What do you call an alloy of Fe and Ni which doesn't have magnetic properties ? IRONICAL
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/indian_potato
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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I proudly showed my son, "Check this out! Bought a new shrub trimmer today!" He shrugged and replied, "That's great, dad." I continued...

"Itโ€™s cutting hedge technology!"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/madazzahatter
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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Which animal wonโ€™t share the shrubbery?

A hedgehog!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Calm_Fan_381
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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I told a joke to a Japanese guy earlier about Sodium and Nickel...

He didn't get it though, so he just said "NaNi?!"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/qwopcircles
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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I said it once and Iโ€™ll say it again.

it

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/honkykat
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 13 2017
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I've said it before and I'll say it again.

It

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Brosthetic
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
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What did the sorority girl say when she lost her pen?

"I literally cannot even write now!"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LyndsySimon
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 25 2015
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I saw my son scratching his knee

I asked him if he had a 123.

Confused, he looked at me and asked what I meant.

I stared back and said, you have an ichi ni san.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Lime_Meringue
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
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Someone asked me what kind of Pokemon I would be. I answered Nidoran bc I wanna be ไฝ ็š„ไบบ.

ไฝ ็š„ไบบ ๏ผˆni de ren) = your person

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/42aku
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
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*two friends were looking at a nickel iron alloy rod*

Friend 1: This rod looks Fe-Ni. Hahaha

Friend 2: I find it iron-nickel that you laughed at your own statement

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/pabesh17
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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How does a Chinese cat greet you?

Ni meow

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Palicain932
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 27 2019
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Ambulance Girl

What do you call a girl that sounds like an ambulance?

NI-NA NI-NA NI-NA

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ryannbajaj
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
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Learn Chinese in 5 min

LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES (You MUST read them out loud or it doesnt make as much sense)...

  1. Thats not right........ Sum Ting Wong
  2. Are you harboring a fugitive................... Hu Yu Hai Ding
  3. See me ASAP............. Kum Hia Nao
  4. Stupid Man...................... Dum Fuk
  5. Small horse... Tai Ni Po Ni
  6. Did you go to the beach?... Wai Yu So Tan
  7. I bumped in to a coffee table... Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
  8. I think you need a face lift... Chin Tu Fat
  9. It's very dark in here... Wao So Dim
  10. I thought you were on a diet... Wai Yu Mun Ching
  11. This is a tow away zone... No Pah King
  12. staying out of sight... Lei Ying Lo
  13. He's cleaning his automobile... Wa Shing Ka
  14. Your body odor is offensive... Yu Stin Ki Pu
  15. Great... Fa Kin Su Pah
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/edg0023
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
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Dad really wanted to go all out for my mom for Christmas.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mstarrbrannigan
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 19 2018
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Chemistry Puns

Funny collection of chemistry puns

What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver? SWAG


Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? Heโ€™s 0K now.


What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.


How do Sulfur and Oxygen communicate? A sulfone


What do you call Iron blowing in the wind? Febreeze.


Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements? Because if you canโ€™t helium or curium, you barium!


Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends argon.


Why did the acid go to the gym? To become a buffer solution!


Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!


Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? Because itโ€™s in the ground state.


How many moles are in a guacamole? Avocadoโ€™s number.


If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.


What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.


Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.


What element is a girlโ€™s future best friend? Carbon.


I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.


Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na


Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!


Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? Heโ€™s 0K now.


What do you do with a dead chemists? Barium


What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon? A CaNiNe


What did the chemist snack on during lunch? A โ€˜gramโ€™ cracker.


What would you call a clown in jail? Silicon (Silly Con)


What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel and iron? A KNiFe.


How did carbon propose to Hydrogen? With a โ€œcarbonkneelโ€


What did one titration tell the other? Letโ€™s meet at the endpoint.


How can you spot a chemist in the restroom? They wash their hands before they go.


Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.


Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na


Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia? Because itโ€™s basic material.


Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about helium? He just could not put it down


Why do chemistry professor like to

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Punsville
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 30 2017
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Bilingual Pun: the Spanish Clothes Shopper

A man from Spain visiting the US walked into a clothes store. He said to the clerk, "Quiero comprar unos calcetines, por favor." Unfortunately, the clerk didn't speak Spanish, and the Spaniard didn't speak English. They searched all around the store, the clerk pointing to various items, hoping to find what the foreign customer wanted.

He pointed at jackets, but the foreigner shook his head and said "No quiero chaquetas." Then he pointed at shirts, but the client was not satisfied and said "No quiero ni camisas." The clerk pointed at sweaters, pants, shoes... but the Spaniard said he didn't want "ni sudaderas, ni pantalones, ni zapatos...".

They couldn't come across the item the shopper needed. Finally, the clerk points to a table of socks, and the man from Spain exclaimed with joy, "ยกEso sรญ que es!" The clerk exploded in anger, shouting "If you could spell it, why didn't you say it before?!"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thefizzynator
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 01 2016
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Conversation with my Dad via text message
  • Me: I'm picking up pizza, are you hungry?
  • Dad: No, I'm Dad.
  • Me: You're hilarious
  • Dad: Wrong again Matthew, I'm Dad!
  • I Walked right into it
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MattyT7
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 12 2014
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Caught a fish

friend caught a fish, another friend asked what time, but the dad had it covered http://imgur.com/niRJ0vj

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BRICKSQUADcompton
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 16 2014
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I've said it before and I'll say it again,

I've said it before.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SleepyBear1010
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
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