Omar Assar Puns

Period: 171.33 days

###Top Submitters' Top Submissions

1. 6974 points, 107 submissions: /u/tableten8901

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I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

The doctor says it terminal.

I've believed since 2019 that Ma Long has been the GOAT. This 2nd Olympic title clinches it and makes it undisputed in my mind.

-

Titles:

Ma Long is the first ever male table tennis player to have 2 Grand Slams.

Olympics: 2016, 2020 (Only ever repeat!)

World Table Tennis Championship: 2015, 2017, 2019 (Threepeat**!**)

World Cup: 2012, 2015

Ma Long is the first player to win the WTTC 3 times since Wang Liqin and the first to win 3 consecutive since Zhuang Zedong, 54 years ago.

He's beaten some of the greatest players ever in these finals as well as other excellent players.

Timo Boll, Zhang Jike, Fan Zhendong (3x!), Fang Bo, Mattias Falck.

-

Career:

His career records in singles are also unmatched.

28x ITTF World Tour winner (Most ever!)

6x ITTF World Tour Grand Finals winner (Most ever!)

1x Asian Games winner

3x Asian Championships winner

4x Asian Cup winner

2x China National Games

1x Chinese National Championships

He's no slouch in doubles ever and will go down as one of the greatest doubles players ever although Xu Xin is probably the greatest.

2x WTTC Doubles Champion

22x ITTF World Tour winner

1x ITTF World Tour Grand Finals winner

1x Asian Games winner

3x Asian Championships

2x Chinese National Championships

In total, he is a jaw dropping FIFTY time ITTF World Tour winner.

He also had arguably the most dominant year ever in 2015.

He won the

- Kuwait Open (4-1) against Xu Xin

- German Open (4-3) against Zhang Jike (3-1 comeback)

- WTTC (4-2 )against Fang Bo

- World Cup (4-0) against Fan Zhendong

- ITTF World Tour Grand Finals (4-3) against Fan Zhendong

In total, he lost only 5 times overall and ONCE in international competition. His World Cup run is astonishing because he only dropped 1 set the entire tournament to Omar Assar in R16 and held his opponents to an average of 6 points per set in the tournament.

Other ridiculous records (from Wikipedia lol):

- Unbeaten for 40 singles matches in December 2011

- Didn't drop a set in 2011 Swedish Open

- Won 5 consecutive ITTF World Tour tournaments

- Won 35 consecutive sets

- Ranked first by ITTF for a total of 64 months and 34 consecutive months (most ever)

His head to head career record against other top players is unbelievable (W/L)

*I couldn't find all the exact records/parse singles vs doubles so these are more ballpark/not super accurate

Dima: 19-0

Jun Mizutani: 16-0

Timo Boll: 17-5

Xu Xin: 22-10

Zhang Jik

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Amy

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

####Tokyo Olympic Games 2020

27 July 2021
Day 4 || Day 5 || Day 6 || Day 7
Day 9

Men's Singles

Women's Singles

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.