I was interrogating a crab the other day and I asked it “What’s your name? Where do you live? What’s that on your back?”
My neighbor is a farmer and asked for name suggestions for her new born calf that start with the letter J.
My middle name is Stevenson because my dads name is Steven and I’m his son.
So I guess you could say dad jokes are my middle name.
Asked my 2 and a half year old what he wanted his name to be.
He pointed to the coffee table where we have a bag of candy and said "M&M!!!"
Guess I have to call him Slim Shady from now on...
My wife and I are making some artwork in the name of our favourite Bon Jovi song. So far we have the words "Livin' on".
"Hello, My name is Dave and I'm addicted to baby powder "
Benedict Cumberbatch got tired of all the jokes on his name and changed it to Benedict Batch
Now and later candies are changing thier name.
It offends those who have already done it.
What last name belongs to a man who is annoying and inherited a lot of money?
My dad adopted a puppy today and wants to name him ‘Stay’...
That way he can spend all day saying “Come, Stay”, “Go, Stay”, “Fetch, Stay” and “Stay, Stay”.
so my drummer friend and her partner just had triplets. Girls. Their names?
Anna One, Anna Two, Anna 1-2-3.
My son is starting school soon and thinks the other children will pick on him because of his name. I reassured him, "Don't be silly!"
"Why would anyone pick on you, Someoneyourownsize!?"
So you find the perfect Asian gal, you get up the courage to speak to her, you walk over and start small talk, you ask her name, and you find out...
Open a company for boob jobs and name it Entity.
It has recently been discovered that William Tell and his son belonged to a bowling league. But Swiss historians have not been able to determine the name of the league's sponsors.
We may never know for whom the Tells bowled.
You're lucky that he didn't name them Devon and Devoff!
What is the fruit that is green on the outside and red with black seeds on the inside, the name start with an H
I suggested a new name for the planet Saturn to an astrophysicist and he seemed to like it
He said it had a nice ring to it.
I was visiting my blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
She responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
I said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' she answered, “They're watch dogs'!
My friend just called me and told me he has changed his name to Spinal Column.
I said, "I'll call you back."
Wanted a unique name for our new pet dog and asked a friend for ideas. His answer?
My friend Jay recently had twins, and want to name them after him.
So I suggested Kay and Elle.
Hello, my name is Richard, and I have a bad knee..
You can call me Limp Dick
I told my kids, "Did you know Albert Einstein had a brother that was an evil scientist who created a monster from body parts and his name was…"
I know a Vietnamese couple who got married and decided to both hyphenate their last names
It was a Nguyen-Nguyen scenario
What’s the difference between Chris Christie’s first and last name?
My name is Lee and i have a son.
Why did the singer go by the name Afroman and not Afrowoman?
Because he’s a guy, because he’s a guy, because he’s a guy.
I once saw two men quarreling because both claimed that his family name is Fuck and the other is lying. After seeing their IDs, I found out that only one man was telling the truth, the one with the first name What.
JK Rowling should start the first smart door company and name it SmartleDoor
You would open the door with a wand attached to your keychain instead of a key
Two cats had a race across a river. Their names were "One Two Three" and "Un Deux Trois". Which one came first?
"One Two Three" did cos "Un Deux Trois" cat sank.
What was the name of the Egyptian that was buried with chocolate and nuts?
I wrote down the names of everyone I hate on a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll his joint.
He’s now high on the list of people I never want to see again.
If my name was Travis, I would get a tee shirt and put my name across the chest.
Kim has a daughter name North, and North has a leader name Kim.
My friend and I where discussing how certain names will never enter certain cultures. He asked if there was ever a Korean Juan? I said no, but...
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
I was just asked about the name of the song written by Ida Corr and Fedde Le Grand
Germany is the cleanest city in the world and had to change its name to something else
I guess there’s no Germany more
I want to buy a female dog and name it “Karma”
Her: No boo, I meant who and said your name. Ray: Why are you booing me?
Had to remove a load of German names and stuff from my pre-owned iPhone..
A detective was investigating a murder. He soon found that the murder weapon was the bag of the murderer and it had their name on it.
My name is Jay and we are an Icelandish family. My wife and I could never come up with a name for our son.
Verily I gave unto him a goblet, and forthwith hailed him by the name he hath previously declared to me...
There was a girl I work with named Novalee, and one day I asked her how her name was spelled.
She looked at me and said, “Guess.” I responded with, “Wow! That’s NOTHING like how it’s spelled!” And from that moment on I would only call her Guess.
Why did a man name his dogs Rolex and Timex?
Because they were Watch Dogs.
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