A, B, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, & Z are all racists.. How do I know?

Because they're all not 'C's.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedPlanetCorridor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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My imterviewer asked me why I put A, C, D, E, I, M, N, O, R, and T on my application.

I told him they were the letters of recommendation.

πŸ‘︎ 160
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChargedMedal
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z

Happy No L!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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Why do I fear the letters N, M, and E?

They're my worst NME.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/repIies_with_puns
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
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I’m afraid to leave the coordinates 90.0000Β°N, 135.0000Β°W and 90.0000Β°S, 45.0000Β°E.

I was diagnosed with bye-polar disorder

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πŸ‘€︎ u/samrf1202
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
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Can I play World War Z without having played World War A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X and Y before? /r/ShouldIbuythisgame/com…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonaSavage17
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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Took me a second…
πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flyin_lynx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2022
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Pot Brown-Es at work
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArtisanGerard
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2023
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Office chicken
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jumpingjunipr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2022
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Why bother
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2022
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A wild punning x 2
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheesesnax
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2022
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This could spell disaster.
πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HypnotizeD_X
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2022
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Share your favorite Tombstone Puns

Halloween is approaching and I am making some punny tombstone decorations, in the spirit of Disney's Haunted Mansion cemetery. I thought it would be fun to collect some new ones from the reddit community. Here are Disney's crypt puns. Please share any additional ones that you can come up with.

  1. Asher T. Ashes (Ashes to ashes)
  2. Bea Witch (Bewitch)
  3. C. U. Later (See you later)
  4. Clare Voince (Clairvoyance)
  5. Dustin T. Dust (Dust into dust)
  6. G. I. Missyou (Gee I miss you)
  7. Hail N. Hardy (Hale and hearty)
  8. Hal Lusinashun (Hallucination)
  9. Hap A. Rition (Apparition)
  10. I. Emma Spook (I am a spook)
  11. I. L. Beback (I'll be back)
  12. I. M. Mortal (I am mortal)
  13. I. M. Ready (I am ready)
  14. I. Trudy Departed (I truly departed)
  15. I. Trudy Dew (I truly do)
  16. Levi Tation (Levitation)
  17. Love U. Trudy (Love you truly)
  18. M. T. Tomb (Empty tomb)
  19. Manny Festation (Manifestation)
  20. Metta Fisiks (Metaphysics)
  21. Paul Tergyst (Poltergeist)
  22. Pearl E. Gates (Pearly Gates)
  23. Ray N. Carnation (Reincarnation)
  24. Rustin Peece (Rest in peace)
  25. Rusty Gates (Rusty Gates)
  26. Theo Later (See you later)
  27. U. R. Gone (You are gone)
  28. Wee G. Bord (Ouija board)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/offsky
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2021
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A deer, B deer, C deer, D deer,...

... E deer, F deer, G deer, H deer, I deer, J deer, K deer, L deer, M deer, N deer, P deer, Q deer, R deer, S deer, T deer, U deer, V deer, W deer, X deer, Y deer and Z deer.

Wait.. did I miss one out? O deer

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OPettz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2022
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A boy raises his hand in class and asks the teacher if he can be excused to use the bathroom, the teacher says..

β€˜yes but just to prove you’ve been paying attention I’d like you to recite the alphabet first’

So with his best effort the boy replies β€˜A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z’

The teacher says β€˜very good but what happened to the P?’

β€˜Well this took so long it’s running down my leg’

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2021
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The Eskimo Restaurant

I went to an Eskimo restaurant and asked the waiter what was on the menu. The waiter said: "There is whale meat; whale meat; whale meat or Vera Lynn." I asked, "What's Vera Lynn?" The waiter replied "w-h-a-l-e-m-e-a-t-a-g-a-i-n!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chris378
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2021
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Even though I've never met you, I know how to spell your name. Do you want to know how?

y-o-u-r n-a-m-e

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Westerfield
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
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My son's first dad joke

My wife, 2 year old son, and I were traveling this past week and went through a drive thru for lunch. After finishing his meal, my son was trying to figure out what the bag said. Not being able to turn around and see what he is seeing, the following exchange took place.

Wife "Do you know what the letters are on the bag?"

Son "Yes!"

Wife " Tell me what the letters are"

Son "A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z!"

Me "Was that his first dad joke?"

Wife "He is definitely your son" and rolled her eyes.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/steveh28
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2014
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My girlfriend was writing a bunch of boring reflection paragraphs for class

She says, "I can't even spell anymore!"

Me: "A-N-Y-M-O-R-E"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/circuits_are_love
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2014
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Papa, How do you spell my name in greek?

M-Y-N-A-M-E-I-N-G-R-E-E-K

Son gives me a hurt look and I can't stop laughing. Wife just rolls her eyes at me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Darklightadept
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2013
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A little Christmas song. A B C D E F G H I J K M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/December_Soul
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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I have updated the alphabet for festive period. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z

No-el no-L

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RikM
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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A Christmas Dad Joke

A B C
D E F G
H I J K M N
O P Q R S T U V
W X Y Z
No L, no L
No L, no L

I forgot where I heard this but I use it every year lol
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all my fellow redditors!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2022
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Why did A, B, C...?

Why did A, B, C, D, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y and Z all get sent to the principal's office?

Because they were naughty! (Not "E")

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2022
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Teacher: Sing the alphabet.

Student: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, phosphorus, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z.

Teacher: How did you say phosphorus instead of L, M, N, O, and P?

Student: Because phosphorus is EL-EM-EN-TAL P.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
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I commissioned an artist to make me a set of letters of the alphabet out of cast iron.

I received A, B, C, D, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z.

I'm missing the iron E.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tratemusic
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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You would expect A Queue to go in order

but it skips b c d e f g h I j k l m n o and p

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/G3RRRIT
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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Daddy, how do you spell your name?

Y-o-u-r N-a-m-e

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/987asdfH
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2016
🚨︎ report

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