Saw 4 baby birds in a nest, 3 were close together beaks wide open and squawking for attention. The 4th was off to the side beak closed head down..
I'm no bird expert but I'm guessing 3 females and 1 male.
So we were about to leave a cafe which had one of those two sided open/closed signs on the inside of a glass door...
At this point, the "closed" part was facing us. So I recoiled in horror and exclaimed "the outside's closed! Looks like we're trapped in here".
My daughter held the door open for her grandma. My daughter made sure the door didn’t close on my mom.
I always reword her good behavior.
My granddad always used to say, "as one door closes another one opens"
Wonderful guy, terrible cabinet maker.
Edit: thanks for the updoots and awards! You made my Reddit cake day! 😁
Did you hear about the beach house resort that used a chunky dairy product to open and close the doors?
They utilized cottage cheese cottage keys….
Nearly a year ago I wrote an open letter to this subreddit. Now I feel like I need to close the loop here.
I opened a children's zoo but it had to be closed down.
I was browsing Facebook and in it I had the cute dogs page opened, I was about to close the tab when my dog suddenly started yelling...
Browse...Browse...
Browse...Browse...
My grandpa always told me "when one door closes another one opens."
A lovely and inspiring man...makes shit cabinets though.
My dad always said "as one door closes another one opens"
He never quite got the hang of assembling Ikea furniture.
An open letter to everyone arguing about types of jokes should be allowed in this sub:
C
Sorry, I’ll usher myself out….
My street light fixing business closed two months after it opened because it was not profitable
A neighbor asks for your help closing a window; it's stuck open a little. You try but fail, and she says "try twisting the top." Surprised, you ask why.
Within minutes, the detectives knew what the murder weapon was.
I’m thinking of opening a Pho restaurant that never closes
Gonna call it Twenty Pho Seven
My friend is so proud that he finally got a waterbed with sliding boxes opened by pulling out and closed by pushing in...
Now he can wake up and jump straight into his drawers!
On rainy days, my wife thinks it’s pathetic when I stare through the window.
It would be less pathetic if she just let me in.
My 5yo hit me with this: what do you call an elephant who refuses to bath?
My wife is threatening to leave me for never putting the toilet seat down.
To be honest, I’m getting a little tired of carrying it around.
To all the members of this subreddit, an open letter:
The story of the three friars
Three friars were behind in their belfry payments, so they opened a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back to the friars and begged them to close. They ignored him. He asked his mother to go and ask the friars to go out of business. They ignored her too. So the rival florist hired Hugh McTaggert, the roughest, most vicious thug in the town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close the shop. Terrified, they did so…
Thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
A Cardiologist’s Funeral
A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral attended by fellow physicians, family members, friends.... A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral ....I'm a gynecologist."
That's when the proctologist fainted.
My dad used to tell me these so here you go
- A plane flew over the jungle carrying 500 bricks. One of the bricks suddenly fell. How much bricks were left on the plane?
- How do you get an elephant in the fridge in 3 steps?
You open the fridge, put the elephant inside, and close the fridge.
- How do you get a giraffe in the fridge in 4 steps?
You open the fridge, get the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the fridge.
- An elephant and a giraffe compete in a race. Who won?
The elephant, because the giraffe was in the fridge!
- How many elephants can get in a green car?
- 2 of them sittings in the front and the other 2 are sitting behind them.
- How do you know that there are 4 elephants in the cinema?
The green car parks outside.
- Why can't you see the elephants hiding in the trees?
Because they are really good at it.
- Why do elephants paint their balls red?
So they can hide in cherry trees.
- What is the loudest noise in the forest?
Giraffes eating cherries.
- The lion is celebrating so he invited the whole jungle to his party. Who didn't show up?
The giraffe. He is still in the fridge.
- A squirrel was walking through the jungle when he crossed the crocodile river. Why the crocodiles didn't eat him?
Because they were in the lion's party.
- Before the squirrle got to the other side he died. How?
He got hit by a brick!
Due to the Covid crisis, the Indian bakery in my neighborhood is going through some tough times.
They fired all Naan essential staff.
Think of a number between 5 and 15. Multiply by 2, add 3, and subtract 7 from the answer. Now close your eyes.
What is the baby vampire's least favorite fast food establishment?
Stake n shake!
(I'm not sure if this is a regional restaurant but I assure you it exists.)
My friend once told me, when one door closes, another one opens….
Great guy… terrible cabinet maker!
When one door closes another one opens...
These IKEA wardrobes are rubbish.
When one door closes, another one opens…
Other than that, it’s a pretty good car.
My grandfather once told me, "When one door closes, another opens."
Great man, terrible cabinet maker.
When one door closes, another one opens
Other than that, it’s a pretty good car.
When one door closes, another door opens.
Apart from that, it's a decent car.
Grandpa always said when one door closes, another one opens...
Great man, horrible cabinet maker.
My dad would say, "As one door closes, another opens."
Beautiful man, terrible cabinet maker.
My dad used to encourage us by saying “when one door closes another one opens”.
Lovely man. Terrible cabinet maker.
My grandfather always used to say, “As one door closes another one opens.”
Lovely man.
Terrible cabinet maker.
My uncle always said "when one door closes another door opens"
Great guy,terrible kitchen fitter.
When one door closes another opens
Other than that it's a pretty good car.
grandpa told me: "if a door closes somewhere, another opens
he was a really bad cabinet maker...
My grandfather always said that when one door closes, another one opens.
He was a terrible cabinetmaker.
When one door closes, another one opens
Other than that, it’s a pretty good car.
My grandpa used to say "When one door closes, another shall open"
He was a great man, but a terrible cupboard maker.
As my Dad used to say, “when one door closes, another one opens.”
Lovely man, lousy cabinet maker though.
My grandfather always said when one door closes another one opens
He was a great man but a terrible cabinet maker
As one Dior closes, another opens...
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