. So far we've come up with Darth spader, sith rogan, and obi wan kobe.

Any others we cant think of?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ogzombiela
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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My 12 year old daughter got me today. Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer was playing on the radio.

"What was the other reindeer's name?"

"Um, Dasher?"

No."

"Dancer?"

"No. Olive."

"Olive?"

"Yes! Olive, the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names."

I was very proud.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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I was visiting my blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.

She responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.Β  I said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'Β  'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' she answered, β€œThey're watch dogs'!

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nandos677
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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A man and his son had a farm, but things weren't going too well.

The son said "I think we need to start growing something other than just wheat" and started naming fruits and vegetables.

"I think you're right, kiddo" said the man.

He went over to one of the haybales and started grabbing fistfuls of it. He spread it out and then started covering it with dirt.

"Dad, what are you doing?" asked the son, confused.

"I'm making straw-buries".

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Findrel_Underbakk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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I have an asian friend who's constantly mad

His name is Fu Ming.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danieboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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NEED A WEDDING HASHTAG

My friend Jenn is getting married to her fiancΓ©, Luc. Her last name is Yahiro, but she is taking his last name Freyer (pronounced fry-err). Any ideas??

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tlmaurer13
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Lance is an uncommon name these days...

But in medieval times people were named Lance a lot!

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daddysbrat18
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell in a deep coma and woke up after about 6 months.

The woman asked the doctor about the baby.

The doctor: Congratulations. You had twins, both boys. They're both fine. And your brother named them a for you.

Woman: No. No. No! Not my brother. He's an idiot! What did he name them?

Doctor: He named one of them Pete, after your deceased father as he told me.

Woman: Oh that's actually a very nice name. What did he name the other boy?

Doctor: deeply sighs RePete.

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_joshi_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report

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