A list of puns related to "Neil Fitzmaurice"
Please find the list below:
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I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
The nurse asked the rabbit, βwhat is your blood type?β
βI am probably a type Oβ said the rabbit.
Mentos
(I will see myself out)
The doctor says it terminal.
Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat
Do your worst!
How the hell am I suppose to know when itβs raining in Sweden?
Mathematical puns makes me number
We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.
Ants donβt even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.
But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
He lost May
Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.
Gender is fluid.
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
But let me give it a shot.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies π
It really does, I swear!
Heβs the new temp.
(all times E.S.T.)
THU JUL 01
(12:30am) The Ambassador's Daughter (1956/1h 43m/Comedy/Norman Krasna)
(2:30am) In This Our Life (1942/1h 37m/Drama/John Huston)
(4:15am) Dodge City (1939/1h 45m/Western/Michael Curtiz)
(6:00am) Friendly Persuasion (1956/2h 17m/Drama/William Wyler)
(8:30am) Jezebel (1938/1h 44m/Drama/William Wyler)
(10:30am) The Letter (1940/1h 37m/Drama/William Wyler)
(12:15pm) The Little Foxes (1941/1h 56m/Drama/William Wyler)
(2:45pm) Mrs. Miniver (1942/2h 14m/War/ William Wyler)
(5:00pm) The Best Years of Our Lives (1946/2h 52m/Drama/William Wyler)
(8:00pm) Kissin' Cousins (1964/1h 36m/Musical/Gene Nelson)
(10:00pm) Double Trouble (1967/1h 30m/Musical/Norman Taurog)
FRI JUL 02
(12:00am) Clambake (1967/1h 40m/Musical/Arthur H. Nadel)
(2:00am) Live a Little, Love a Little (1968/1h 30m/Musical/Norman Taurog)
(4:00am) Cash McCall (1960/1h 42m/Romance/Joseph Pevney)
(6:00am) The Mayor of 44th Street (1942/1h 26m/Musical/Alfred E. Green)
(7:30am) Youth Runs Wild (1944/1h 7m/Drama/Mark Robson)
(8:45am) Boys Town (1938/1h 36m/Drama/Norman Taurog)
(10:30am) Boys' Ranch (1946/1h 37m/Western/Roy Rowland)
(12:15pm) Boy Slaves (1939/1h 12m/Drama/P. J. Wolfson)
(1:30pm) Crime School (1938/1h 26m/Drama/Lewis Seiler)
(3:15pm) Finishing School (1934/1h 13m/Drama/Wanda Tuchock)
(4:45pm) Delinquent Daughters (1944/1h 12m/Drama/Albert Herman)
(6:00pm) The Trouble With Angels (1966/1h 52m/Comedy/Ida Lupino)
(8:00pm) Harper (1966/2h 1m/Neo-Noir/Jack Smight)
(10:15pm) Point Blank (1967/1h 32m/Neo-Noir/John Boorman)
SAT JUL 03
(12:00am) Warning Shot (1967/1h 40m/Neo-Noir/Buzz Kulik)
(2:00am) What's the Matter with Helen? (1971/1h 41m/Horror/Curtis Harrington)
(3:45am) Fragment of Seeking (1946/0h 14min/Drama Short/Curtis Harrington)
(4:05am) Picnic (1949/0h 22m/Drama Short/Curtis Harrington)
(4:25am) On the Edge (1949/0h 6m/Drama Short/Curtis Harrington)
(4:45am) The Assignation (1953/0h 8m/Drama Short/Curtis Harrington)
(5:05am) The Wormwood Star (1956/0h 10m/Documentary Short/Curtis Harrington)
(5:40am) Usher (2000/0h 40m/Horror Short/Curtis Harrington)
(6:00am) Dream Wife (1953/1h 41m/Comedy/Sidney Sheldon)
(
... keep reading on reddit β‘And now Iβm cannelloni
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
But thatβs comparing apples to oranges
And boy are my arms legs.
Amy
Put it on my bill
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
BamBOO!
Theyβre on standbi
A play on words.
Calcium, nickel, neon
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Pilot on me!!
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