I came home to find my Amazon TV streaming device playing. My wife suggested maybe my Nintendo console did it. i said "No way...
The Wii didn't start the Fire!"
A being of pure light descended and revealed itself to. It Saif, "I am god." I replied, "No Way!"
It then said to me, "Yahweh"
Did you know Shakespeare died from a cough? Doctor's had no way of diagnosing exactly what it was.
TB or not TB, that is the question.
There’s a theory that no two people see a colour the exact same way.
Does that mean that colour is…a pigment of your imagination?
Sigh... My family no longer responds in any way to my cheesey jokes.
I guess they've become laughtose intolerant.
I told my daughter I saw a deceased donkey on the way to work. She said “No way, for real?”
There's no better way to surprise her indoors with an expensive gift.
So bought her a Dyson instead of those usual brands.
I told my wife "there is no way I'm letting you buy those shoes".
"One of them wasn't right".
I’ve been writing letters to the creator of SNL for months and still no reply - I’m looking at this pile of mail and feeling the same way
My daughter asked me to put a crown on her. There’s no way I’m gonna do it.
I’m not qualified to perform that kind of dental work.
Imagine being on stage at the Oscar's and thinking there's no way anyone would slap you.
Where there's a Will, there's a way.
No, there is simply no way the two of you can make an amazing meal of out vegetables only!!!
No way there’s a second date
When she ordered Indian flatbread as an appetizer, that was a naan-starter.
A man is brought to the hospital with a mortal wound. The medical staff believes there is no way to help him and he will die. The head doctor walks in and says I will take care of this. He takes a clock off the wall and rubs it on the injured man, the man is HEALED.
The nurse says: AMAZING! how did you know that would work!?
The head doctor says: “It’s simple really… Time heals all wounds.”
NO WAY - I am NOT going to tell you my Pizza joke.
There’s no way anyone can make spaghetti better than my Mom.
Four men are stranded with nothing but cigarettes on a boat with no way to light them
So they throw one cigarette off board, and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter
Three men were in a boat stuck in the middle of the ocean. They had 4 cigarettes but no matches or lighter or any way of smoking them. How did they smoke them?
They threw one cigarette into the sea and then they were a cigarette lighter.
Someone told me "you believe in god? No way!"
I just said "No comment" all the way through a police interview.
There's no easy way to say this, but...
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
(Yes, it's a real place in Wales)
There's just no reason for women to behave the way they do when they're on their period....
Halfway through my Organic Chemistry class, I realized there’s no way I’ll pass.
I’m in alkynes of trouble.
No way to cushion the blow
What do you call a man on a roof with no way down?
Some say there is no way for a woman to play Cat Woman correctly
My wife asked if I would like to BBQ some brats for dinner. I said, “No way, babe.”
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself. MOM: Oh my! Who!? DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something? MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!??????? DAD: No, it was with a knife
There is no way that men and women can be alike....
Because there is a Vas deferens ("vast difference") between them.
So you're telling me like the verb ring has second form rang and sing has sang, the verb think also works the same way? Well, no thanks.
A Female Child (Me)Is In No Way A Dad. But I Want To Dad Joke My Dad.
I've got this-
"I can jump higher than tallest tree. Want to know how?"
"How?"
"Trees can't jump."
"Hey Garth, do you know that separating milk solids can yield a nutritious protein liquid?" "No way!"
A teacher told a student that no two people see color in the exact same way.
The student then asked...Does this mean that color is a pigment of your imagination?
There’s no way cow manure works as fertilizer
My wife just told me that Peter Tork of The Monkees died today. I said, “No way!”
You know that theory about no two people see colours exactly the same way...
Surely it's a pigment of their imagination ?
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself. MOM: Oh my! Who!? DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something? MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!??????? DAD: No, it was with a knife...
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