I bet the ocean is salty because no one waves back.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jewishing
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2017
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Was the ocean salty when the land didn’t wave back?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lightning_Bolt88
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
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Hey dad when ocean waves get tired, is there a place they go to die?

Dad: sure.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Synisive
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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A Wave of Ocean Puns saltypun.com/tons-of-ocea…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jewel531
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
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At the ocean the other day a huge wave caught me by surprise

All I could think was oh, swell.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Obi1DidntHave2Die
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2017
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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We were building a sandcastle on an Oregon beach...

And a big wave snuck up on us. We ran quickly, leaving behind a shovel. I exclaimed β€œthe ocean took your shovel!”

My son: β€œWhich one?”

β€œ...Well, the Pacific...”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cryogenicist
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
124 dad jokes that will make you laugh and cringe

Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.

Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

β€œEvery time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, β€˜The good news is..it’ll feel better when it quits hurting.'”

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

β€œI’ll call you later!”- β€œPlease don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”

Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

β€œMy dad literally told me this one last week: β€˜Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.’”

β€œWhenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, β€˜No, just leave it in the carton!’”

I got so angry the other day when I couldn’t find my stress ball.

If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, I’d say: β€œWow, that’s coincidental.”

I’m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.

β€œMe: β€˜Dad, make me a sandwich!’ Dad: β€˜Poof, You’re a sandwich!’”

β€œI heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

β€œHow can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles.”

Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it

β€œWhat’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”

The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.

I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: β€œDon’t worry; this is a piece of cake.” I said: β€œNo, it’s a math problem.”

I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weeb123xD
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad: Ocean's being real polite today

Me: What do you mean the ocean's being polite?
Dad: It keeps waving at us
Me: ugh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hutimuti
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2016
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend and I were at the beach.

After a swim she asked me, "How's the ocean?"

"Eh, it comes in waves."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blinkfan305
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2016
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Been rolling with the dad jokes while on vacation

In the ocean, swimming in the gulf while the tropical storm is kind of nearby.

Waves are huge, fun times.

Wife says: "it's like the waves are small, and then they get larger and larger and then go back to small again."

I said "Well, honey, they do come in...waves."

At least the guy next to me laughed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkneo86
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2015
🚨︎ report
The ocean is salty because it waves at land, but land never waves back.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tacofrog2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2015
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Salty ocean

Do you think the ocean is salty because the land never waves back?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Worried-Guava
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Why is the ocean salty?

Because the land doesn't wave back.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KidsMaker
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2016
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What did a surfer say to the ocean?

Nothing. They waved along with the ocean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/person_from_yt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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My significant other was not a fan,

Me: what did the Ocean say to the other Ocean?

Her: What?

Me: Nothing they just waved... Sea what I did there?

Her: groans* I hate you (jokingly)

Me: Why are you so salty about it? don't be such a beach.

EDIT: she actually laughed pretty hard after that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lowdownporto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2014
🚨︎ report
My 9 year old today...

My 9 year old asked me today: _Daddy what one ocean said to the other? _No idea honey, what? _Nothing, they just WAVED.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2016
🚨︎ report

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