Getting drunk is something you should do once in a Blue Moon
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigJoester
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2015
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A list of over 350 Dad Jokes!

Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.

3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.

5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.

A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.

A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. β€œI’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. β€œSorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. β€œYou’re out of your head.”

A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'

A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.

A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. β€œWe don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. β€œWhy not?” one yogurt asks. β€œWe’re cultured.”

A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.

A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.

A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, β€œWhat are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, β€œIt’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”

A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, β€œWhat’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, β€œArrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, β€œI don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

Armed robbersβ€”some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them.

Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.

Can February March? No, but April May!

Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.

Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.

Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!

Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.

Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?

Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!

Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bugasum
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2022
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Went out for Dad's birthday last night, he set me up big time...

He asked the waitress what beers were on tap, which included Blue Moon and Sam Adams seasonal. He said "it's not a special occasion, so I'll have the Sam seasonal." After the waitress left, I asked, it's your birthday, what special occasion do you mean? He said "I only have it once in a blue moon."

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2014
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My friend asked me if I ever drop a shot of hot sake into a beer

I said: β€œOh a sake bomber? Yeah once in a Blue Moon”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YUKAH63
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2022
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I ordered a beer at a restaurant that was served with an orange slice.

I told the server "i dont always put an orange in my beer, just once in a Blue Moon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/seamus205
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2022
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I don't put an orange in my beer often

Except maybe once in a Blue Moon

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hastings43
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2017
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It's not often that I put an orange in my beer

It's usually only once in a Blue Moon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hastings43
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
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I rarely put orange slices in my beer.

Once in a Blue Moon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
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It's halloween and not a single kid came to my house trick or treating...

...that only happens once in a blue moon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ewouldblock
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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How often does Halloween fall on a Saturday?

Once in a blue moon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sumedocin23
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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I don't usually put an orange slice in my beer

Except maybe once in a Blue Moon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
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Do I often put an orange slice in my beer?

Not really. Maybe once in a blue moon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dan-Quixote
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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I asked my dad if he’s ever seen a bug in his drink.

β€œOnce in a blue moon.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jollyben
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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Anyone see the blood moon last night?

It happens once in a blue moon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Archaetorrhi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2015
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Do you like oranges?

I do, but only once in a blue moon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Actionhippie417
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2017
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