Normal Sized Puns

Shear size

Fare in height

Me: Your ears are so soft. Her: I have Dumbo ears. Me: No, you have Dumbo's mom's ears. Normal sized. Her: That's ear-elephant.

Not sure why... all the cars looked normal size to me.

My son is 8 years old and loves counting money and change. This morning went like this.

Son: counting change "Daddy, I have very little money."

Me: "No. It looks normal sized to me."

Then he proceeds to very dramatically roll his eyes.

Me: There aren't any trees at XYC store.

Wife: Christmas tree shortage?

Me: No, the ones at the other store were normal size......

After looking at some of their pictures I responded that they didn't look like a huge dog person, but a normal sized human person.

Brother: Im such a huge fan of The Walking Dead.

Dad: Really? You look normal sized to me (cackling commences).

Me: You can come by at 6 today. Very little patients today.

Boyfriend: What happened to the normal sized patients?

Mother was discussing how she thinks the new house is haunted. Step dad mentions off-handedly that it might be his fault.

When we pressed him to explain, he says, "I'm the size of two people and I'm normal. So, yknow, 'pair a normal'.

Watching the news when they mentioned billionaire Harold Hamm's divorce settlement, and it showed the check he wrote his wife. My mom said she'd never seen a check that big, when I replied "It's a normal size check, it's just on a large screen..."

"No, just this normal sized one."

Personal favorite way to achieve an eyeroll at the checkout.

My dad just laid this one on me. Tonight for supper we had a pasta dish with mini pepperonis, cheese, sauce, etc. in it. Normally when my mom makes this she uses regular size pepperoni. I commented how much I liked the meal and she said "I don't know, I kinda like it better with the big pepperoni" to which my dad replies with "I like it better with the little pepperoni, but then again I'm not a big pepperoni fan." A universal sigh was heard around the table.

My dad got us good with this one. My dad, mum and I were talking about how we want to go to Ireland on our next family trip, when my dad said:

'Dublin is the biggest city in the world!'

'What are you talking about? No it isn't!'

'Yes it is, it keeps Dublin in size!'

I don't normally laugh at his jokes, but that one got me.

Child: Sorry dad! I got light lemonade instead of the normal kind

Father: picks up lemonade Well of course it's lighter than normal. You got the small size.