A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?"
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Aug 15 2021
Never ask a pirate to say the alphabet
They can spend years at c
π︎ 14
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︎ Sep 10 2021
Never say hi to your friend named jack at the airport
Your sure to start a big commotion
π︎ 6
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︎ Sep 17 2021
What do you call Luigi who can never say no?
π︎ 7
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︎ Jul 31 2021
They say ants never get sick
Must have to do with their strong anty bodies
π︎ 25
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︎ Jul 27 2021
My mother says that Jesus will never get mad at you because he loves you no matter what.
But I think he gets a little cross once in a while...
π︎ 9
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︎ Jun 29 2021
The wife and I were at the marriage counselor. "Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true?" The marriage counselor asked glaring at me.
I look at my wife frustratingly and shout "You never even told me you sold flowers!?"
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Feb 09 2021
What did the ninja say when his teacher told him he could never get into a good college?
π︎ 12
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︎ Jul 04 2021
What's something you should never say to a blind girlfriend?
I think we should see other people.
π︎ 44
π
︎ Feb 25 2021
I never understood why people say that a tennis ball hurts so bad.
π︎ 14
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︎ Apr 02 2021
Anakin was a bad student. Never paid attention in class, never took any tests seriously. All his teachers were angry with him. Teacher Obi-Wan was specially worried when he had to say,
"I have failed you, Anakin. I have failed you."
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 24 2021
Never say no to dumplings.
They feel bad. They also have fillings inside.
π︎ 8
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︎ Dec 27 2020
I could never accept a two-year sentence. I just donβt have that much to say.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Sep 19 2020
You could say, Iβve never gotten rid of my bad vices
π︎ 23
π
︎ Feb 25 2020
I never say curse words
π︎ 956
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︎ Jan 28 2019
Therapist: Your wife has complained that you never buy her flowers, what do you say to that?
To be honest I had no idea my wife sold flowers.
π︎ 345
π
︎ Aug 07 2019
These two dinosaurs were walking one day and they came across another dinosaur they had never seen before, eating plants. One says "Who is that?!" and the other replies...
"I dunno. I've never seen herbivore!"
π︎ 70
π
︎ Feb 26 2020
They say to never go shopping for food when youβre hungry...
Itβs been a week already and I'm just getting hungrier and hungrier.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 11 2020
What do you never say to someone who lost his fingers?
we are crossing fingers for you.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 08 2020
People say they never get hungry at the beach
Thatβs because thereβs sand, which is everywhere.
π︎ 2
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︎ Jan 16 2020
I never understood those signs that say βIn Case Of Fire, Break Glassβ
How is broken glass supposed to put out a fire?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 30 2019
Surveys say 9 out of 10 people have never tried beef tartare.
Apparently itβs very rare.
π︎ 25
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︎ Aug 16 2019
My son says he hates alphabet soup, though hes never even tried it
Well he's going to eat his words
π︎ 99
π
︎ Aug 11 2018
Kid ant says to his father: "Dad, how come we never get sick"? ...
Father replies "well, it is because we have little anty-bodies son!"
π︎ 15
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︎ May 18 2019
My pregnant wife keeps yelling, βNever say Neverβ in her sleep.
I think sheβs having contradictions.
π︎ 4
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︎ Jul 30 2019
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, Wow, Iβve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 22 2021
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says βWow, Iβve never served a weasel before. What can I get you?β
βPop.β Goes the weasel.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Feb 24 2020
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?
"
"Pop," goes the weasel.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Oct 31 2019
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can i get you?"
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Feb 06 2019
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?
"
"Pop," goes the weasel.
π︎ 127
π
︎ Nov 11 2019
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get you?"
π︎ 47
π
︎ Apr 06 2020
Therapist: your wife says you never buy her flowers.
Husband: to be honest, I didnβt know she sold flowers.
π︎ 53
π
︎ Mar 03 2020
A weasel walks to the bar. The bartenders says "Wow, I've never served a weasel before! What can I get you?"
π︎ 440
π
︎ Nov 07 2018
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?
"
"Pop," goes the weasel.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Nov 10 2019
You should never say βhiβ to your friend Jack at the airport.
π︎ 28
π
︎ Nov 08 2019
A weasel walks into a bar . The bartender says, βWow, Iβve never served a weasel before. What can I get you?β
βPopβ, goes the weasel.
π︎ 126
π
︎ Apr 02 2019
A weasel walks into a bar, The bartender says βWow, Iβve never seen a weasel in here before, What can I get you?β
βPop.β Goes the weasel.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Dec 22 2019
Therapist:Your wife says you never buy her flowers is that true ?
Me:Well to be honest I never knew she sold flowers
π︎ 14
π
︎ Sep 02 2019
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says βWow! Iβve never served a weasel before, what can I get for you?β
βPop,βgoes the weasel.
π︎ 47
π
︎ Nov 01 2018
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?
"
"Pop," goes the weasel.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 12 2019
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?
"
"Pop," goes the weasel.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 12 2019
Therapist: Your wife has complained you never buy her flowers, what do you have to say to that?
Well, in my defense, I never knew she sold flowers.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Aug 13 2019
Therapist: She says you never buy her flowers? Why is that?
Him: I didnβt even know she was selling flowers?!
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 24 2019
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get you?"
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 07 2019
Marriage Counselor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers
I didnt know she sold flowers
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jun 25 2019
My wife says I never buy her flowers
To be honest, I didn't even know she sold them!
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 05 2019
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