A, B, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, & Z are all racists.. How do I know?

Because they're all not 'C's.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedPlanetCorridor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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L, M, O, P, Q...Where did 'N' go?

Enrolled.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SiD_-_-_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2021
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I asked my dad if I could have some L&P

He said "who's alan and why do you want to drink his pee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jade_Sabre
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2021
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A L L C A P S
πŸ‘︎ 819
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
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*whispers* b i o l o g y p u n s . . .
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OCTUStudio
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
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Can I play World War Z without having played World War A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X and Y before? /r/ShouldIbuythisgame/com…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonaSavage17
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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A deer, B deer, C deer, D deer,...

... E deer, F deer, G deer, H deer, I deer, J deer, K deer, L deer, M deer, N deer, P deer, Q deer, R deer, S deer, T deer, U deer, V deer, W deer, X deer, Y deer and Z deer.

Wait.. did I miss one out? O deer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OPettz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2022
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PA + PN + LA + LN

Oh no, my (P + L)(A + N) has been FOILed!

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodOldDragon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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A boy raises his hand in class and asks the teacher if he can be excused to use the bathroom, the teacher says..

β€˜yes but just to prove you’ve been paying attention I’d like you to recite the alphabet first’

So with his best effort the boy replies β€˜A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z’

The teacher says β€˜very good but what happened to the P?’

β€˜Well this took so long it’s running down my leg’

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2021
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What’s Sherlock Holmes’ favourite part of the alphabet?

L-M-N-O-P, my dear Watson.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThisTimeIChoose
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2021
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Help me with math

Why are there so many singles working in the rope factory? Letters are: P,I,H,Y,E,T,O,L,A,N,K Thanks :) Edit: found it, they all hope to tie the knot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotAPenguin46
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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A Polish man goes to the optometrist

Optometrist: Now I’ll show you some letters and you’ll read them

Polish man: okay

Optometrist shows the letters C W O Z A K Y L P T U J

Polish man: that’s my neighbors name!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/edoardoking
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2018
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Sleep-Deprivation Fueled Pun War

My friend (L) and I (B) ended up in a pun war. She had to wake up super early to catch a flight, and this was at about one in the morning:

L: I should definitely set my alarm to 'cow' o.O

B: Haha, do it. Nothing like waking up to cows in the 'moo'rning.

L: Oh my gosh. Absolutely not.

B: Hey, but it would be so 'udder'ly hilarious!

L: I just got stabbed to death by a pun.

B: I'm just trying to 'milk' it for all it's worth...

L: If I did that, I'm not sure I'd wake up in a happy 'moo'od.

B: Just drink some 'calf'inated coffee, and you'll be fine.

L: I'd be laughing 'stock' of the town... Cows don't have a sense of humor.

B: Bull!

L: I'll just use my cowculator do determine how much sleep I'm actually going to get tonight...

B: You could wake up a little later, but you'd have to 'hoof' it to the airport.

L: Hope the weather is good, so my plane isn't 'ground'ed 'beef'.

B: That's stretching it... You should make more of an 'heifer't to come up with good puns.

L: I know when I'm getting creamed.

B: It's hard to 'steer' you in the right direction, because you keep changing topics.

L: That's udderly ridiculous. I'm just trying to mooove on.

B: And I just keep churning 'em out...

L: No, you're just spinning your 'veal's.

B: That's one of the best ones I've herd all night!

L: I thought I might've butchered it...

B: PETA might have a beef with you because of it, though...

L: Well done, well done...

B: I don't think they care leather or not you personally slaughtered it, too.

L: See now, I wish you'd stop 'grilling' me about the bad puns... You should 'patty' yourself on the back. I 'dairy' you to come up with more.

B: Well, you can certainly steak a claim for being able to hold your own...

L: I'm a natural 'barn' comedian. However, I really should quit 'yak'king and go to bed. :p

B: Okay, that's not cows... You lose. You 'cud' have done a lot better.

L: The grass is greener on the other side, okay? Also, cows live in barns, and yaks are related to cows.

B: It was still quite a stretch... Don't have a cow about it.

L: Ha anymoo. Goodnight! Also, don't die of mad cow disease.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/guerrilla154
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2015
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My son's first dad joke

My wife, 2 year old son, and I were traveling this past week and went through a drive thru for lunch. After finishing his meal, my son was trying to figure out what the bag said. Not being able to turn around and see what he is seeing, the following exchange took place.

Wife "Do you know what the letters are on the bag?"

Son "Yes!"

Wife " Tell me what the letters are"

Son "A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z!"

Me "Was that his first dad joke?"

Wife "He is definitely your son" and rolled her eyes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/steveh28
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2014
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Got me twice in 10 seconds...

My dad keeps some hand sanitizer on-hand next to him in his car. As my dad was driving, I saw that there was a bit of hand sanitizer that had spilled onto his cup holder.

Me: Hey dad, did you spill purell?

Dad: P-U-R-E-L-L.

Me: What?

Dad: You asked me if I spelled purell, but I didn't so now I did!

Me: groans Okay Dad, did you spill purell?? [Emphasized pronunciation of word]

Dad No I didn't spill purell... because that's germ-x.

Me: groaning intensifies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JIKAN_DESU
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2015
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Knock knock

who's there

L-M-N-O-P

L-M-N-O-P who?

no! It's L-M-N-O-P-Q!!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EJayDoubleU
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2015
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Why did A, B, C...?

Why did A, B, C, D, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y and Z all get sent to the principal's office?

Because they were naughty! (Not "E")

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2022
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Teacher: Sing the alphabet.

Student: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, phosphorus, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z.

Teacher: How did you say phosphorus instead of L, M, N, O, and P?

Student: Because phosphorus is EL-EM-EN-TAL P.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
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Fun fact: there are actually 2 β€˜N’s in the alphabet...

... l m N o p ... w x y N z

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SubstantialBelly6
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
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I commissioned an artist to make me a set of letters of the alphabet out of cast iron.

I received A, B, C, D, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z.

I'm missing the iron E.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tratemusic
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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You would expect A Queue to go in order

but it skips b c d e f g h I j k l m n o and p

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/G3RRRIT
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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What are the least used letters in the alphabet?

l, p, h, b, e and t

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πŸ‘€︎ u/infinite-bliss
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
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