that's why we stick with father jokes
She was a roman catholic.
There's always a Roamin Catholic.
It's becoming a bad habit.
Slim to Nun?
(Incidentally this is a true story and I got yelled at)
One says "Quick show him your cross"
The other priest crosses his arms and says "I'm so disappointed in you"
She says "who is it?"
"It's the blind man" comes the response.
Ok, thinks the nun. "Come in then".
In walks the man; "nice tits, now where do you want this blind?"
It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
A roamin' Catholic.
Clown asks: "What do you call someone posing as a fake Italian chef? An im-pasta"
Man doesn't laugh
Clown asks: "What do you get when you cross a tiger and a bear? A tiger and a bear seeking revenge."
No response
Clown asks: "Which super hero asks the most questions? Wonder Woman"
Nothing
Clown asks: "Have you heard of the baseball team the Chicago Hot Dogs? They are the wurst"
Doesn't crack a smile
Clown asks: "Why was the alcoholic so annoying? He wined too much"
Clown starts to get nervous
Clown asks: "The disinterested hockey player got a penalty. What was it? Boarding"
Blank look
Clown asks: "What is a nun's favorite card game? Old Maid"
Yawn
Clown asks: "How do crustaceans celebrate birthdays? With crab cakes"
Annoyed
Clown asks: "What do you call a champion deer? A Win-doe"
grasping at straws
Finally Clown asks: "How do sheep sleep when they have nightmares? Baaaaadly"
He never laughs. Clown gives him his $100 and asks "Did any of my jokes make you laugh?"
Man says "No pun-in-ten-did"
A man sees a priest buying hard liquor on a Sunday at a shop down the street from the church the priest is the pastor of. Surprised, the man, who went to that church, asked why he was buying a 5th of Jagermeister.
The priest said, "it's an old catholic secret that Jagermeister helps ease constipation, which one of the nuns has.
So the guy shrugs and leaves, only to see the priest later that day, not halfway back to the church, drunk as a skunk in the gutter, tipping the brown paper bag with Jagermeister in it all the way back as he drinks it.
He pulls up in his car and asks, "I thought you said it was for a nun's constipation!?"
The priest grunted, "It is! She's going to shit herself when she sees me like this!"
I'm posting this, my grandfather's joke, in honor of him passing a few months ago.
I heard this joke a while ago, and I'm not sure if its at the dad joke level of corniness. Here it is:
Two nuns are driving, when suddenly, a vampire appears on the front of the road.
One nun says to the other "Quick, show 'em your cross!"
The other nun shouts out the window "Get off the road ye goofy bastard!"
She was a roman catholic.
