O Rings Puns

My daughter is 14 and has been asking for a nose ring for a while now. She thinks she will wear me down but she is wrong (this time). She was out shopping with my wife today... this is how our conversation went.

Daughter: Dad, what if your christmas present was to just let me get my nose pierced with a tiny cute lil" sparkle??!!

Me: No. You have plenty of holes in your ears ( 3 each 🙄, not my idea ) Buy a nose ring and put it in your ear hole if you need to. We'll call it a "near" ring. 😉

Daughter: U R Not funny.

Me: Kinda funny? 😁

Daughter: No.

In summary: I was/am so proud of myself that I thought I would share. 🤣🤣 Hope you enjoy!

He gives him a ring

There is a nice ring to it

There should be a version of boxing where the ring is divided into sections. Once you cross a certain line, you can only hit your opponent. That's the punchline.

It just kept ringing

Call me crazy, but “Jinge Bes” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Because he has one ring to rule the mall!

I said “oh yeah? Something about her ring a bell?”

Now when his dog is happy he can hear:

"Bells on Bob's tail ring!"

Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.

They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.

I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.

A ring on the phone

His name was Sir Ringe. He had a point to help people

(Syringe)

The Doctor’s phone rings, she answers what both of them already knew was a call to come in to work. The husband sighs: “ughhh… you really have to go in right now?”

Doctor: “I’m sorry, honey. But what do you expect, I am an On-Call-ogist”

Nailed a few dad jokes today…

First my wife and I were icing sugar cookies. We had two Christmas trees and she was using red icing.

So I said, “use the red.” And she says, “Res trees?” To which I replied, “they’d be redwoods.” Wife eyerolled.

Second, we’re making chocolate thingys. Blob of chocolate with a circular pretzel inset. She was adding little Christmas tree shaped decorations to the top of each one. I said, “Do we call these tree rings?”

More groaning.

It’s good to be a dad.

No, but he definitely rings a bell ...

Sir I

and some of the others:

- The knight who cooks steaks the best: Sir Loin

- The knight who is always confident: Sir Tain

- The knight who charges you extra on top of the original price every time: Sir Charge

- The knight who operates on other knights after every battle: Sir Geon

- The knight who didn't take many chances: Sir Cumspect

- The knight who has the loudest battle cry: Sir En

- The knight who was afraid to fight: Sir Render

- The unbelievable knight: Sir Real

- The knights were so large that they sat around the a table by themselves: Sir Round and Sir Cumference

- The undercover knight: Sir Vallence

- The knight who came to an untimely end: Sir Cease

- The knight who never got killed in battle: Sir Vivor

- The knight who always guessed right: Sir Miser

- The knight who exceeded expectations: Sir Past

- The knight who overcame obstacles: Sir Mount

- The knight who showed up unexpectedly: Sir Prise

- The knight who funded the castle's operations: Sir Tax

- The knight who kept the kingdom maps up to date: Sir Veyor

- The knight who drank too much: Sir Rhosis

- The knight who always called on as the first substitute: Sir Rogate

- The knight who is the most outstanding knight: Sir Perb

- The hardest knight of them all: Sir Amic

- The knight who was most at home in a 3-ring castle: Sir Cus

- The saddest knight: Sir Rowful

- The extra knights: Sir Perfluous and Sir Penumerary

- The dancing knight (who was a cousin to Sir Lancelot) : Sir Prance Alot

- The one who also known as the Knight of Scales, Fangs, and Coils: Sir Pent

At first, I didn't believe the rainbow would even hold me. But she held my hand as I stepped onto the outermost ring of color, and to my amazement, I didn't fall through.

But then she moved across the rest of the rainbow much faster than I was ready for. Soon she was dancing on the violet ring, and I could barely even see her.

I texted her: "Hey. Could you please come back and help me?"

But she left me on red.

He gave her a ring.

Jacksonson Junior the Third just didn't seem to have a nice ring to it.

-Because freedom rings

I’m that elf from lord of the rings

"Hey, heard of Quasimodo?"

"Hmm it rings a bell.."

"Well, yes, but use "him", not "it". Please don't dehumanise him."

Doctor doctor I think I am a bell. Ok, here is some tablets, if they don't work give me a ring!

"By George, where did John Paul's ring go?"

The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering

Onion rings.

Saturn…hmm that’s got a nice ring to it.

Ring the bell amd run, he hates that.

Phone just kept ringing.

It was Lord of The Rings. Great read.

A ring

... he'd have a Lot Of The Rings.

It’s because It has a nice ring to it

First the engagement ring

Then the wedding ring

And finally the suffering

It still works but now it's ringing wet...

My 2 year old son picks up a Lego door and says "door." He then picks up another door and says "more door." To which I have to respond "one does not simply walk into more door, but you did just then, well done." Tumble weed, he's never seen Lord of the Rings.

Trees, they get a new ring every year.

His name didn't ring any Gö- bells.

But they’ll still ring a bell

First.... You dig a big pit.

Like, a tiger pit, but big enough for an elephant.

Then, you fill it with leaves and debris and whatever...

Light the leaves on fire and let it burn all the way down to ash.

Next, open a can of peas (or fresh peas if you have them)...

Place the peas all along the outside of the pit, creating a ring around the whole thing...

That way, when the elephant goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ash-hole.

Because freedom rings!

It really has a ring to it.

She had to pass the two-ring test.

They pass the two ring test

I accused Jim of celebrating the holidays a little too early.

You see Jim tied some bells on his dog's tail.

Now whenever the dog is happy, he wags his tail and.....

Bells on Bob's tail ring!

He gave her a ring.

Because Freedom rings