A list of puns related to "Our Own House"
A giant list of puns
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itâs a little fishy.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itâs tearable.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donât think itâs feline well.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
Thereâs a new type of broom out, itâs sweeping the nation.
What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.
How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.
The shovel was a ground breaking invention.
A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.
What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.
I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
Towels canât tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.
Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"
Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itâs pretty handy.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.
Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.
A cross eyed teacher couldnât control his pupils.
After the accident, the juggler didnât have the balls to do it.
I used to be afraid of hu
... keep reading on reddit âĄHow does every Russian joke start? By looking over your shoulder.
Whats the difference between a smart Russian and a unicorn? Â Nothing, theyâre both fictional characters
Whatâs meant by an exchange opinions in the Communist party of the Soviet Union? Â Itâs when I come to a party meeting with my own opinion, and I leave with the partyâs.
What do you call a Russian with Touretteâs Syndrome? Â Yukanol Fukov.
What is 150 yards long and eats potatoes? Â A Moscow queue waiting to buy meat.
What occupies the last 6 pages of the Lada Userâs Manual? Â The bus and train timetables.
What is Communism? Â The Poles say itâs the longest and most painful of the roads to capitalism.
What do you call a gassy russian? Vladimir Tootin
What is the fastest country in the world? A: Russia
What do you call a Lada on a hill? Â A bloody miracle.
What did Wendi Murdoch say to Vladimir Putin? Â Put-it-in!
What did the Russian people light their houses with before they started using candles? Â Electricity.
Did you hear about the winner of the Russian beauty contest? Me neither.
When was the first Russian election held? Â The time that God set Eve in front of Adam and said, âGo ahead, choose your wife.â
Russia really Putin a lot of work for the Winter Olympics
I hate Russian dolls. Theyâre so full of themselves.
America: Hey Ivan.. Russia: da.. America: what do you call a gassy Russian.. Russia: hoe donât-.. America: Vladimir Tootin.. Russia: !   America: !!.. Russia: fuck you.
Me: Netflix and chill more like NYET-flix and chill.. Closetcellist: in a russian accent NO FILMS. ONLY CHILL.
So you want to tell me⌠Hilbert was Russian to the loud noise?
This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: âWhat is the difference between Russian and English fairy tales?â Weâre answering: âThe English fairy tale start with âOnce upon a timeâŚâ, and ours with âIt will be soonâŚ
This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: âWhy some people say that Hungarians love the Russians and hate the Americans?â Weâre answering: âBecause Russians helped Hungarians to get rid of one totalitarian rule, but Americans donât help to get rid of the other.â
This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: âWhy Lenin wore regular shoes, but Stalin wore boots?â Weâre answering: âAt Leninâs time, Ru
... keep reading on reddit âĄA giant list of puns
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itâs a little fishy.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itâs tearable.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donât think itâs feline well.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
Thereâs a new type of broom out, itâs sweeping the nation.
What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.
How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.
The shovel was a ground breaking invention.
A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.
What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.
I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
Towels canât tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.
Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"
Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itâs pretty handy.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.
Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.
A cross eyed teacher couldnât control his pupils.
After the accident, the juggler didnât have the balls to do it.
I used to be afraid of hu
... keep reading on reddit âĄPlease note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.