Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was...

...an ether/oar situation...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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In these challenging times, I worry about the virus and keeping a roof over my head.

So I went and got the shingles vaccine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/reedandsue
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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I couldn't undo the buttons on my jumper, so I tried pulling it over my head but got it stuck.

I'm in the hospital now waiting to see a cardyologist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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What if I lifted a pack of Coca-Cola over my head for twenty minutes a day every day?

That would be soda pressing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoorHalfwayShut
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
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My boat flipped over during a storm, so I decided to wear it on my head. After all...

It was capsized.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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If I go bald, I'm going to get rabbits tattooed all over my head.

Because, from a distance, they'll look like hares.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrOsteel
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2017
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My wife bought me an expensive umbrella and she’s been holding it over my head ever since
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thatdamnalex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
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Yesterday I got hit over the head with a powertool. I was sitting quietly minding my own business and then suddenly...

...Bosch!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/runeglifberg
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
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I didn’t know what to think walking into the kitchen last night to find my wife draped in lasagna and pouring piping hot soup over her head. β€œI’m just putting the dinner on”, she quipped. How we laughed on the way to the burns unit.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spazpekker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
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Some rude guy just walked by and dumped a bag of Doritos over my head.

Needless to say I have a chip on my shoulder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stefanopolis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
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Just tried to dad joke my boss. Went over his head.

He's complaining about all this costly work his minivan needs including some $1,700 exhaust work...

Me: Yeah, I hear you, maintaining vehicles can be exhausting...

Couldn't wipe the shit eating grin off my face as he kept talking.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HerrHoopla
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2017
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This one went right over my head for years
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shpleeurnck
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2013
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I'm sitting in traffic with my dad today when he scoffs, shakes his head, throws up his hand and says "look at THIS clown over here!"

I look over and there is literally a dude in full clown make-up driving a vw bettle next to us. Pop maintained a straight face through the whole thing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/robinson217
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2014
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When my boyfriend said this I played it back over in my head a thousand times wishing I had come up with it

::watching Bruce Lee documentary::

"....when we were young, Bruce was scrawny but constantly picking fight that he would always lose..."

Boyfriend: yea, we a, we called him Bruised Lee

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2013
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My teenage daughter was walking around the house with her comforter over her head, wallowing in self-pity

I told her "sorry you're feeling down".

She said I'm stupid.

In other words, I won.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VinceCully
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2016
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A twist on a classic (that went right over my daughter's head)

"I'm chilly."

"Hi Chilli -- I'm T-Boz."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HalBriston
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2016
🚨︎ report
Joke went over my Grandma's head but my Mom got it.

Eating dinner with my family who was visiting, afterword we were all going back to my Apartment since I live in the area. When we were getting ready to leave the restaurant my Grandma asked if could we stop by the Hotel first so she could go up to room as use the bathroom. My Mom chimed in with "you could just the restroom in the lobby" to which I replied "In front of all those people!". My Grandma and Dad didn't get it but my Mom laughed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/manherism
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2014
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Sometimes my fathers humour goes over my head.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joykin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2014
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