A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?"

"Pop," goes the weasel.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SheldonE65
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2021
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Never ask a pirate to say the alphabet

They can spend years at c

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cheezydadjoke
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2021
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Never say hi to your friend named jack at the airport

Your sure to start a big commotion

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thechosen1ornot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2021
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What do you call Luigi who can never say no?

Lu-oui-gi

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bondmemebond_2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2021
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They say ants never get sick

Must have to do with their strong anty bodies

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/larryb78
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2021
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My mother says that Jesus will never get mad at you because he loves you no matter what.

But I think he gets a little cross once in a while...

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dark_Warhead3
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2021
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The wife and I were at the marriage counselor. "Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true?" The marriage counselor asked glaring at me.

I look at my wife frustratingly and shout "You never even told me you sold flowers!?"

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
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What did the ninja say when his teacher told him he could never get into a good college?

Shuriken

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alasnik206
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2021
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What's something you should never say to a blind girlfriend?

I think we should see other people.

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SirCompliments
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
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I never understood why people say that a tennis ball hurts so bad.

Then it hit me.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RioZX
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
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Anakin was a bad student. Never paid attention in class, never took any tests seriously. All his teachers were angry with him. Teacher Obi-Wan was specially worried when he had to say,

"I have failed you, Anakin. I have failed you."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Esmeralda_i
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
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Never say no to dumplings.

They feel bad. They also have fillings inside.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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I could never accept a two-year sentence. I just don’t have that much to say.
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/equiinferno
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
You could say, I’ve never gotten rid of my bad vices
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DreamingCannibal
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
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I never say curse words

I swear

πŸ‘︎ 956
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OddZenn
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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Therapist: Your wife has complained that you never buy her flowers, what do you say to that?

To be honest I had no idea my wife sold flowers.

πŸ‘︎ 345
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Frase32
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report
These two dinosaurs were walking one day and they came across another dinosaur they had never seen before, eating plants. One says "Who is that?!" and the other replies...

"I dunno. I've never seen herbivore!"

πŸ‘︎ 70
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KingKaikster
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
🚨︎ report
They say to never go shopping for food when you’re hungry...

It’s been a week already and I'm just getting hungrier and hungrier.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Coolcalmjeff
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
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What do you never say to someone who lost his fingers?

we are crossing fingers for you.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dat-boi666
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
People say they never get hungry at the beach

That’s because there’s sand, which is everywhere.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jtfiction
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I never understood those signs that say β€œIn Case Of Fire, Break Glass”

How is broken glass supposed to put out a fire?

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
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Surveys say 9 out of 10 people have never tried beef tartare.

Apparently it’s very rare.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
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My son says he hates alphabet soup, though hes never even tried it

Well he's going to eat his words

πŸ‘︎ 99
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Patricia22
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Kid ant says to his father: "Dad, how come we never get sick"? ...

Father replies "well, it is because we have little anty-bodies son!"

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RealJellyGoose
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
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My pregnant wife keeps yelling, β€œNever say Never” in her sleep.

I think she’s having contradictions.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?

Pop, goes the weasel.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2021
🚨︎ report
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says β€œWow, I’ve never served a weasel before. What can I get you?”

β€œPop.” Goes the weasel.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/No_Hard_Feelings_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
🚨︎ report
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?

" "Pop," goes the weasel.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can i get you?"

"Pop" Goes the weasel

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ya_Boi_Jayson
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?

" "Pop," goes the weasel.

πŸ‘︎ 127
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get you?"

"Pop", goes the weasel.

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Therapist: your wife says you never buy her flowers.

Husband: to be honest, I didn’t know she sold flowers.

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/badhandlename
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
🚨︎ report
A weasel walks to the bar. The bartenders says "Wow, I've never served a weasel before! What can I get you?"

"Pop", goes the weasel.

πŸ‘︎ 440
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nakedurlrobot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2018
🚨︎ report
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?

" "Pop," goes the weasel.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
You should never say β€œhi” to your friend Jack at the airport.
πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ManyPandas
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
A weasel walks into a bar . The bartender says, β€œWow, I’ve never served a weasel before. What can I get you?”

β€œPop”, goes the weasel.

πŸ‘︎ 126
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iTrip-
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
🚨︎ report
A weasel walks into a bar, The bartender says β€œWow, I’ve never seen a weasel in here before, What can I get you?”

β€œPop.” Goes the weasel.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChaseCeer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Therapist:Your wife says you never buy her flowers is that true ?

Me:Well to be honest I never knew she sold flowers

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ramos394
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says β€œWow! I’ve never served a weasel before, what can I get for you?”

β€œPop,”goes the weasel.

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Netsdaman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2018
🚨︎ report
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?

" "Pop," goes the weasel.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?

" "Pop," goes the weasel.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Therapist: Your wife has complained you never buy her flowers, what do you have to say to that?

Well, in my defense, I never knew she sold flowers.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Therapist: She says you never buy her flowers? Why is that?

Him: I didn’t even know she was selling flowers?!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fukd_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get you?"

"Pop!" Goes the weasel.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1Autotech
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Marriage Counselor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers

I didnt know she sold flowers

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/322dank
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife says I never buy her flowers

To be honest, I didn't even know she sold them!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AmTheDanger
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report

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