A polish guy went to the optometrist to get his eyes checked. The doctor showed a slide and asked if he could read the letters "C Z W I X B O S T A C Z"
Polish man looked at the slide and excitedly exclaimed "Read it, I know the guy!"
π︎ 11
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︎ Jan 20 2023
Have the courage to tell your bibliophile S/O their lactose intolerance makes no sense, because as we all knowβ¦
π︎ 9
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︎ Jan 09 2023
My kid swallowed Scrabble tiles when I wasnβt looking - now weβre missing all the Aβs Eβs Iβs Oβs Uβs and Yβs.
His pediatrician said weβll have to wait for a vowel movement.
π︎ 476
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︎ Aug 11 2022
If you spell βsit in the tubβ s-o-a-k, and you spell βa funny storyβ j-o-k-e, how do you spell βthe white of an eggβ?
π︎ 151
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︎ Sep 13 2022
S-O-Sorry
π︎ 69
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︎ Sep 29 2022
I swear stairs are gonna be my d o w n fall, the way they keep s t a i r i n g at me...
π︎ 3k
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︎ Feb 06 2020
A, B, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, & Z are all racists.. How do I know?
Because they're all not 'C's.
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Dec 11 2019
Itβs airplane oβclock
π︎ 9
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︎ Mar 15 2022
Twitter meme s t o l e n from facebook
π︎ 102
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︎ Jan 03 2021
Itβs o-fish-ial
π︎ 83
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︎ Jan 26 2020
Teacher asked βWhat is the formula of water?β Student said βH I J K L M N Oβ teacher said βthatβs not the formula of waterβ
Student said βyou said the formula was H to Oβ.
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︎ May 28 2020
I am very worried as I saw that my son wrote "M-y h-o-p-e-s" five-hundred times in his diary.
I found out it's because he said his hopes are dashed.
π︎ 3
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︎ Jul 27 2021
How Did Shaquille OβNeal Inspire The B-52βs?
When he wrote them a fan letter and ended it with βLove, Shaqβ
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 05 2021
*whispers* b i o l o g y p u n s . . .
π︎ 22
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︎ Feb 08 2020
A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z
π︎ 12
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︎ Dec 25 2020
The S/O let me know weβd made 4 cents in our mutual account...
π︎ 69
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︎ May 03 2019
What begins with o and ends w/ s?
π︎ 13
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︎ Jul 04 2020
When Shaquille OβNeal gives you a birthday card, he always signs it with a reference to his favorite 80βs song.
π︎ 6
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︎ Nov 20 2020
My 8 y.o. son just discovered Yo Mama jokes. Hereβs the first one he told me: Your Mamaβs so fat
Donald Trumpβs gonna use her for his border wall.
π︎ 10
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︎ Jul 06 2019
**T H E R E I S N O E S C A P E**
π︎ 11
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︎ Aug 31 2019
My favorite author is S.O. Teric
Youβve probably never heard of him.
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 21 2020
h a n d s o a p
π︎ 14
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︎ Apr 29 2019
T.H.a.N.O.S.
π︎ 4
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︎ May 23 2019
nEck-o-leS CaGe (Ask to repost)
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 21 2019
Papers are just the w o r s t
π︎ 15
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︎ Dec 03 2019
Can I play World War Z without having played World War A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X and Y before?
/r/ShouldIbuythisgame/comβ¦
π︎ 2
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︎ Mar 27 2020
Why did Harry Potter fail his O.W.L.S?
Because he didn't use a spell checker!
π︎ 8
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︎ Oct 28 2016
My s/o went to PA for the weekend
Her: the snow is really high here
Me: you should see if they can hook you up with their dealer
I think i did it right cuz she thought i sent the text to the wrong person
π︎ 18
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︎ Mar 08 2015
Got my S/O
Her: Ewwwwww oh my god they drew his blood.
Me: Would you prefer they paint it?
Ehehehehehe
π︎ 55
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︎ Oct 25 2015
Got my S/O last night.
We were cuddling and I turn away a little bit because it's super hot in her room, but she pulls me back and says "come back, I like spooning".
My reply: "Honey, I like spooning as much as I like forking, but it's just too hot to do either of those things right now."
π︎ 34
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︎ Jun 06 2015
In Branson with my S/O
She sees a billboard and groans.
"What?" I say.
"Look at that sign, I already know what you're going to say."
The Sign reads, "LIVE: Elvis impersonator!"
^
^
"Well I've heard he's WAY better than the DEAD Elvis impersonator."
π︎ 32
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︎ Mar 26 2015
I told my s.o. I want a dancing horse...
Her: What will it dance?
Me: The Naaae Naaaae.
I'm glad she still loves me after that.
π︎ 3
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︎ Jun 16 2015
A little Christmas song. A B C D E F G H I J K M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L...
π︎ 28
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︎ Dec 02 2020
I have updated the alphabet for festive period. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z
π︎ 14
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︎ Dec 11 2019
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